The Cards Are Stacked Against You

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m 13 or 14, and I’m working at my lacrosse team’s bake sale.)

Customer: “Hi. Can I have a brownie?”

Me: “Yes, thank you. That will be a dollar.”

Customer: “Do you take credit cards?”

(Moment of silence.)

Me: “No… we don’t.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a bake sale.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

Me: “I don’t—”

(My teammate walks over.)

Teammate: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Customer: “She says you don’t accept credit cards. Is that true? Are you the manager?”

Teammate: “Yes, I am. We’re getting a slot in half an hour. Thank you for your time.”

(The customer walks away, mumbling about insolent businesses.)

Me: “Well… that was odd.”

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 2

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(We have discount five pm shows during the week, and one pm shows on weekends. People often show up at five pm on weekends wanting a discount, but most are suitably good-natured on finding out that they were using the wrong day’s newspaper to get their information. A customer comes in dropping off his teenage son.)

Customer: “One, please.”

Me: “That’ll be [full price amount].”

Customer: “No, I only want one.”

Me: “I know. It’s full price.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t. It’s discounted. The newspaper says so.”

Me: “Our weekend schedules are different. You’re using a paper from another day. I’m sorry. I know it’s inconvenient and a lot of people make that mistake, but it is full price.”

Customer: *getting belligerent* “No. It is discounted and I will not pay full price.”

Me: “I really am sorry, but as I said, a lot of people make this mistake. I can’t give you the discounted price.”

Customer: “I’m going to go get the newspaper from my car and show you and you’ll have to give me a refund.”

(The customer pays full price for his son, who scampers inside, as several dozen pairs of eyes wait to see what will happen. Many of them have paid full price and will no doubt want refunds, too, if I give this customer one. Then, about a minute later, he reappears with a paper.)

Customer: *arrogantly and rudely* “Why don’t you tell me what it says right here?”

Me: *reading from newspaper* “That says 5:00 at the discounted price.”

Customer: *beaming*

Me: “Now why don’t you tell me what it says right here?”

Customer: *reading from paper* “Showtimes listed are for today… only.”

(At that point he turned and walked off, without so much as a good bye to his son. I think the son at least enjoyed the movie.)

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount

Only One Left

| Sweden | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I am an optometrist, selling glasses and contact lenses. A customer calls me up to ask about some contact lenses I sent to him in the mail.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m just calling to ask you which of the lenses is for which eye!”

Me: “I’m sorry! I am usually so careful about these things. I can’t believe I forgot to mark them.”

Customer: “Yeah, it says ‘right’ on one of the boxes, but what about the other one?”

Me: “Uh, then the other one would be for your left eye.”

Customer: “Great, thanks!” *hangs up*

A Dragon Cannot Be Killed By Fire Or Bad Parenting

| Sandusky, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work at a popular amusement park. A family with children comes in with their children. There are two boys and two girls in a toy gift store.)

Mother: “Okay, you guys can pick one toy each!”

(The one daughter picks a very pink and fluffy stuffed animal, while the boys pick a toy bow and arrow. The youngest girl picks a stuffed dragon.)

Me: “Oh, cool, a dragon!”

Little Girl: *holds up dragon* “Raawwwr!”

Me: “Oh, scary!”

Mother: *pulls dragon out of her hands* “Oh no, sweetheart! Dragons are not for sweet little girls!”

(The mother then shows the little girl a more girly toy and everything pink. Next the little girl picks up a green dog.)

Mother: “No! Little girls like pink! If you don’t get anything pink or girly you can’t get anything at all.”

(The little girl starts crying and then the mother pays for the toys of her other siblings.)

Mother: *to me* “One of these days she will learn her place. Only gay girls like those kind of toys she picked out. I am trying to get her more girly and into pink so she can be straight.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Off Track Call Back

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work in a call center where the supervisor department closes at 11pm. It is now 10:30pm.)

Customer: *explanation of lengthy issue that I cannot fix*

Me: “All right. In order to take care of this issue, I will need to go ahead and transfer your call over to my supervisors, and they will assist you further.”

Customer: “NO! I will NOT be transferred! You have to fix this for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I do not have the ability in my system to fix this for you. My supervisors will be more than happy to take care of this for you, though, so let me just transfer you—”

Customer: “NO! NO TRANSFERS! FIX IT! I’m not hanging up until you fix it for me!”

(This goes back and forth for almost 45 minutes, with me continuously telling her I cannot fix it for her, and her demanding that I do.)

Customer: “FINE! Just transfer me already!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our supervisor department closed 15 minutes ago. I can have one of them call you back tomorrow.”

Customer: “WHAT?! You purposefully kept me on the phone after they closed! You just didn’t want me to talk to them! I’m going to call my lawyer about this!” *slams phone down*

Coworker: “Wow… Guess that’s a callback, then.”

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