That’s Common Sense Out Of The Window

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I am doing a new PC rollout for a very prominent technical engineering company. This conversation occurs one day after giving them a brand new PC.)

Me: “I understand your new computer won’t boot up.”

Client: “Yes. It worked fine yesterday, but this morning it won’t load.”

(I look at the start up and find that the entire Windows Folder has been removed.)

Me: “Did you edit anything yesterday before shutting down?”

Client: “Yes, I went through and deleted everything that I didn’t recognize.”

Not One’s Cup Of Tea

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am waiting in line at a petrol station that sells coffees, snacks, and other small grocery items as well as petrol. The customer in front of me is speaking to the cashier.)

Customer: “I just want two tea bags, please.”

Cashier: “Do you mean you want two teas to go?”

Customer: “No, I just want to pay for two tea bags on their own.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry. We can’t just sell you individual tea bags. We have boxes of 20 tea bags over on the shelves that you can buy.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “I don’t understand. Can’t you just take two tea bags from the box and sell them to me?”

Cashier: “No, we can’t do that.”

(The customer turns to me with a look of disbelief on her face.)

Customer: *to me* “Why can’t they just sell me two tea bags?!”

Me: “Because they don’t have individual tea bags as an item in their computer system so they can’t just charge you for this arbitrary item. They are not items that are for sale individually.”

Customer: “Ugh! Who asked you, anyway?!”

Me: “Uh, YOU did.”

(The customer leaves in a huff while shooting me a dirty look.)

Missed The Magic Of The Magic Kingdom

| Fayetteville, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Religion

(A customer comes up to the till and hands me a bunch of DVDs. We have to up-sell, for obvious reasons.)

Me: “I see you are getting a bunch of Disney movies. Did you know the newest Harry Potter just came out? We do have some copies on the shelf.”

Customer: “I’m not even going to touch that anti-Christ movie! Any movie that delves into magic is Satan’s movies!”

(I look down at the movies being rented and finish the transaction with no more chit-chatting.)

Me: “Enjoy The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast! Have a nice day!”

It’s Time To End The Shift On A High

| Huntsville, AL, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I’m just finishing up a call with a pleasant customer, my last call for the day. Because of mandatory overtime, I’ve been at work for almost 12 hours straight and can’t wait to leave.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?”

Customer: “Hang on. My daughter wants to ask you a question.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I hear the customer hand the phone to his daughter. She sounds very young: probably three or four.)

Girl: “Hi!”

Me: “Hi, there! How are you?”

Girl: “Good. Hey, do you know what time it is?”

Me: *playing along* “No, sweetie. What time is it?”

Girl: “It’s peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly and a baseball bat!”

Customer: “Sorry about that. She just HAS to sing it every time I’m on the phone.”

Me: *laughing really hard* “It’s perfectly fine, sir. I can’t think of a better way to end my shift!”

Didn’t Do Math At Hogwarts

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(A customer is renting ‘Harry Potter: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.’)

Customer: “Have you watched this?”

Me: “Yes, but I found the books to be much better.”

Customer: “How can you like the work of some lazy author?”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “There are eight movies, but only seven books. The author got lazy and wrapped everything up in seven books instead of writing eight!”

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