Reading The Smoke Signal Loud And Clear

| Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

(I’m working third-shift in a quiet part of town, when a car pulls up, a man steps out, walks in, and comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “Pack of Marlboro Reds.”

Me: “Sure thing. May I see your ID?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Your ID. I need to see it before I can sell you cigarettes.”

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?”

Me: “…no, sir. I need to see ID before I can sell you cigarettes.”

Customer: “Look, I know this is a s***ty little town, but in a real city like Cleveland, they don’t ask people older than 18 for ID for just cigarettes.”

Me: “Sir, I doubt that. I’m abiding by state law, and that applies in Cleveland, too.”

Customer: “Just give me the smokes!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t do that without ID.”

Customer: “You know what? You’re just some dumba** kid who works a s***ty job, and you’ll never amount to anything because you live in this piece of s*** town. If you had a real job or weren’t a total loser, you wouldn’t be such a piece of s*** about this. You won’t ever be anything in life, you f***.”

Me: “That might be true, but, you know what I can do that you can’t?”

Customer: “WHAT?”

(I turn, grab a pack of my brand of cigarettes off the shelf, scan them, pull out my wallet, swipe my card, grab my receipt, open the pack, and slide a cigarette behind my ear, before pocketing the smokes and receipt.)

Me: “I can buy cigarettes here.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(He turns and storms out.)

Me: “Have a great mornin’!”

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October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!

Not Always Right | Announcements, Theme Of The Month
Introducing October’s Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!

Entering is easy:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about this month’s theme: Coupon Complications. Share a story about coupons making the transaction harder, not easier!
  2. At the end of the month, we’ll feature our favorite Theme Of The Month stories in a roundup!

Following Blind Orders

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in internal computer support. One afternoon I get a call from an older gentleman.)

Me: “[Company] help desk. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Make the information available. Do it.”

Me: “What information do you need?”

Caller: “Just do it!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I need a little more context here. What are you calling about?”

Caller: “The email said to call you and make the information available so I am calling you!”

Me: “The information about what? What email are you referring to? What is the topic?”

Caller: “I have no idea. I was just following orders!” *hangs up*

An Attention Deficit Disorder

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(A patron grabs a pair of our headphones, puts them in her purse, and starts walking away.)

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t take our headphones away from the computer area.”

Patron: “Oh. I didn’t think you were paying attention, so I just took them. Is that okay?”

Me: “…no. No, it isn’t.”

Enough To Make You Cry

| QC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a hotel restaurant. A group of clients have been notoriously difficult, sending back dishes more than once for small details. On a particularly busy night, a waiter walks back into the kitchen and asks about a meal.)

Waiter: “Does this dish contain onions? The client says he’s deadly allergic.”

(Hearing this, the chef panics and asks the waiter to bring him to the client.)

Chef: “Sir, are you all right? Do you have any medicine for your allergy? I’ll call the ambulance right away!”

(The client is confused and worried.)

Client: “What? No, I don’t have medicine. Why?”

Chef: “You told the waiter you were deadly allergic to onions. You should have mentioned it earlier. There were some in the soup.”

Client: “…oh. I just don’t like onions.”

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