No Button To Get Out Of This One

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m in an arts and crafts store where they wear white polos and green aprons, wearing my light blue local theme park uniform. I’m approached by a foreign customer.)

Customer: *heavy Indian accent* “Can you show me where the buttons?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I don’t work—”

Customer: “BUTTONS. Can you show me where the buttons?!”

Me: “I could grab an employee.”

Customer: *stares at me expectantly*

Me: “Uhhm. Right this way.”

(I proceed to show him where I was pretty sure the buttons were. He thanks me and I walk off. Figure it was easier than the truth!)

Needs More Self-Help Than Self-Checkout

| Tucson, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(I’m a customer at the grocery store using the self-check out. Another customer and his wife approach the self-check out when the husband suddenly stops and turns to his wife.)

Customer: “I’m not using self-check out! Those machines are smarter than I am!”

I Am (Not) Sick Of All The Attention

| UK | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body

(I work in the accident and emergency department of a hospital. It’s a Friday night, and Girl #1 has just come in with anaphylaxis. I am with Girl #2 at this point, who came in via ambulance.)

Girl #2: “My friend [Girl #1] is here at the moment, and everyone was fussing over her so much! She’s fine, right?”

Me: “I wouldn’t know; I haven’t seen her.”

Girl #2: “I know she’s fine. Everyone is making such a big deal out of this. That’s why I called the ambulance. She can’t get all the attention to herself!”

Me: *confused* “Wait, what? So there’s nothing wrong with you? Why are you here?”

Girl #2: “But can you make it sound like I’m really ill? I need to be able to trump her!”