Taxing Faxing, Part 13

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “Did you get the order I faxed you over?  I haven’t heard back from you.”

Me: “Yes, I did get it and tried to fax you a pro forma back, but it kept ringing out.”

Customer: “Yeah, I always unplug the fax machine after I send a fax.”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 12
Taxing Faxing, Part 11
Taxing Faxing, Part 10

Gonna Spread Her Terror Across The Street

, | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Religion

(I’m a customer waiting in line at a local convenience store. A man and a woman walk in, grab drinks out of the cooler and head for the register to pay. Suddenly, the woman throws the drink on the ground.)

Woman: “Oh, h*** no! I don’t buy nothing from no towelhead, Muslim terrorists!”

(The man behind the register, who is Middle Eastern, says nothing.)

Woman: “You know what? F*** this place. I’m going to [Store across the street] and buy my stuff from Americans!”

(Both of them storm out the door and head across the street. I walk up to the counter.)

Me: “Well, that was interesting.”

Clerk: “They’re not going to like it any better over there.”

Me: “No?”

Clerk: *laughing* “My brother owns that store!”

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Butcher Blocked

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bigotry, Food & Drink, One-Liners

(My wife is an apprentice butcher in a local store who also has an incredibly quick wit and this is the exchange I hear between she and an elderly male customer.)

Customer: “Can I speak to the butcher, please?”

Wife: “Yes, I am the butcher. How may I help you?”

Customer: “No, I wanna speak to a butcher. You’re only a counter girl.”

Wife: “I can assure you, sir. I am a butcher.”

Customer: “Oh. I bet you are one of those women that don’t like men, either.”

Wife: “Actually,  I love males. They go great cut up into steaks and marinated in BBQ sauce.”

(The customer turned and rushed out of the store while the other customers burst out laughing.)

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When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

, | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “One moment, please.”

Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

Directionless Wireless

| Sheffield, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in technical support for an ISP. During a call with a customer the following conversation transpired.)

Customer: “Your router isn’t very good is it? I can only get wireless signal downstairs.”

Me: “Well, it is a very basic router. Is your house fairly old, as in having rather thick walls and ceilings?”

Customer: “That’s right.”

Me: “That would be why. The signal is struggling to get through. You can always look into a more powerful router or a booster, maybe?”

Customer: “But… I don’t understand. I leave the door open so it can get upstairs.”

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