The Best Trait(or) Of A Good Customer

, | Australia | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(I work for a well known supermarket that has exactly one equally popular competitor in Australia. It’s a well known ‘feud,’ if you will. A customer I don’t recognise comes in and starts looking closely at all our items.)

Customer: *muttering to herself* “Um… can I ask you some stupid questions?”

Me: *chuckling* “Of course.”

Customer: *sheepishly* “I usually shop at [Competitor]…”

(She seems like an understanding type, so I take a risk.)

Me: “Traitor. We don’t like your kind.”

Customer: *flails* “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me!”

(We find everything she’s looking for and she starts walking away.)

Me: “Thank you for shopping at [Store]!”

Customer: “I might even come back! “

A Boy For All Seasons

| Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I’m taking a four-year-old boy back for a check up. He seems a little nervous so I’m talking to him to make him calm down a little bit. Note: the Broncos are playing in the play-offs.)

Me: “Is it still snowing outside? You look like you’re freezing!”

Kid: “Uh-huh, I don’t like the cold!”

Me: “Aw, that’s too bad. I love the cold. I love it when it’s winter! What’s your favorite season?”

Kid: “Post-season!”

Me: “Huh, what? Can you name the four seasons?”

Kid: “Duh! Pre-season, regular season, post-season and off-season! The Broncos made it to post-season! YAY!”

(Little guy sure showed me! And wasn’t nervous for the rest of his visit.)

Stupidity Is Not To Be Sniffed At

| UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A customer comes to the till and orders a tea and a coffee. I make it and take it over to them. Two minutes later the customer is back.)

Customer: “Excuse me, you gave us the wrong drinks.”

Me: “Tea and coffee was it?”

Customer: “Yes”

Me: “That’s what I gave you.”

Customer: “But you gave it to us the wrong way round.”

Me: “Sorry, but can’t you swap them?”

Customer: “Well, no. She has already smelt it.”

Time To Separate The Horse From The Goats

| VA, USA | Family & Kids, Hall of Fame, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(We offer pony camps during the summer to kids wanting to learn to ride. We have very calm, safe horses to ride, and take all safety measures, but some parents are naturally worrisome.)

Mom: “Those horses are awfully big… Don’t you have something smaller for my daughter?”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, all of our horses are sweet. I’ve ridden all of them over my years here.”

Mom: “I just think that they’re too big for her. Maybe something smaller? Like a miniature horse?”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t really ride a miniature horse…”

Mom: “Oh! What about that one! It’s perfectly sized for her!”

Me: “Uh… Ma’am… that’s a goat.”

(At this point, the daughter was bright red. She ended up riding one of our largest horses and did awesomely. And poor Benny the goat didn’t have to worry!)

Playing The Roll Of The Manager

| Branson, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I have a project due that requires me to dress up really nicely and give a presentation. It goes very well, so my husband decides to take me out to lunch right after the class. I am still dressed up really nicely. The entire time my husband and I have sat at the table, an older man keeps looking at me and shuffling in his seat but I ignore it. I get up to go to the bathroom and when I come out, I find him standing outside the ladies’ room.)

Old Man: *still doing a little shuffle* “You’re out of toilet paper.”

Me: “What?”

Old Man: *getting upset* “You’re out of toilet paper in the men’s room!”

Me: “Uh… I don’t work here. You should find an employee.”

Old Man: *getting more upset* “But you look like you’re the manager! You sure you can’t get some toilet paper in there? I have to go, but I didn’t want to interrupt your break. But, I really have to go and I shouldn’t have to wait on you to do my business!”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I really don’t work here. I just had a big presentation at school today. Again, find an employee and I’m sure they’ll help you.”

Old Man: “BUT YOU LOOK LIKE THE MANAGER!”

(Finally after his outburst, the ACTUAL manager came over, asking what was going on. I explained my side and the old man blamed me for the lack of toilet paper! The real manager quickly replaced the toilet paper and even gave me and my husband a free appetizer on the house for our trouble. The old man glared at me throughout the rest of my meal, but hey, free appetizer!)

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