Not So Closed Minded, Part 8

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am the opening manager. Every morning my duties include powering on the lights, setting up the dining room, and putting our A-frame sign out on the sidewalk. Due to customers attempting to get in before we open, I always reserve these tasks for last. My boss could never understand why, until today…)

Boss: “If you just get it done first thing, you don’t have to worry about it and you can get started on preparing the fresh food!”

Me: “I’d advise against it… Can we at least leave the lights off to help discourage people from coming in?”

(My boss agrees, but it’s clear he doesn’t see why I’m so hesitant to set up the dining area. He takes all the chairs down, and goes to put the sign out on the sidewalk despite the fact that we aren’t open for another hour and a half… and a customer immediately walks in behind him. It’s about 9:30 am.)

Customer: “I want [hot meatball sandwich]!”

Boss: “Unfortunately, we aren’t open yet, sir. You came in right behind me as I was putting our sign out.”

Customer: “Then make me a [pizza]!”

Boss: “Sir, we aren’t open yet. Our ovens aren’t even on. They take time to heat up, so right now I can’t cook you anything! Even if I could, I don’t have most of the ingredients prepared. If you want a salad, I can make an exception. Those aren’t hot and they don’t take long. But I can’t cook anything.”

Customer: “What!? Why won’t you sell me a god-d*** pizza?! Your sign is out! Your lights are on! I demand you sell me a pizza!”

(My boss and the customer went back and forth a few minutes longer, and eventually the customer leaves in a huff.)

Me: “And THAT is EXACTLY why I don’t set up the dining room until just before we open!”

(I was never again scolded for doing those tasks last!)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5

The Mother (Nature) Of Stupid Complaints

| GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

(I’m a night auditor, and the only staff member on duty. I see that the office phone is being rung from a room that has only just checked in:)

Me: “Front desk. How may I help you?”

Irate Guest: “How dare you rent me this room! There are bugs! Oh, my God! Bugs!”

Me: “I’m so very sorry, ma’am. The exterminator comes regularly to prevent this sort of thing, and we have an excellent housekeeping department, but this being Georgia, and the rooms opening to the outside, sometimes it happens. Would you like to move to a different room, or would you prefer a refund?”

Irate Guest: “Well, a different room won’t do me any good. The bugs are all over the place outside. In the shrubs and around the lights and just everywhere!”

Me: “Wait. You called to complain because there are bugs outdoors?”

Irate Guest: “Yes! I’ve never seen such horrible things in my life!”

Me: “Ma’am, your registration information shows me that you live in Florida. I’ve been to Florida. Y’all have bugs.”

Irate Guest: “I just want a refund.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you a refund based on the fact that you think we should remove bugs from the great outdoors. You can talk to the manager in the morning.”

 

(The guest slammed the phone down. Minutes later, I saw her car speed out of the parking lot. I briefed the owner/manager the following morning. We had a good laugh, and an even better one after guest came back to demand her refund.)

Naked And Unafraid

| Enschede, The Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(We get a lot of ‘dirty’ calls because it is a toll-free number. This one guy is a ‘regular.’)

Me: “Good morning, this is [Company]. [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: *heavy breathing* “So… what colour undies are you wearing?”

Me: “Sir, it’s Monday. On Monday we don’t wear clothes. It’s policy.”

(I disconnect the call, smiling at the man’s stunned silence. One minute late my coworker gets a call. All I hear is:)

Coworker: “Oh, naked sir. It’s Monday after all!”

(He hung up and we had a good laugh about it.)