God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others

| Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids

(I’m a manager at a technology store and a lesbian. There are two men holding hands and giving each other little kisses every now and then, a woman who is trying her hardest not to look at them, and a mother and her five- or six-year-old daughter, all waiting in line. The two men get to the register.)

Man #1: “Hi, we were wondering if you do wedding registry here?”

Me: “No, sorry, we don’t. But my wife and I found when we were doing our wedding registry stuff that if you find a shop that doesn’t do a registry, just write down the SKU numbers so people can come in and—”

Woman: “Come on, none of us have time to be dealing with your little gay pride bulls***! None of you should be getting married anyway. It’s a sin!”

(I start to open my mouth, but the little girl stomps her foot and gives the woman the meanest look I have ever seen.)

Little Girl: “That’s not nice! You say you’re sorry, right now!”

(The woman is taken aback, but is not done with her rant.)

Woman: “I will not apologize to sinners! What they are doing is wrong! God hates people like—”

Little Girl: “No! Girls can like girls and boys can like boys. If God wanted boys and girls only to like each other then he would have made them only like each other! And don’t you know God loves everyone, even boys who like boys?!”

(The woman and the little girl look at each other for a good 10 seconds until the woman drops her items on the floor and storms out. The mother, the gay couple, and I are all speechless. Like a total boss the little girl takes the expensive robotic toy from her mother and walks to the counter.)

Little Girl: “I want this, please!”

Man #2: “My soon to be husband and I would like to pay for that.”

Me: “And wouldn’t you know it, we give 50% discounts to amazing little girls here!”

No ID, No Idea, Part 16

| Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I’m working register as my shift starts when a teenaged couple walks in. The guy walks up, girl in tow.)

Customer: “I’d like some cigarettes, please.”

Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”

Customer: “SERIOUSLY?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. State law, all that.”

Customer: “Do I look like I’m under 18?”

Me: “Well, you look under 30, and that’s really what we go by.”

Customer: “Ugh, FINE. I’ll go out to the car and grab it. What a waste of time.”

(He leaves to go grab his ID out of the car. His girlfriend looks rather embarrassed. He storms back in, and slams his ID on the counter.)

Customer: “There. Can I buy my f****** smokes now?”

(I check his ID. It’s legit.)

Me: “Sir, you turned 18 three days ago.”

Customer: “Well, duh, I know that.”

Me: “My point is, you’re going to be asked for ID for a long time, so, you might wanna be ready for that.”

Customer: “But I’m 18! Why would people ask me for my ID now?”

Me: “Because it’s the law… Can I give you another tip, sir?”

Customer: *sighs* “What?”

Me: “If you don’t want to be carded for age-restricted purchases, you probably shouldn’t be wearing your high-school letterman jacket around. Doesn’t help your case.”

(He looks down at himself and verifies that he is, indeed, gaudily labeled as a high school student. His girlfriend giggles. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts.)

Customer: “Oh… well, okay. Thanks for the advice. Can I get some smokes, now?”

Me: “Certainly.”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 15
No ID, No Idea, Part 14
No ID, No Idea, Part 13

The Coupon Situation Is Fluid

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I overhear a woman complaining down the phone:)

Woman: “I ATE AT [FAST FOOD PLACE] LAST NIGHT, AND I GOT SO SICK, I HAD DIARRHEA!”

(There is a pause, with the other line presumably apologizing profusely.)

Woman: “Can I get some coupons?”