Popcorn Folorn

| Napa, CA, USA | Right | August 21, 2015

(I am serving popcorn to customers. It’s kind of slow since it’s close to closing. A customer comes up to me and my co-worker:)

Customer: “Hey, don’t you guys have free popcorn after nine?”

Me: “Uh… no.”

Coworker: “Yeah, no.”

Customer: “Oh, I mean after 9:15, and oh, look, it’s 9:15.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “No? D***!” *walks out of the theatre*

Coworker: “What just happened?”

A Tribal Clash

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Right | August 21, 2015

(Our particular store has 13 different rooms.)

Customer: “I’m looking for tribal print clothing, but it can’t be made in China.”

Coworker: “We have tribal print clothing in each of our rooms, and you can tell where they’re made by looking at the tag. Was there a particular color you are looking for so we can narrow down to one or two rooms and go from there?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I just want to look at all of your tribal print clothes.”

Coworker: “So you’d like me to take you to each room, find all of the tribal print clothing, and show you which one’s aren’t made in China?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t feel like walking. I’ll stay here while you collect the clothes.”

(My coworker spent the next two hours going through each room, locating tribal print clothing that wasn’t made in China to show her. She ultimately didn’t buy anything.)

Every Nicholas Spark Book Adaptation Ever

| NJ, USA | Right | August 21, 2015

Customer: “What is the movie with the boy and girl and they fall in love?”

Me: “Uh… that could be literally any movie ever made.”

The Customer Isn’t Always Right?

| Right | August 21, 2015

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The Highs And Lows Of Retail

| Natick, MA, USA | Right | August 21, 2015

(I’m a bag girl and I’m bagging a customer’s groceries. An extremely tall man, like, 6’8″, 6’9″, comes over to me while I’m working.)

Man: “Hey, did you know you’re, like, really short?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I’m 4’11” and, while I’m not terribly sensitive about my height, I can’t believe he actually said this.)

Man: “Well, compared to me, you’re really short.”

Me: “And so is Stevie over there; he’s six feet. You are a rather tall person, sir. Excuse me, please, you’re blocking the bags.”

Man: *suddenly offended* “It’s so rude of you to say something like that about my height. That’s a sensitive topic for tall people.”

(The cashier is trying really hard not to laugh and the customer, who is maybe 5’2″, is staring at the man like she can’t believe this guy is for real.)

Me: “It’s rather sensitive for short people, too, and you really were incredibly impolite about MY height. Please move; I need to bag this order.”

(He stomps off in a huff and I turn to finish bagging the customer’s order.)

Customer: “Do you take tips? You deserve one after handling that man.”

Me: “I’ll take any tip that doesn’t involve drinking more milk so I can grow.”

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