This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m next in line at a chain arts and crafts store. Everyone who shops here complains about how long the lines always are, and how there are never any employees around, but I think it’s more because there is ALWAYS a difficult customer at the front of the line.)

Customer: “I’d like to do an even exchange, this ribbon for this yarn. I don’t have a receipt for the ribbon.”

Cashier: “Well, we don’t do exchanges without a receipt, but I can do a return on the ribbon and then we can use the money you’ll get back toward the yarn.”

Customer: *death glare at the cashier* “Fine.”

Cashier: “It looks like you’ll get $2.61 back for the ribbon. I’ll just put that toward the yarn if that’s okay?

Customer: “Yes.”

Cashier: “Okay, and the yarn comes out to $2.51. So you’ll actually get a dime back!”

Customer: “WHAT?! I TOLD YOU I WANTED AN EVEN EXCHANGE! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, this is just the price of the yarn. I have nothing to do with it. It’s in your favor. You’re getting money back.”

Customer: “WHY WOULD I WANT MONEY BACK?! I HATE THIS STORE! EVERYONE HERE IS SO INCOMPETENT!”

(Everyone in line stares in confusion as she storms out of the store with the yarn and not the dime. As I’m next in line, the cashier looks at me.)

Cashier: “Well, then. Looks like you get a 10-cent discount on your purchase, miss! I hope that’s okay; I know money’s so darn inconvenient these days!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

Saved His Bacon

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m taking the food to an eight-top table, and everyone gets their food. One customer has ordered a breakfast sandwich on a bagel. The way that we make the sandwiches is by wrapping the meat and cheese in the eggs. It’s basically a folded omelet placed on a bagel. I can tell that the man is a little confused looking at his food, so I wait for him to ask the question.)

Customer: “I ordered bacon. Where is the bacon?”

Me: “The bacon is wrapped up in the eggs, and you will find it as soon as you bite into it.”

(I then go on to ask if there is anything else I can do for the table. For the most part, everyone is fine, and I only have to get a couple of drink refills. However, before I am able to turn around to leave, he asks again:)

Customer: “Where is my bacon? I ordered bacon on my sandwich?!”

Me: *looking at him in the eye* “Sir, it is wrapped up inside the eggs. I promise it is there.”

(I make a quick exit to get the refills and then come back. When I return, I notice that he still has not touched his food, and I am beginning to feel a little annoyed. Unsurprisingly, the first thing he says when I walk in the room is:)

Customer: “I ordered bacon on my sandwich, and there is no bacon on my sandwich.”

(Once again I let him know that the bacon is in fact on the sandwich, and that he can’t see it because it is wrapped up in the eggs. Other people at the table begin to ask me random questions about the restaurant and the area, but in the background, all I can hear is him asking for his bacon. I finally turn to the man, and in a rather harsh voice say:)

Me: “Sir, the bacon is wrapped up in the eggs. Could you please either take a bite of your sandwich or cut it in half to verify that the bacon is there before I leave?”

(The table was completely quiet and was staring at me. He took a bite of the sandwich, and found that there was, in fact, bacon in the eggs!)

That Pizza Was All Greek To Me

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “Hi, my pizza was just delivered and it was entirely incorrect. I just gave it back to the driver and he gave my money back. But I’d like to get my correct pizza.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Well it looks here like you ordered the Greek pizza—”

Customer: “Yeah, but the one I got had tomatoes and black olives, and green peppers, I think…”

Me: “And red sauce and onions and feta cheese?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the Greek pizza. You got exactly what you ordered.”

Customer: “What? Well my friend just ordered from you last week and he said he got the Greek, but it was different. It had gyro meat on it and it got served with tzatziki sauce.”

Me: “Oh, your friend must have ordered our Santorini pizza. I can go ahead and change your order here and send you the right one. It costs the same price.”

Customer: “Uh… that’s it? I don’t get a discount or anything?”

Me: “Well… no. I mean… it’s your friend’s fault that he told you the wrong pizza. But you got exactly what you told us you wanted. We don’t give discounts for people who neglect to read our menu before ordering.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. That’s fair, I guess.”