Dishing Out The Cold Truth

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(It’s been snowing steadily all day. Still, customers come to shop for electronics and ask stupid questions.)

Customer: “I bought [Satellite TV Service] here, but I’m having trouble with it. Can you help?”

Me: “I usually handle computer questions, not TV questions, but I can try. What’s going on?”

Customer: “The channels just aren’t coming through right. They’re all pixelated, and they keep cutting out, and sometimes there’s nothing to see or hear at all.”

Me: “That’s not good. When did it start?”

Customer: “This morning.”

Me: “I haven’t heard of any problems from [Satellite TV Provider]. I’m guessing that it has something to do with the snowstorm. The snow could be interfering with your signal, especially if some has accumulated in the dish of your receiver.”

Customer: “Can you check?”

Me: “Can I check what?”

Customer: “Can you get on your computer and check to see if I have snow on my dish?”

Me: “…no, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “The store computers don’t have access to information about whether a person’s satellite dish has snow in it. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, how can I find out?”

Me: “You could try going home and looking at it…”

You Can Do It, Put Your Butt In To It

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Movies & TV, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I work at a call center for a satellite TV company. I am speaking with a male customer who speaks in a slightly feminine voice.)

Customer: “I need credit for this movie I ordered.”

Me: “Was something wrong with the movie, sir?”

Customer: “No. But I didn’t mean to order it. I just sat on my remote and it ordered the movie.”

(I hear a voice in the background similar to the customer’s voice.)

Background Voice: “You always did have a talented butt.”

Acting Bittersweet About The Sweets

| Serbia | Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I was working as a promoter for a [Popular Brand] inside a supermarket telling people that they can buy certain items within the brand for a certain amount of money and then receive a gift at the front. I explain this to one woman.)

Customer: “Do dark chocolates count?”

Me: “Yes, they certainly do.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week.”

Me: “I wasn’t aware of that; I worked in a different store last week, but I assure you, you will receive your gift if you buy the dark chocolates.”

(The woman was still suspicious, so I showed her the list of products that I had in my hand.)

Customer: “What about the one for cooking?”

Me: “Yes, that one counts as well.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week!””

Me: “Again, I know nothing about that.”

(I show her my list again.)

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “I’m not sure. It’s around [price], but if you look over there, just a couple of meters away, you’ll see the exact price.”

Customer: “How do you not know the price? You work here.”

Me: “Actually, I don’t work in the supermarket. I don’t even work for [Popular Brand]. I work for a marketing agency that was hired by the brand. I work in different stores every week and the prices vary.”

Customer: “You know, I’m older and, therefore, wiser, so I’ll forgive you this time, but there are all sorts of idiots out there that are going to make a fuss about something as trivial as this. I would advise you to try and do your job a little better next time. But it’s okay.”

(She kissed me on the cheek, smiled a fake smile, and walked away without the chocolates.)