Grand Theft Insolence

| Oxfordshire, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology

(A mother and son approach my till with a carrier bags full of games to trade in. Some of them are 15- and 18-rated. The boy is approximately 11 years old.)

Mother:  “We’d like to trade these in for credit, please.”

Me: “No problem. Do you know what you’d like to buy with the credit?”

(I start swiping the games through the till. The mum looks at the boy, who shakes his head.)

Me: “That’s okay. I can put it onto a gift card for you, or I can give you a price for what we’d give you in cash, instead?”

Boy: “A gift card.”

Mother: *to the boy* “Please!”

Boy: “A gift card, please.”

Mother: “But won’t this leave you without ANY games?”

Boy: “Yeah, but Dad’s going to come to town with me tomorrow to get GTA Fi—” *trails off and looks up at me… knowing he’s put his foot in it*

Me: “Oh… uh…” *to mother* “I feel I should mention that GTA is an 18-rated game for a VERY good reasons. In the game there is a torture scene—”

Mother: “What?!”

Me: “… Your son’s character can also pick up, have sex with, then murder prostitutes. There’s also—”

Mother: “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” *turning to son, who is now looking like he’s been caught in a lie* “You KNEW about this, didn’t you?! NO WAY are you having that, and NO WAY your dad would let you have that either. Oh, god…”

Me: “I, uh… could go on, but I guess I don’t need to.”

(The mother is obviously shocked at what she was about to buy for her son. I explain the video game ratings system to her so she can make informed decisions in future, and write down a good review website I know of so she can research. All the while the kid is getting more and more frustrated realising he’s not going to get what he wants.)

Boy: *to mother* “I’m NOT talking to you.”

Mother: “Oh, really? I think you’re forgetting who bought you all of these games.” *turning to me* “I’ll take the cash price on these, please.”

(The mother then proceeds to sell ALL of the son’s games to me for cash, which she puts into her wallet. She then thanks me for my help, turns, and leaves, leaving her son shocked and GTA-5-less at my counter.)

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 9
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 8
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 7
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 6
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence

The Nineties Called…

| RI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work next to the electronics department. I am in the area when two customers walk up to an electronics associate.)

Customer: “Do you sell any VHS?”

Associate: “No, ma’am. We sell dvd players, though.”

Customer: “What’s DVD?”

(Associate proceeds to explain DVDs, still remaining very professional.)

Customer: “But you don’t have any VHS?! I find that hard to believe! Couldn’t you check the back room in case you have one lying around?”

Associate: “Ma’am, we haven’t sold VHS in years.”

Customer: “So you can’t check?”

Associate: “We don’t carry any VHS products anymore.”

Customer: “UNBELIEVABLE! How do you not carry VHS?! You’re gonna lose customers like that.”

(There is awkward silence. I’m a few feet away trying really hard not to laugh. But it’s not over yet.)

Customer: “What about [Brand Name]s? Do you have portable cassette [Brand Name]s?”

Associate: “We don’t have any cassette products anymore either.”

(The customer is genuinely bewildered at this point. She eventually decides to purchase a dvd player.)

Associate: “… And how will you be paying today?”

(The customer hands over a credit card.)

Associate: “Ma’am, this card is expired. In fact the card expired in the early 2000s.”

Customer: “WHAT?! No wonder you guys are going out of business. Can’t even take my payment!”

Glad They Nipped That One In The Bud

| NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(A male customer comes up to me and shows me a male dog’s belly. Note that I am a rather young woman.)

Customer: “What are those bumps on his belly?”

Me: “Those are nipples.”

Customer: “But I thought you said it was a boy.”

Me: “He is a boy.”

Customer: *horrified* “So why does he have nipples?”

Me: “All mammals have nipples, sir. Don’t you?”

Customer: “I… I guess you’re right.”

(The customer turns six shades of red and walks away. This is not the first time that exact exchange has transpired.)

A Bona-Fido Law

| Orem, UT, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Pets & Animals, Wild & Unruly

(I stop by the store on my way to work. A customer is causing quite a scene, while a manager is trying to deal with her.)

Customer: “I won’t leave my dog outside! Do you know how cold it is out there? What about cruelty to animals!?”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You should have left him at home. He cannot come in the store.”

Customer: “Leave him alone? That’s even more cruel!”

(At that point, I’d about had it, as had several other people. I, however, had recently been researching the city’s laws and ordinances regarding animals.)

Me: “Excuse me. But did you know, as per city ordinance, article 5-3, it is ‘unlawful for any person to take or permit any dog, whether loose or on a leash or in arms, in or about any establishment or place of business where food or food products are sold or displayed, including… grocery stores?’ The only exceptions are seeing-eye dogs, hearing dogs, and dogs owned by government agencies. As your dog obviously does not meet any of those qualifications, what you are attempting to do is illegal. Do I really need to call the police, or will you leave and take your dog with you?”

Customer: “Well, I never!” *she storms out, dog in arms*

Manager: “Thank you, ma’am.”

Me: “No trouble. What a moron. I don’t even have a cell phone.”

Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 4

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Religion

Customer: *at my closed register* “Can you check me out?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m closing this register. The next register is open, and my associate can check you out.”

Customer: *sighs* “Her line is too long. I need you to do it. I’m in a hurry.”

Me: “I can’t. As soon as I opened this register to count the till, it’s officially closed. I can’t do anything about it. You’ll have to go to the next register.”

Customer: *glares at me and leaves her full buggy in front of me* “I’m going to pray against you tonight.”

Coworker: “I bet she will, too.”

Related:
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2
Lack of Register Does Not Register

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