Tiring Of Your Tire-ing

| NC, USA | Right | September 1, 2015

(I used to run an auto repair garage and got calls like this all the time:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [My Shop]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need a price on a set of tires.”

Me: “Sure. What size?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “No problem. What kind of car do you have?”

Caller: “I don’t know. It’s silver though.”

Me: “I’m going to need some vehicle information to price you a set of tires. Would you like to look at your car and call me back in a few mins?”

Caller: “Just give me an estimate. It doesn’t have to be exact.”

Me: “I really need to know what kind of car you drive. There are over 1700 individual tires on the market today. There’s no way I can give you a quote without knowing what you drive.”

Caller: “Just give me an estimate. I’m calling some other places to get quotes, too.”

Me: *end of my patience* “Okay, if you have a Geo Metro, figure around $300. If you have a Freightliner, about $10,000.”

Caller: “Okay, thank you.”

Rage Against The Rage Against The Machine

| TX, USA | Right | September 1, 2015

(I’m one of the customers in this story and am shopping at a well-know Texan gas station after work. In addition to walking in to prepay for my gas, I also pick up a snack item and an ICEE for me to eat on my back home. However, as I walking to one of the three or four ICEE machines I hear:)

ICEE Machine: “Please place the lid on your cup before dispensing your ICEE. Please place the lid on your cup before dispensing your ICEE.”

(This causes me to take a step back and blink before laughing, knowing some fool must have made a mess before. However, I do as the machine instructs and head over to the cashier, still shaking my head.)

Cashier: *scanning my items* “Is this going to be everything?”

Me: “Actually, I need [amount] on [pump].”

(The cashier brings up my car to make sure I have the right number. Before I can continue we hear another customer at the ICEE machine.)

Other Customer: “F***! Your machine is broken! It sprayed this s*** all over me!”

(He comes around the corner, wearing his ICEE and holding – you guessed it – the cup without the lid on it. I let the cashier fix the idiot’s problem, but then hear:)

Customer: “You should put a fucking out-of-order sign on that they all spray -” *he notices I have an ICEE cup that’s filled to the top of the lid* “Which machine did you get that from?!”

(I point to the one I used.)

Customer: “THAT’S THE ONE I USED! ALL IT DID WAS SPRAY AND DUMP IT ALL OVER THE SIDE OF MY CUP!”

(At this point I had enough of his stupidity and decide to shut him up with showing him up. I walk over to the machine. It, like last time, gave out the direction to put the lid on before dispensing.)

Me: *mockingly* “Oh, ‘Please place the lid on your cup before dispensing your ICEE.’ Gee, I guess I should do that; no telling what could happen if I don’t.”

(I look back and dispense a color ICEE that matches the mess that was left on the cup he’s now tossed without a problem.)

Me: “Wow! That was so nice and easy, and I don’t have any mess on me!”

(At this point the customer is now cherry red and stammering.)

Other Customer: “Uhhh… umm… bu…”

(He then takes his leave before causing any more problems. At the same time, the cashier was back at the counter with another employee.)

Me: “Sorry about that. Though, I guess I’ll buy two ICEEs.”

Other Employee: “No, you won’t. Your total is [half of the amount I asked for my gas]”

Me: “Uhhh… but that’s not even what I asked for gas.”

Other Employee: “After what you did for us, let us help you.”

(Turned out the other employee was the shift manager and he basically let me walk out only paying $20 for a full tank of gas, 2 ICEEs, and my snack.)

One Word: Decaf

| Right | September 1, 2015

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Customers: Terrified Of Change

| Cambridge, MA, USA | Right | September 1, 2015

(We’ve just spent the last two weeks completely renovating our retail space. The layout is entirely different, including knocking down some walls. Shortly after re-opening a customer comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “Everything’s just moved around for the weekend, right? You’ll move it all back to the way it was tomorrow?”

Thankful For Those Difficult People

| Right | August 31, 2015

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