Put Them In The Hot Seat

| AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I always like to follow up after a trip I have booked for a customer. A couple had booked a plane flight to Florida, a small rental car, and a few nights hotel on the beach.)

Me: “Hi, Mrs. [Name]. This is [My Name] calling from [Travel Agency]. I just wanted to make sure you had a wonderful time on your trip.”

Wife: “You’ll have to speak with my husband. I’m too upset to speak with you.”

Husband: “I can’t believe you have the courage to call, after what you did. I’ve dealt with incompetence before, but you are the worst!”

Me: “I’m so sorry. What happened?”

Husband: “When I booked the flight, I told you that I wanted an aisle seat, and my wife preferred a window seat. You had us backwards on all four flights!”

Me: “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you just swap seats? Or, say something to a flight attendant, who would have told you to just swap seats?”

Husband: “…” *click*

Fish Has Gone To The Dogs

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Spouses & Partners

(I am delivering a large pizza order to a couple that included an extra side of anchovies.)

Me: “Let me hand you the anchovies so they don’t accidentally spill.”

(As I hand them to the woman she makes a face of disgust and hands them to her husband.)

Husband: “I like to pour it out on the kitchen floor and roll around in them.”

Me: “So does my dog.”

(The wife completely loses it and the husband slinks off with his anchovies.)

Double Take Required

| Wausau, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’m rather short, 5’3″, a bit heavy, and have short black hair and dark eyes. My coworker is lean, tall, almost 5’10”, and has red hair and hazel eyes. The only similarity we have is that we both wear glasses. Even on this day I was wear a black uniform top and she was wearing a pink one, in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month. We just switched off so she can go home.  I hop on the register.)

Customer: *coming up to the checkout* “I couldn’t find it. Are you sure it’s there?”

Me: “Um, what are you looking for?”

Customer: *getting angry* “I already told you! Did you really just forget? Honestly!”

Me: “Ma’am, I just started my shift.”

Customer: “No! I just talked to you! You told me where I could find this!” *thrusts a small plastic bag with a jewelry finding in it*

Me: “Oh! Jewelry findings are the first row of jewelry and go straight back to the wall, ma’am.”

Customer: “That’s not what you said before!”

Me: “Ma’am, I just got here.”

Manager: *coming up since she heard the yelling* “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “This cashier is being rude and is lying to me!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry my coworker has told you the wrong section, but she was the one that helped you. I just started.”

Customer: “Right there! Lying!”

Manager: “Actually, she’s right. She did just clock in.”

Customer: “Oh… well… You two just look so much alike!” *storms off*

Manager: “Who did you relieve?”

Me: “[Coworker].”

Manager: “YOU TWO LOOK NOTHING ALIKE! AND SHE’S IN PINK!”

A Culling Of A Cullen

| WI, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Love/Romance

(I work as a waitress at a sit down restaurant near the mall. We’re slowing down for the night and the place is pretty empty. I’m in the middle of cleaning off my table when I overhear this conversation happening between some teens in the corner booth.)

Teen Girl: *to Teen Boy #2* “It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.”

Teen Boy #1: “Yeah, it’s all about the motion of the ocean!”

Ditzy Teen Girl: “It’s all in the sparkle.”

Teen Boy #2: “Wha— I’m not Edward f****** Cullen!”

(I barely made it back to the kitchen before laughing.)

The Mother Of Bad Decisions

| SD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am working at the customer service desk at the grocery store in my town. It’s about three in the afternoon, and I’m an hour into an eight-hour shift. I am alone at the front of the store, when a customer that I do not know comes up to me.)

Me: “Hello. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Hey, I need a babysitter for my kid tonight. Can you come and do it?”

(I’m a little taken aback but give her a smile anyway.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but I am working the closing shift tonight.”

Customer: “Great! Who is supposed to watch my kid tonight? I have very important plans!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s nothing I can do to help you.”

Customer: “Thanks a lot! You just ruined my entire night! Teenagers today are so lazy and worthless!”

(I stare at her open-mouthed as she stomps away. A few minutes later, I see her ask another one of my coworkers, whom politely declines, because she’s also working all night. The customer rushes out of the store cussing, leaving her full cart of groceries behind.)

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