Paper Thin Excuse

| Working | August 9, 2013

(I am having dinner with my sister and my dad at a popular Mexican restaurant. We were seated near the kitchen. My sister orders guacamole.)

Sister: *takes a bite* “This tastes funny. Look at this; does this look weird to you?”

Me: “Did they put lettuce in your guacamole? What is that? Dad, can you tell what that is?”

(Dad lifts something out of the guacamole, and frowns.)

Dad: “That’s a receipt! How the heck did a receipt get in a bowl of guacamole?”

(My dad flags down a waiter.)

Dad: “Um, could I get the manager, please?”

Waiter: “Oh, sure. Is there a problem? Did I do something?”

Dad: “No, you’re great. But, um, yeah, we kinda have a problem. Could we get the manager?”

Waiter: “I’ll go get him.”

(The manager comes over, looking frazzled.)

Manager: “Is there a problem, folks?”

Dad: “Yeah. Somebody put a receipt in my daughter’s guacamole.”

Manager: “They did WHAT? Was it served to you that way?”

Dad: “Yeah! We thought it was lettuce! Can we have another bowl, please?”

Manager: “Uhhh… that’s it? You just want another bowl?”

Dad: “Yeah. Is that a problem?”

Manager: “…so you’re not demanding free food, or threatening to sue?”

Dad: “No, there’s no sense in making a scene. Could we just get another bowl, please?”

Manager: “I don’t know how that happened, and you guys have been great. I’ll give you the food for free. Thanks for being so calm and understanding!”

(The manager stomps into the kitchen.)

Manager: “WHO THE H*** PUT A RECEIPT IN THE GUACAMOLE? WHO DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT? WE DON’T EVEN KEEP RECEIPTS IN HERE! THAT MEANS SOME IDIOT LITERALLY HAD TO BRING ONE IN AND STICK IT IN THERE! WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS IT?”

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