Pardon His French

| Learning | December 19, 2013

(There is a classmate in my British literature class who hates everyone. Every week, before the professor arrives, he rants about how horrible various ethnic groups (Germans, LGBT, Latin Americans, etc.) are. Normally, we just roll our eyes and ignore him. Today, [Classmate #2], who sits beside him, has evidently had enough.)

Classmate #1: “God, I hate the French. They are the most pompous a**-holes!”

Classmate #2: “Really? Because the most pompous person I’ve ever seen is you!”

Classmate #1: “What? The French are a bunch of cowards! You’re an American! You have to hate the French!”

Classmate #2: “Yeah? Well, you must’ve failed your last history test. As [Professor] told us, the French were pretty bad-a** during World War II.”

Classmate #1: “But—”

(The professor, who none of us notice until he clears his throat, stands in the doorway.)

Professor: “[Classmate #1], there’s also the fact that your professor is, indeed, French. I expect you to write me an essay on the importance of France-US relations, no less than 3,000 words and due in two days. Perhaps [Classmate #2] can help you with that.”

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