Papa’s Not Home

(This takes place between my manager and a customer over the phone.)

Caller: “Hey, is John there?”

Manager: “Sorry sir, this is [pizza place]. There’s no John here.”

Caller: “Stop playin’, John, we’re supposed to go to the movies soon.”

Manager: “Sir, seriously, this is [pizza place]. I think you may have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Well, crap! Do y’all have any deals?”

Manager: “Well, you can get a large 3 topping and a 2-liter for $10.60.”

Caller: “D***, that’s better than John!”

Manager: “Yes, sir, it sure is.”