Mail Order Disorder

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I live in an apartment complex that mainly serves as a home for elderly and handicapped residents. One afternoon, I am expecting a check to come in the mail, and I need to cash it before the bank down the street closes at 4 pm. The mail lady doesn’t arrive until 3:45. There is a crowd of people waiting for their mail, and we are all watching her load the 50-or-so mailboxes in anticipation. As soon as she put my mail into my mailbox, I approached it to grab the check, since it was almost 3:50.)

Mail Lady: “I’m so sorry, but for policy reasons at this complex, you’re going to have to wait until I finish with all of the mail. I’m not allowed to let people grab their mail until it’s all in.”

Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had to wait for everyone’s mail to be put into their individual mailboxes. I just really need to get my check, but I’ll wait.”

Mail Lady: *very friendly and understanding* “No worries. It’s all right. Most people at this complex make that mistake at least once, and try to get their mail before I’m finished. I’ll try to finish up as quick as I can so you can get your check.”

Me: “Okay. Thanks!”

(I walked back to the group of waiting people. Suddenly, one of the old ladies behind me tapped me hard on the shoulder. Very hard. I turned around to look at her.)

Old Lady: *angry tone* “Hey! She said you can’t have your mail yet!”

Me: “Oh, I understand. I didn’t realize I had to wait until it was all in. That’s why I came back to the group here to wait.”

Old Lady: *becoming even more angry* “Don’t you talk back to me! You need to wait your turn!”

Me: “But… I AM waiting. I’m standing right here with everyone else, waiting.”

Old Lady: *almost screaming at me* “A brat is what you are! You NEED to WAIT YOUR TURN!”

Me: “Oh, for the love of god, I AM WAITING! I just made a small mistake. But I’m waiting now. Leave me alone.”

(At this point, I turned and looked away from her, figuring I’d ignore her.)

Old Lady: *almost going into a panic* “You shouldn’t get your mail because you won’t wait your turn! JUST WAIT WITH THE REST OF US!”

(She continues ranting about how I ‘don’t deserve’ my mail, how ‘rude’ and ‘thoughtless’ I am, etc. Finally, the mail-lady turned and looked at her.)

Mail Lady: “Ma’am. Shut your d*** mouth and leave the poor guy alone! He didn’t do anything wrong, and he’s already CLEARLY waiting! If you don’t stop, I won’t give you your mail! You’re just a rude old bat, aren’t you?!”

(The lady finally took the hint and left me alone. Thanks for dealing with her for me, mail lady!)

I-Scream For Someone To Listen

, | Dublin, Ireland | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I am a customer in this story. I’m queuing for ice cream at a mini fast-food stand in a well-known flat-pack furniture shop. Ahead of me is a father and mother with two children, an older girl around 10 years old and a younger boy. The system is that you buy tokens and cones from a cashier, and then put the tokens in an ice cream machine to make your own soft-serve in the cones.)

Cashier: “These cones are smaller than our usual ones. You have to wrap a napkin around them so the machine registers them. Okay?”

Father: “Yeah, yeah.” *hands the stuff to his wife and she takes the kids to the ice-cream machine while he gets their furniture*

Me: “One ice cream, please.”

Cashier: “Sure.”

(The cashier hands me my change, my token, and the cone, and repeats the information about the small cones and to be sure to use the napkin.)

Me: “Okay, thank you!”

(I follow the mother and children to the ice cream machine.)

Mother: *repeatedly trying to use the machine* “What is wrong with this stupid machine?”

Little Girl: “You have to wrap the napkin around the cone, mammy.”

Mother: *ignoring child* “[Father], the machine isn’t working!”

Father: *coming over* “Let me try.”

Little Girl: “You put the napkin around the cone, daddy.”

Father: *also ignoring child* “Piece of crap machine.”

Little Girl: “Daddy, you have to put the napkin around the cone!”

Father: *raising his voice, sarcastic* “I heard you the first time! Thank you for your input!”

Mother: “Forget it.”

(The father takes the tokens and cones back to get a refund, while the kids’ faces fall. The mother turns to me.)

Mother: “The machine is broken. Don’t bother.”

Me: “Are you sure? The–”

Mother: “You’re seeing me walk away, aren’t you?”

(The mother grabs the disappointed kids and stalks off to wait for the father. I step up, wrap the napkin around the cone, pop the token in the machine, and voila! Ice cream! I take the ice cream and go look for my own parents, and immediately walk past the waiting mother and children.)

Little Boy: “Look, mammy. Why did hers work?”

(Feeling bad for the kids, I walk off quickly so they don’t have to watch me eat my ice cream. I find my own parents, and we go to our car with our new furniture. As we’re walking, another car screeches out in front of us rudely and dangerously, and drives past: it’s the same family, and the smart, ignored little girl and the disappointed little boy both look out the window to see me still eating the delicious ice cream. Wherever you are, little girl, I hope your parents’ total lack of listening skills aren’t getting you down. You were right!)

No Room To Listen

| NS, Canada | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month

(I work for an office supply company and we have a points system for customers, like a lot of places do. You reach so many points, you get a couple bucks off your next purchase.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] points. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’ll give you my points number” *reads it off*

Me: “Okay, thank you. I have the name coming up as [Caller]?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, what can I do for you?”

Caller: “Every time I book a room with you people I always get a bad price! My coworkers always get a discount!”

Me: “Excuse me, what? D-did you need to place an order? Do you have a question about your loyalty points?”

Caller: “NO! What is the best price you can give me for a room! My coworkers always get a good price! I’m going away in a few weeks. I need a good price! You people rip me off!”

Me: “Are you referring to a hotel room? This isn’t a hotel chain, ma’am, this is [Company].”

Caller: “Aren’t you listening? No! I need a room! What is the best price you can give me?”

Me: “Ma’am… you are calling [Company]. You just told me your points number for this company. We are not a hotel. We sell office supplies.”

Caller: “No, this is the [Hotel Chain]!”

Me: “No… it isn’t.”

Caller: “It isn’t?”

Me: “No…”

Caller: “Oh…” *click*

Lawless And Clueless

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(I work as a receptionist at a retirement home.)

Resident #1: “I want you to call the police right away.”

Me: “Um. May I ask why?”

Resident #1: “I called for a taxi and it still isn’t here. I want the police to arrest the driver.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry about your wait but I don’t think the police should be involved with something like that.”

Resident #1: “I don’t care. I’m a very important person. I have connections. Call the police.”

Me: “Why don’t I call the taxi company to see where it is? I mean, it’s not like the driver can break traffic laws just to pick you up.”

Resident #1: “I am above the law. With one word I can get this whole company shut down. I can—”

Resident #2: *slowly walks up to desk with walker* “Is that your taxi outside?”

Resident #1: “Ah, yes. Goodbye.”

Resident #2: *waits until the first resident leaves* “What a b****.”

When The Cat’s Away The Pranks Come Out To Play

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(It’s a very slow day so I decide to take one of our cats out of her cage and hold her. She’s slung herself over my shoulder when a guy walks in.)

Me: “Hello. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: *staring at the cat* “Holy s***! Is that thing real?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Nope. It’s a new animatronic model from Google. We’re testing them in stores to eventually give people an option for a pet without the mess!”

Customer: “That’s so awesome!! I have to tell my friends!”

(He ran out the store before I could tell him I was joking.)

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