Worth Its Weight In Golden

| Exeter, England, UK | Funny Names, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(A rather frazzled looking customer rushes in and comes straight over to the counter.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like 12.5g of golden virginity please…”

(Pause.)

Me: “I’m sorry, love, there are some things we just can’t give back.”

Customer: “Oh my goodness, Virginia! I meant golden Virginia!”

Their Logic Is Priceless

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a retail store that has deals where if you buy two of certain items, you get both at a discounted price. You cannot buy only one and get it at half the price.)

Customer: *shows me [Brand] body wash & [Brand] deodorant* “These are the same price and are on for the same ‘buy 2 for $4’ deal. It’ll still go through, right?”

Me: “We will find out once I scan them in.”

(I scan each item in individually and no deal shows up. So I ring each item in twice before having to call price check and sure enough, the deal comes off separately PER ITEM.)

Me: “Sir, it appears the deal is for each item individually. These two cannot be combined.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! They’re the same price and on for the same deal. I should be able to mix and match them!”

Me: “Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way, unless it’s a deal on the brand. And this time, it’s on the objects. You’d have to buy two deodorants or two body washes to get the deal.”

Customer: “But that’s ridiculous! THEY’RE THE SAME PRICE ON FOR THE SAME DEAL! Can’t you do anything about that?”

Me: “Sir, I cannot. The deal is on the items, and not the brand. If you’d like, I can ring you in for two of each and you can pick them up before you leave.”

Customer: “But if you have a deal on for chips, you can buy one ketchup and one BBQ and still get the deal! Why can’t I do that here?”

Me: “…because those are both chips. These are not the same item.”

Customer: “I get that… but they’re the same price!”

(This went on for a couple more minutes, him using the same logic. He didn’t end up buying the body wash or the deodorant. Moral of the story: you should be able to buy one yoghurt and one dish soap for a discounted price, providing they’re on for the same sale price.)

Juggling Orders In Disorder

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I’m on the phone taking an order for a catered event. A customer approaches the counter. Despite my other coworkers who are mostly unoccupied, the customer seems intent on getting my attention, and the customer on the phone won’t let me get a word in to ask her to hold for a second.)

Counter Customer: “Excuse me! I need you!”

Me: *trying to get the attention of another worker* “Someone will help you in a second.” *to the phone* “I’m sorry, could you repeat that last part, ma’am…”

Counter Customer: “No! I need you to help!”

Me: *points to phone* “I’m helping another customer right now. Someone will be right over.”

Counter Customer: “NO! YOU HELP!”

(At this point, I turn away to take the order on the phone. Suddenly, the customer comes behind the counter, snatches the phone from me and hangs it up.)

Counter Customer: “You help me NOW!”

Me: *exasperated* “Please go back around the counter, ma’am. What was it you needed?”

Counter Customer: “I didn’t get a cup for my drink. ”

(After sending her on her way, I call the other customer back.)

Me: “I am so sorry about that we got disconnected, ma’am. How many people are you serving again?”

Phone Customer: “I think I’m going to take my business elsewhere. It was very rude and unprofessional of you to hang up on a customer. If you didn’t want to take my order, you could have just said!” *click*