Twice As Stupid

| CA, USA | Right | July 20, 2015

(I work in a restaurant where we ‘twice fry’ our fries. We cut them ourselves then blanch them, a process of semi cooking them, then fry them to order later. They are listed on the menu as twice fried. We get an order on the screen that has the fried modified to say ‘once fried only.’)

Fry Cook: “Once fried? They want uncooked fries?”

Waitress: “That’s what they said. I tried to explain that would be a soggy, uncooked fry. They won’t listen.”

Fry Cook: “I can’t send that out.”

Sous Chef: “Just send out the regular fries and don’t say anything.”

Waitress: *coming back 30 minutes later* “Well, they loved their ‘once fried’ fries, and insisted they were soooo much better than our normal fries. They asked, how come we didn’t always make them like this?”

Can You Hear Me Now?!

| Right | July 20, 2015

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Act Of Misdirection

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | July 20, 2015

(I am volunteering and have been assigned to a small cinema for a South African film where the director is appearing. My job is to guard the seats reserved for VIPs.)

Customer: “Listen, do I really have to sit in these seats so far back?”

Me: “Sorry, but these are reserved for VIP personnel only. However, if there are still free seats when the movie starts, then we can see about seating you here.”

Customer: “Look, the director of the film gave me tickets himself!” *folds arms for dramatic effect and looks sternly at me*

Me: “Err… isn’t the director a woman?”

(The customer quickly looks nervous and drains of colour. They scuttle back to their seat quickly.)

WTF Is OFD?

| WI, USA | Right | July 20, 2015

(I work at an ice cream/grill chain store in a small town. I’m training in a new cashier when one of our regulars comes in.)

Regular: “I want my usual.”

Trainee: “I’m sorry?”

Regular: “My usual. You know, with the OFD.”

Trainee: “The what?”

(He repeats the request a couple more times, getting ruder. I decide to intervene and introduce the trainee to our customer.)

Regular: “Oh! You mean you aren’t [Another Coworker]? I want the chicken basket with the OFD.”

(We have half a dozen combos that that could describe, so I ring the order in over the trainee’s shoulder. The customer gets the senior discount and sits in his usual spot without taking a number.)

Trainee: “What’s an OFD?”

Me: “Old fart’s discount.”

Start Over

| Right | July 19, 2015

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