You Can Do It, Put Your Butt In To It

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Movies & TV, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I work at a call center for a satellite TV company. I am speaking with a male customer who speaks in a slightly feminine voice.)

Customer: “I need credit for this movie I ordered.”

Me: “Was something wrong with the movie, sir?”

Customer: “No. But I didn’t mean to order it. I just sat on my remote and it ordered the movie.”

(I hear a voice in the background similar to the customer’s voice.)

Background Voice: “You always did have a talented butt.”

Acting Bittersweet About The Sweets

| Serbia | Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I was working as a promoter for a [Popular Brand] inside a supermarket telling people that they can buy certain items within the brand for a certain amount of money and then receive a gift at the front. I explain this to one woman.)

Customer: “Do dark chocolates count?”

Me: “Yes, they certainly do.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week.”

Me: “I wasn’t aware of that; I worked in a different store last week, but I assure you, you will receive your gift if you buy the dark chocolates.”

(The woman was still suspicious, so I showed her the list of products that I had in my hand.)

Customer: “What about the one for cooking?”

Me: “Yes, that one counts as well.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week!””

Me: “Again, I know nothing about that.”

(I show her my list again.)

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “I’m not sure. It’s around [price], but if you look over there, just a couple of meters away, you’ll see the exact price.”

Customer: “How do you not know the price? You work here.”

Me: “Actually, I don’t work in the supermarket. I don’t even work for [Popular Brand]. I work for a marketing agency that was hired by the brand. I work in different stores every week and the prices vary.”

Customer: “You know, I’m older and, therefore, wiser, so I’ll forgive you this time, but there are all sorts of idiots out there that are going to make a fuss about something as trivial as this. I would advise you to try and do your job a little better next time. But it’s okay.”

(She kissed me on the cheek, smiled a fake smile, and walked away without the chocolates.)

Not Showing Growth As A Person

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am a male with long hair. Sometimes when I feel like being a smart-a**, most of the time really, I end up having this conversation with other long haired men, in this case being a worker at a retail place. People tend to respond the same way, so it usually plays out the same way.)

Me: “That long hair makes you look like a girl.”

(The clerks features rapidly shift to annoyance, then confusion when they see my long hair, then anger.)

Clerk: “Well, YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl, too!”

Me: “No. No, it doesn’t. You see *points* I have a beard. So, my long hair makes me look look a dumba**. YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl.”

Clerk: *stunned*

Me: “Why don’t you have a beard?”