All Smoke, No Mirrors

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(A guest I checked in less than two hours ago is walking up to the front desk with all her luggage, ready to leave.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Guest: “I want to check out!”

Me: “Is everything all right? I see you are checking out early.”

Guest: “I don’t want to talk about it; I want a receipt stating that I have a zero balance.”

Me: “All right, one moment. Let me get your receipt out of the back. My printer is down.”

(I come back a few seconds later with her receipt.)

Me: “Are you sure everything is all right? You seem upset and I don’t want you leaving upset.”

Guest: “Yes, actually, you can tell your people I do not appreciate them recording me while I am sleeping!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Guest: “There was a little red light flashing above my bed!”

Me: “Oh! You mean the smoke detector. That isn’t a recording device.”

Guest: “You don’t think I know the difference between a smoke detector and a recording device?! I know that if there is a blinking red that means the camera is on and recording! So please delete any footage you have of me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am really sorry. I promise you we do not have recording devices in our guests rooms. It honestly was a smoke detector.”

Guest: “IT WAS NOT A SMOKE DETECTOR!”

Not Promoting Decent Behavior

, | TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am working the front at a fast food restaurant. I am ringing up two ladies (mother and daughter) up. They are regulars.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Daughter: “Hi, I have this coupon: buy one get one free breakfast sandwiches.”

Me: “All right, which sandwiches would you like?”

(They order two sandwiches, one more expensive than the other. I promo the more expensive one off.)

Daughter: *to mother* “Haha, she only charged us $1.69!”

Mother: *mockingly* “Smart employees!” *snorts*

Me: “I did it to be nice, but I’m definitely not doing it for you again.”

The Customer Is Damaged

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(I notice that a customer has been hovering in the back corner of my store for a while, so I go see if she needs any help.)

Me: “Hi there! Can I help you at all today?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I… Uh… Found this handbag. It’s… damaged and I want a… discount on it. It’s torn in this corner here… One moment…”

(As she is saying this, I see her trying to forcibly tear a corner of the handbag, which otherwise has no damage. It is already heavily reduced to 80% off, as it’s on clearance, and does not cost much at all. She is forcibly trying to tear it right in front of me with as much force as she can muster.)

Me: *snatches the bag from her* “Well, ma’am, if you forcibly tug on it, it will break, and there won’t be a further discount, and you will have to buy it. People who deliberately break stock are also not welcome back, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Oh… Oh, well, then… Never mind.”

(She slowly and sadly walked out of the store, as if to see if I would change my mind and let her break it and give her a discount. I didn’t. I, thankfully, never saw her again.)