Painkillers Totally Trucked Him Up

(I have recently been prescribed painkillers for an injury, and the dosage is based on my size. Apparently, my much smaller boyfriend has mistaken one of my pain killers for aspirin, and is a bit overwhelmed by the drugs. He wanders over and drapes himself over my legs.)

Boyfriend: “[My Name]. Honey. Sweetheart. Love of my life.”

Me: “I think you need a nap.”

Boyfriend: “Nooooo… I can’t sleep.”

(He is practically asleep already, but I decide to humor him.)

Me: “Oh really? Why not?”

Boyfriend: “Because my love for you… is like a truck. A really big semi. And the honking is keeping me up. You know, honk, honk.”

(He stares at me for a moment, then rolls off of my legs and onto the floor.)

Me: “[Boyfriend]?”

Boyfriend: “Please put this on Not Always Romantic.” *falls asleep*