His Attitude Speaks Volumes

| Cambridge, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(I am browsing in a well-known book store. There is an employee a few feet away from me currently filling and pricing an entire bookcase by herself. Bypassing the customer service desk right next to me, an angry-looking man storms towards the employee.)

Customer: “You! You need to help me! I’m looking for volume 12 of [Popular New Manga Series] and you need to get it for me!”

Employee: “Oh. Well, all our manga books are just there, where that lady is currently stood.”

Customer: “But I can’t find it! You need to get it for me now!”

Employee: “I’m ever so sorry, but I’m unable to leave these books unattended at the moment. There should be another of my colleagues that might be able to help you find it at the customer service desk which is just ov—”

Customer: “But YOU need to help me! I’ve asked you! My son needs that volume and YOU need to get it for him!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you.”

(The man storms off back in my direction, shouting back at the employee.)

Customer: “Well, you’ve been a TREMENDOUS help! Thanks for nothing, you stupid b****!”

Me: “Hey, there’s absolutely no need for that!”

Customer: “And just what are YOU going to do about it, b****?!”

Me: “Hmmm, I don’t know… Oh, wait. Didn’t I hear you say you were looking for the new volume of [Popular New Manga Series]? Volume 12, wasn’t it?”

Customer: “Yeah? What of it?!”

Me: “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but the book I’m currently holding just happens to be that volume, doesn’t it?”

Customer: “Yes! Where was that?!”

Me: “Exactly where the employee told you it was before you berated her. Such a shame that this is the last copy as well. Seeing as you were such an insufferable d*****bag, you now get to watch me carry it to the checkout and purchase it! Bye!”

(The man screamed at me and the employee for so long that the police were called. The employee actually bought the book for me out of her own pocket as a way of thanking me!)

Bill Of Rights

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(The gas station I work at frequently runs out of small bills on the weekends so we have a difficult time making change. Normally, we put large, colorful signs on the front counters asking for smaller bills, and most people will oblige, but we still get people who try to ask for change after using the ATM.)

Customer: “Could I get change for this twenty?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have any small bills to spare.” *points at neon pink sign*

Customer: “That’s stupid. Just give me some change.”

Me: “I can’t. I won’t be able to make change for people who actually buy something.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever!”

(He then proceeds to wander the store, finally picking out the cheapest item we have, a 50-cent package of crackers, and walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like these.” *hands me a twenty*

Me: “Sir, I really don’t have change for this.”

Customer: “Just sell me this so I can get some f****** change!”

(I ended up giving it to him just to get him out of the store.)

Waiting For The Bad Customer That Never Comes

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Time

(I’m getting food at a rather well-known fast-food joint that specializes in American-Chinese cuisine. I’ve just finished placing a large order.)

Cashier: “The [dish] is out right now. Would you like something else, or would you like to wait? It’ll be about 10 minutes to make another batch.”

Me: “I’m fine with waiting. Thank you.”

Cashier: “Okay, that’ll be [total]. Can I have your name so I can call you when it’s all ready?”

(I give her my name, pay, and take a step back to wait. About three minutes pass and I notice her walking out to me with a cup.)

Cashier: “Sir, I’m sorry it’s taking so long. Would you like a complimentary drink?”

Me: “Uh… sure, I guess. It’s really no problem though. Only 10 minutes, right?”

Cashier: “Thank you for being so understanding!”

(She hands me the cup and goes back to serving other customers. Another three minutes pass and I notice one of her coworkers is waving me over to the counter.)

Coworker: “We’re really sorry for the wait, sir. Would you like a complimentary order of egg rolls for your trouble?”

Me: “Thank you for the offer, but no. Seriously, I’m really fine with the wait. It’s no problem.”

Coworker: “Okay, then. Just let us know if there’s anything we can do for you.”

(I step back from the counter and wait a few more minutes until the cashier calls my name.)

Cashier: “Here you are, sir! I’m so sorry for the delay, I tossed in a few orders of egg rolls and rangoon because it took so long.”

Me: “Really, that’s very nice, but you didn’t have to do that. You were up-front with the wait time and it took almost exactly what you told me. You really don’t owe me any free food or even the drink.”

(Suddenly it all clicks.)

Me: “People still freak out when they have to wait even after you tell them how long it’s going to be, don’t they?”

Cashier: “You have no idea. Have a great day!”

Cleaning Out The Trash

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(It is 10 minutes after closing, and my manager hadn’t locked our front door. Two customers walk in. Our focus is on customer service as a business, so we allow them to shop. I am currently mopping the floor, which is filthy because of the snow.)

Customer #1: “Ew! Something smells disgusting over here!” *walking towards mop bucket* “Ugh, it’s this!”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s strong cleaning fluid. Our floors get nasty in the winter.”

Customer #2: “Do you really need to do that right now? We are trying to shop!”

Me: *eyetwitch* “I’m very sorry, ladies. We closed 15 minutes ago, so I am just trying to finish the nightly chores so we can go home. I haven’t mopped in the direction you’re headed, so it shouldn’t bother you after this patch.”

Customer #1: “…rude.” *both of them walk off*

Coworker: *who has been watching quietly* “Actually, I just finished mopping over there.”

Me: “You’re my favorite.”

Will Drive You To Despair

| Tacoma, WA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid

(As an airman I am ‘volunteered’ to help with managing traffic and marshaling cars to their parking spots. While the traffic of cars is stalled I noticed a woman talking on her phone while driving. This was a few months after it became illegal to talk on your phone while driving in Washington. I walk up to her car to ask her to get off her phone while she parked as we already had multiple collisions that day.)

Woman: *finally off the phone* “My boyfriend just told me that I need photo ID to get into the air show!”

Me: “Ma’am, you need photo ID to be allowed to drive.”

Page 998/3,081First...9969979989991,000...Last