Customer Service To Swear By

| Bay Area, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Movies & TV

(My husband and I work at the same small store. This day he is helping a woman and her five- or six-year-old son while I am wiping down a counter nearby.)

Son: “[Name] watches adult movies.”

Husband: “Oh?!”

Customer: *quickly* “He means his cousin watches movies rated PG-13 or R.”

Husband: *laughs*

Son: “They have bad words in them.”

Husband: “Yeah, I don’t like bad words. They hurt my head and my heart, and make angels cry!”

(I had to bite the inside of my lip, and had to avoid looking at my husband to keep from laughing. My husband is a former member of the Navy, and still swears like a sailor!)

Midwest Going South

| West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(Most of the time when guests have a clogged toilet they come down or call and ask for a plunger or someone to come up. After all, we really don’t need to know WHY it’s clogged to fix it (and honestly we don’t want you to tell us).)

Guest: “Yeah, could I have a plunger? I just took a good old Midwestern s***!”

Me: “I did not know that was something the Midwest was known for…”

I’ll Have My Usual Irregular

| Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am another customer in this story standing at the drink counter stirring my coffee when two drinks come ready at the same time. Despite the drinks being different sizes, very different contents, and called out with both to a shop quiet enough to be heard easily, both customers reach for the same drink.)

Customer #1: “Yours is the grande.”

Customer #2: “Are you sure?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, I had a tall.”

Customer #2: “I guess I forgot what my regular is.”