How To Drive In The Tips

| Kirkland, WA, USA | Right | November 13, 2015

(It is Halloween and I am working the overnight shift at my store. As the manager, I am required to do drive-thru since we are unusually busy as well as short staffed on Halloween night. I have just finished trick-or-treating with my godson and am still in my costume, which I am allowed to wear in place of my usual uniform. It is just after two am, and all the bars are closed, when I have a taxi pull to my window with three drunk men in the back. The cabbie is clearly frustrated and although I have no issues while taking their order, I grow concerned.)

Me: “You’re total is [total].”

(The men in the back start searching their pockets for money and after a minute passes, I start to get frustrated myself. We are slammed and I still have to help my coworker make the food, since it’s only the two of us. The man in the far right seat, furthest from me, finds his wallet and sticks out a bill. I lean out the window, almost climbing into the cab, and take the cash, all while the men are staring down my shirt in a none-too-discreet manner. As I’m cashing out the order, I count out the eighty some dollars in change while listening to them talk about what they’d love to do to me.)

Me: “Here’s your receipt and change. Would you like any ketchup?”

Drunk #1: “No, but I’ll take your number and you can keep the change.”

(I look down at the money and back at him.)

Drunk #2: “Only if you share her.”

(At this point, I’m clearly disgusted with them and I glance at the cabbie, who’s in the worse position of driving them home. Feeling bad, I grab a pen and write the store number on the back of the receipt with a fake name attached.)

Drunk #1: “Thanks, cutie. I’ll call you later.”

(I grab their food and bag an extra medium fry for the cabbie. I grab the money from my pocket and split it in half, shoving one half into the medium fry bag. I hand out their order and make sure the cabbie gets his food. He smiles and thanks me. Thinking nothing more of it, I go back to work. A few hours later, the cabbie comes back through.)

Me: “Hi, your total—” *seeing the cabbie* “Oh, hi! I hope you enjoyed the tip! I didn’t think they were likely to give you anything. They were real jerks.”

Cabbie: “I appreciated the gesture. I really just wanted to come back to give you this.”

(He hands me $150.)

Me: “Are you serious? You really don’t have to do that!”

Cabbie: “And they didn’t have to say the things they said. I just wanted to make sure you received a tip from someone who honestly appreciated your service. Thank you, and have a good rest of your day.”

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Wish You Could Part Ways

| VA, USA | Right | November 13, 2015

Customer: *after complaining how dealers and garages are all out to take your money and burn you* “So you are telling me you cannot fix my car?”

Mechanic: “We can fix your car; we just do not have the parts.”

Customer: “Why do you not have the parts? It is a standard part!”

Mechanic: “We do not carry parts for your vehicle. Your car is [X brand]. We are a [Y dealership] and garage. Our parts are not for your vehicle.”

Customer: “But you are a garage!”

Mechanic: “Yes for [Y vehicles], so we stock only [Y vehicle] parts.”

Customer: “So you do not have my part?”

Mechanic: “No, but we can get it.”

Customer: “If you can get it, why do you not stock it?”

Mechanic: “Because are a [Y dealership] garage. Your car is an [X brand]. If you want the parts to be in stock you need to go to an [X dealership] garage.”

Customer: “But you can get the parts so you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “Look, when the [X dealership] garage opens and the parts stores open, we will make a few calls, find the part, and send a driver out to get it.”

Customer: “If you can get the parts you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “We do not stock parts for cars that are not [Y cars]. We are not a parts store or an [X vehicle] dealer.”

Customer: “So I guess you are going to screw me over and make me wait until other stores open so you can get a part you should have in stock.”

Mechanic: “As soon as we can we will get to work or you can take your car to an [X dealer].”

Customer: “Fix it. OH, and I have a coupon.”

Mechanic: “We cannot accept it.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Mechanic: “Because it is for [Y vehicles] only. See it says right here. “Valid for [Y vehicles].”

Customer: “So you will not stock my parts and you will not accept a coupon!”

Mechanic: “…”

Customer: “So can you fix my car?”

Mechanic: “As soon as we get the part here which may be an hour or two.”

Customer: “You really need to keep my parts in stock!”

Mechanic: “Sir, we are not a… Forget it. Just have a seat; you will be called when it is ready.”

This Prank Is On A Roll

| TX, USA | Right | November 13, 2015

(I am a vet tech at a busy vet clinic. A client comes in with his intact male puppy. After the physical exam, the dog rolls over onto his back in a submissive stance. The owner starts freaking out.)

Owner: “His testicles are rolling up!”

(The vet and I look at each other a bit confused.)

Owner: “The breeder said that the dog’s testicles would go back into his abdomen if he rolled onto his back! I’ve spent the last ten weeks preventing my dog from rolling over!”

(We laughed about this for weeks afterwards.)

Cannot Read Signs

| Right | November 12, 2015

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Growing Up Dorm-al

| USA | Right | November 12, 2015

(I work in a very popular cookie store located on a college campus. Our regular customers include a couple of faculty members who live with their two small children in a dorm on the campus. They host events for the building’s residents as well as teaching classes. One day, the woman comes in with her young son.)

Me: “All right, here’s your total and it’s just going to ask you about tip and receipt.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

Child: “How old do you have to be to work here?”

Manager: “Well, most of the employees are college students, so they’re all older than 18.”

Child: “But I’m a college student! I live in a dorm with my parents and sister!”

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