Too Early To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

, | VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

(I have just gotten off my job, working retail at a clothing store. I stop by a popular, well-known fast food restaurant for dinner. The drive-thru is backed up, and there are several police officers mulling around. Despite this, I’m still hungry, so I go inside and order my food.)

Me: “So, what’s going on here anyway?”

Cashier: “This customer won’t move her car away from the pay window in the drive-thru.”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “We’re having a promotion where you can get a free coffee during breakfast hours. But it’s 11 pm. She shows up and wants her free coffee, and we tell her it’s only for the mornings, and she refuses to move. So we called the cops. I guess they’ll tow her.”

Me: “Wow, all that fuss over a free coffee? That’s pretty sad. I understand crazy customers, I work at [Clothing Shop].”

Cashier: “Honey, until you’ve worked at [Fast Food Place], you ain’t seen s***!”

Living In Her Own Pizza Pie In The Sky

| UT, USA | Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take out or delivery?”

Customer: “Hi. Um, can I get a large pizza with pepperoni, sausage, olives—”

Me: “Yes. I just need to know if you will be coming to pick this up, or if you would like to have it delivered?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(The customer proceeds to order food without telling me if it’s for take-out or delivery which is info that we need to take the order. To make things worse just at that moment my computer freezes making it impossible to take an order.)

Customer: “… and I would also like to add a salad on to that order—”

(The customer continues to order food at light speed as I try to interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, I need you to hold on for a second.”

(The customer is completely oblivious to everything I’m saying, and continues to order.)

Me: “Miss, I need you to hang on for just a second. My computer froze and I am unable to take your order for a moment.”

Customer: ” Okay, I think that’s everything. How much will the total be?”

(I am completely dumbfounded by this woman.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I have to put you on hold. Hang on for one moment.”

(I put the woman on hold and notify my manager that one of the computers has frozen. I proceed to take the order on another computer but when I take the phone off hold I find that the customer has hung up. 15 seconds or so pass and the phone rings again. This time my coworker answers the call.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take-out or delivery?”

Customer: “Hi. Yes. Um, I just called in and your phone person hung up on me. We had the order paid for and everything.”

(Never in my life have I dealt with a more oblivious person.)

Not Listening Is An Occupational Hazard

| Kelowna, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(When a customer comes in to do a money transfer, I have to get a piece of ID and ask them two questions.)

Me: “I just have a couple of questions before I can pay you out your money.”

Customer: “Okay, sure.”

Me: “What country were you born in?”

Customer: “Canada.”

Me: “Okay, and what is your occupation?”

Customer: “White.”

Me: “White?”

Customer: *very firmly* “Yes, white.”

Me: “Okay… So, your occupation is white?”

Customer: “Yes.” *thinks for a moment* “Oh, wait. What’s occupation mean again?”

Me: “What do you do for work.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought you meant what color I am! I work in construction!”

A Sizeable Lack Of Information

| Gaithersburg, MD, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(On a slow evening, a customer comes in and immediately approaches me at the counter.)

Me: “How are you this evening, ma’am? Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “I’m looking for sweater for my daughter.”

Me: “Okay. What size is she in? And is the sweater for any particular occasion?”

Customer: “Well, she’s petite and slim. Really small for her age.”

Me: “Well, what size shirt does she wear?”

(It’s really hard to sell to a customer when you don’t know what they are shopping for.)

Customer: “She’s petite and small.”

Me: “Well, how old is she?”

Customer: “She is small for her age.”

Me: “I understand that, but if I don’t know what size she is in, I can’t show you what I have available in that size.”

Customer: “She is slender and petite.”

(Giving up, I show her the only sweater I have in stock for girls.)

Me: “Okay. I have this one here. It’s great for the spring time and can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. The biggest it comes in is a 5T.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too small.  She’s a size eight.”

(The customer left the store telling me I should’ve known what size she was looking for.)

Will Have To Wait For The Correct Answer

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I have just finished at the doctor’s office and talk my mom into taking me to get some coffee. We decide to go through the drive-thru as I need to get back to school and her to work. She is driving and I’m riding shotgun.)

Cashier: “What can I get for you today?”

Mom: “Two coffees, please.”

Cashier: “That’ll be [total]. Please pull around to the window.”

(As there is a long line, it takes about 10 minutes before we finally get to the window.)

Cashier: “Sorry about the wait.”

Mom: “Oh, I’m doing fine. How about you?”

(At this, the cashier gets a deer-in-the-headlights look as he does not know how to respond to this break in the conversational cycle. I, however, am cracking up.)

Mom: *looks at the cashier and then at me* “What’s so funny?”

Me: “Mom, he said sorry about the wait.”

Mom: “Oh! I thought he said ‘how are you.'” *turns to the cashier* “I’m sorry. You can laugh at me if you want…”

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