Just Called To Say I Called

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(My coworker has been on the phone for about five minutes before handing it to me.)

Coworker: *on the phone* “Can you hold on just one second?” *to me* “Hey, can you deal with this?”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello!”

Me: “…hello.”

Customer: “How are you doing?”

Me: “I’m doing well. How are you?”

Customer: “Good, thanks for asking. So what are you up to?”

Me: “You know, just working.”

Customer: “Good, good.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s kind of busy right now, so I better get back to it.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t let me keep you. Have a good day!”

Me: “Thanks, you too.”

Coworker: “So was it just me or was that weird?”

Me: “No, no, that was very weird.”

Doesn’t Prank Very Highly With Him

| GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(I am working the graveyard security shift when the phone rings.)

Me: “[Company] guard shack. This is [My Name].”

Caller: “Hey, I just wanted to make sure your refrigerator was running.”

Me: “Already caught it running down Oregon Road. Is there something I can help you with?”

(He apparently places his hand badly over the speaker because I can still hear him.)

Caller: *to someone else* “Dude, it didn’t work. Got another?”

Other Person: “Try the Prince Albert one!”

Me: “I’ll stop you two right there; I’ve got Prince Albert in a can, Queen Elizabeth in a box, and the Duke of Earl in a bar with Tom, Dick, and Harry. Unless you have actual business with me, you can just hang up now before I trace this call and put your a** in the grass.”

(*click*)

The Paint Is In Aisle Five; Prepare To Die

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(My 20-year-old son goes to a craft store with me. He has long hair, pulled back in a ponytail, slightly ratty jeans, and an oversized t-shirt with a small name-tag which says ‘hello my name is Inigo Montoya.’)

Random Customer: *approaches my son* “Where are the buttons?”

(My son turns at looks at me, with a ‘help me’ expression. I walk over.)

Me: “The buttons are over that way.”

(My son and I look at each other and laugh. We then go to a second craft store.)

Other Random Customer: *approaches my son* “Where is the paint?”

(Again I was able to point the woman in the right direction. My son vowed never again to shop while wearing that shirt.)