Part Of The Duh-Com Era

(I answer phones for an office in a university. We often get non-traditional students, meaning older or working students, and they can be hard to work with. This gentleman has been constantly cutting me off mid-sentence by trying to answer his own question, and then asking me to repeat myself because I ‘talk too fast for him.’ Finally, at the end of the call, he asks me how he can get a stipend all residents in the state of Colorado qualify for applied to his tuition.)

Me: “Okay to get the stipend you have to apply for COF. I apologize, but because the stipend is not [university] exclusive, I don’t know the exact webpage. You can Google it and apply online there.”

Student: “Okay it’s on [university]’s website.”

Me: “No, it’s not a [university] exclusive thing. It’s a separate website. You can Google ‘COF’ and find it. Thats ‘COF,’ C as in—”

Student: “Oh okay, so P – R – O – F.com?”

Me: “No sir, C as—”

Student: “Okay! P!”

Me: “No! Sir, C as in—”

Student: “Okay, P – R – O—”

Me: “NO! Sir, it’s C as in College, O as in Opportunity, and F as in Fund.”

Student: “Okay, so C – O – F.com?”

Me: “No, I apologize but as it is not a [university] website, I don’t know the exact link, but when you google it, it’s the first link.”

Student: “Okay then!” *hangs up*