Parents Are (Pea)Nuts!

(At our store, there is an open bin of salted peanuts, still in the shell, that you can scoop into bags. As I am finishing up with a round of stocking, I notice a kid holding himself up over the edge of the bin, grabbing peanuts, licking the salt off the outside, then dropping them back into the bin. I immediately hurry over.)

Me: “Hey, bud. I need you to get down from there. You can’t be licking the peanuts; you don’t know how many people have been touching them with dirty hands before you.”

Kid: “Eww!”

(He hops down, and I start reaching for a bag so I can try to scoop out the contaminated nuts as best I can. Then, I feel a hand on my arm which yanks me backward. I turn, just in time to duck away from a swatting hand. There is a lady standing behind me, looking livid.)

Woman: “How dare you?! Who gave you the right to talk to my son like that?”

Me: “Ma’am, he was licking the peanuts, which is unhygienic and a health hazard. He can’t…”

Woman: *red-faced* “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

(She tries to swing at me again, and I duck backward. One of the managers from the deli comes hurrying up.)

Manager: “What’s the matter? What’s going on here?”

(I speak up before the woman can shout some more.)

Me: “This lady is upset that I told her child to stop licking the peanuts.”

(The manager’s face screws up in a look of distaste.)

Manager: “Yuck.”

(The woman let out a wordless scream and dragged her son towards the front of the store, leaving her cart behind. I ended up putting it away after scooping the top layer of peanuts into bags to be written off.)