Drive Straight Thru His Lie

| Metairie, LA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work at a restaurant that is always closed on Sundays. Like, it has been every single week since the 1940s when it opened. One Sunday afternoon our restaurant owner is in the parking lot doing some work on our flower beds and someone drives up to the drive-thru speaker:)

Customer: “Hello? HELLOOOOOOO! ANSWER ME! Son of a b****! This is OUTRAGEOUS!”

(The restaurant owner calmly walks over to the customer in the car, and says:)

Owner: “Hello, sir, is everything all right?”

Customer: “NO! I JUST came through the drive-thru and paid over $30 for my meals, and I got ALL THE WAY HOME and realized that they left out my number one meal! I DEMAND that you give me my meal for free AND refund my whole order because my family is waiting on me at home and ALL OF OUR FOOD IS GOING TO BE COLD! I will not pay for this!”

(The store owner, who loves to catch people in a lie, just kept asking more questions.)

Owner: “So you’re telling me you were JUST here?”

Customer: “Yes! And I got all the way home and YOU left my meal out of the bag!”

Owner: “I see. Do you have your receipt? Or your bag with your food? I’d be happy to replace all of your meals for you if you have the receipt.”

Customer: “NO! I left them at home with my other food! Can you get them to hurry up? I need to get back home because my family is waiting on me!”

Owner: “So you’re sure you were JUST here? At THIS restaurant?”

Customer: “YES! God, what is wrong with you people?! I was here like 15 minutes ago, in THIS drive-thru!”

Owner: “Well, sir, I just wanted to let you know I know for a fact that you weren’t here 15 minutes ago getting food.”

Customer: “…what?”

Owner: “See, I’m the owner of this restaurant, and we’ve been closed every single Sunday since we opened. There is no one inside right now, and there hasn’t been anyone inside all day. So there’s no way you got your food here 15 minutes ago, I have your vehicle on our parking lot surveillance, and I want to kindly ask you never to come back to my establishment again!”

(The guy then sped out of the parking lot!)

That Customer Is Trumped By THAT Customer

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(In passing, I have noticed a sale on NERF products in my local store. I and some friends have been planning a NERF based event so I begin to empty the aisle. This takes place at checkout.)

Me: “Uh, ma’am? Shouldn’t these be ‘buy one get one free’?”

Cashier: “No, sir, I believe the sale is ‘buy two get one free.’”

Me: “Hmm… I think I’ll go look again to be sure. Do you mind holding my purchase for me?”

Cashier: “Not at all, sir.”

(I walk back over and sure enough the cashier knew what she was talking about. I walk back dejected at being THAT customer and as I return to line…)

Cashier: “Sir, I can’t accept this. This is for [Unrelated Store].”

Other Customer: “Oh… well, how about this?” *hands her a different card with a movie theater chain’s logo clearly on the front*

Cashier: “No, I can’t take that either.”

(This process repeats two or three more times before the gentleman pays and leaves.)

Me: *as I walk up to the cashier again* “You know, I was just depressed about being THAT customer today. Now? I don’t feel quite so bad.”

Cashier: “At least you can tell what store you’re in.”

To Give Credit Where Credit Is Due, Part 2

| Carmel, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(Part of my job is to offer our store’s loyalty card, which takes the form of a branded credit or debit card, to guests. I have just finished ringing up a guest’s transactions.)

Me: “Have you heard about [Store Debit Card]?”

Guest: “No, that’s okay; I want to avoid credit.”

Me: “No, it isn’t a credit card. It just takes the money out of your checking like debit.”

Guest: “No, I want to avoid credit.”

(I try explaining this a couple more times before giving up. The guest swipes his bank card.)

Guest: “It’s cancel for credit, right?”

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To Give Credit Where Credit Is Due