Toying With The Books

| Lithuania | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(We close at 3 pm on Saturdays. There’s a small supermarket next door. It’s Saturday, 2:55 pm. A customer walks in.)

Customer: “Hello, I need some help. A friend invited me over to her house, and she has a small child. She told me not to get him anything, but I really think I should. I think I could get a book or a toy.”

(I proceed to show him some nice children’s books, but he’s awfully indecisive and takes a long time deliberating over each one of them. He also wants it super cheap, but good. It’s now 3:10.)

Customer: “I don’t know. This is so hard! Maybe I should get him a toy instead.”

Me: “Well, a toy is also a good option. I have to warn you, though, that they usually come more expensive than books.”

Customer: “You know what? I think I’ll go to [Supermarket] and look at some toys. If I don’t find what I like, I’ll come back here.”

Me: “If you decided to get a toy, that’s fine, but we’re closing. You won’t be able to come back if you change your mind.”

Customer: “No, I’ll go to the supermarket. I’ll come back later.”

Me: “Sir, we’re closing. In fact, we’ve been closed for 10 minutes already.”

(He appeared not to hear a thing I said and walked out of the store. I closed the store. I left some 10 minutes later, and on my way to the bus stop walked past the front doors. There was the same customer, banging on the locked door, with the CLOSED sign on it and the lights out inside, yelling to be let in!)

One Of The Bugbears Of The Service Industry

| Joplin, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Movies & TV, Pets & Animals

(I am working at a chain movie store. A young couple come in with two large cardboard boxes full of DVDs to sell back to us. I start the buy-back. I check about 10 DVDs for disk quality with no problem but when I open the next one, cockroaches literally explode out of it and all over me. Naturally, I scream, hurl the DVD away, and proceed to shake and twitch for five minutes. Once I get myself together I put the DVDs back in the box and call the customers back up.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I cannot complete your buy-back at this time. I found some cockroaches in one of the cases and don’t feel comfortable working with them. If you’d like to check over them yourselves I’d be glad to look at them when you bring them back.”

Young Woman: “You found what?”

Me: “Cockroaches.”

Young Woman: “Well, they’ve been sitting in a garage for months.”

Me: “If you go through them at home and bring them back I’ll be glad to help you then. But not today.”

Young Woman: “Okay. So, are you going to do the buy-back now?”

Me: “…no.”

Board-ering On Insane

, | WY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a Mexican fast food restaurant and some of our tacos come with a cardboard sleeve to help keep the ingredients from spilling. A customer orders one to try. A few moments later I see my register worker staring in amazement into the lobby. It turns out the customer is taking bites out of his taco AND the cardboard instead of removing it. We watch as he eats the whole sleeve with his taco. A few moments later…)

Customer: “I just wanted to say I loved my burrito but the taco seemed dry.”

Me: *trying to keep a professional face* “I’m sorry about that, sir. Let me make it up to you by making you another for free.”

(My coworkers and I made another taco and made sure no sleeve was on it. He smiled and sat down and ate the taco. We’re still not sure he realized what he did.)

A Lot Of Hot Air Over Very Little Gas

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top, Transportation

(When customers pre-pay for gas with a credit card, but their vehicle won’t take as much as they’ve put on it, the system automatically refunds the remaining portion onto the card that was used. This conversation takes place near the end of a 10-hour shift.)

Customer: *in a not-so-nice tone* “I sent a kid in here earlier to get gas and he only pumped $17, but I was charged for $25. Why was I over-charged?”

Me: *looks at his receipt* “Oh, well, it looks like they pre-paid for gas and it was charged to a credit card. The remaining portion would have been automatically refunded to your card.”

Customer: “I need a receipt showing that it refunded.”

Me: “I am so sorry, sir, but I can only print receipts for the past 10 transactions, and it looks like the kid you sent in got gas well over two hours ago. There isn’t a way for me to pull it up.”

Customer: “Well how the h*** am I supposed to know that it refunded? How do I know you didn’t steal my money?”

Me: “As soon as the nozzle on the pump is hung back up, it refunds automatically. You could actually call your credit company right now, and it would show that the balance is there.”

Customer: “No! I will not call them! I want you to show me proof right now that you didn’t steal my money!”

Me: “As I just said, there is nothing I can do. It’s been several hours since this transaction took place, so I can’t look it up. I assure you, if you would just call…”

Customer: “I need you to write down that I only pumped $17 worth of gas and sign it so I can dispute it when it charges me $25 on my bill!”

Me: “Sir, I have no idea how much gas you pumped, so I will not sign anything saying you only pumped $17. Furthermore, you’ve been yelling at me for over three minutes during a very busy time and I’m the only person here to ring out the 12 people behind you. I’ve told you that all you have to do is call the number on the back of the card to verify that you were only charged for what you pumped, and yet you’re still unsatisfied. The only other thing I can offer is that you call our customer service center and file a complaint. The number, and our store number are posted right beside you, and my name is on your receipt from earlier.”

Customer: *shoves a pen and his receipt in my face* “I’m not leaving until you write a statement about my gas and sign it!”

Me: “If you don’t leave, I will call the police to escort you from the premise.”

(Just then, one of our regulars, who is a police officer and in uniform, walks in. I sigh in relief, but the customer doesn’t notice.)

Customer: “You WILL write down that I only pumped $17. I’m not going anywhere!”

Me: “Hey, [Officer], could you do me a favor?”

Officer: “That depends… What is it?”

(The customer looks over at the officer, back at me, and scrambles out the door.)

Me: “Never mind; he left on his own.”

A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller

| Surrey, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Time

(I receive a phone call about half an hour to close.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “What time are you open ’til?”

Me: “We close in 30 minutes, sir.”

Caller: “No! I don’t want to know when you close! I want to know how long you’ll be open!”

Me: “We’re open for another 30 minutes.”

Caller: “Thanks!” *hangs up*

(I’ve worked here too long.)

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