Their Poetry Isn’t Priceless Yet

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Language & Words, Transportation

(I’m a customer in a post office, mailing a submission for a national poetry contest (the name of which is stated on the envelope). The employee helping me has been entering information into the system.)

Employee: “So. how much is this poetry worth if lost?”

Me: “Only my heart and soul!”

Employee: “I’m just gonna go with a hundred dollars…”

Benefitting From A College Education

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I’m the customer here, looking at body jewelry in a popular alternative retail store. To be fair I have several facial piercings and my hair is pink. I’m right out of school so I still have my ID badge hanging out of my pocket.)

Lady: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Whoops, sorry, hon.”

(I move out of the way. She follows me and gets in my face.)

Lady: “I said EXCUSE ME! I need something out of that case.”

Me: “No, I don’t work—”

Lady: “I DIDN’T ASK FOR ANY OF YOUR LIP. NOW GET THE F****** CASE OPEN AND STOP BEING RUDE!”

Me: “I don’t work here! Find someone who does, or better yet, don’t, you nutcase.”

(She grabs my ID out of my pocket and heads deeper into the store screaming for a manager. Of course I follow, now pretty upset myself.)

Lady: “I want you to fire this god d*** b**** of an employee right now! I did not come in here to be disrespected by some brat who doesn’t know how to respect her elders!”

Manager: “Ma’am, she does not work here.”

(The lady waves my ID at him with a triumphant look.)

Manager: “Okay, go ahead and give me her ID. Hmm, well, doesn’t look like I can fire her from being a college student, but I can try if it will make you feel better.”

(The lady takes a closer look, turns bright red, and runs out of the store, almost knocking over a display in her rush.)

Me: “Well, that was something.”

Manager: “If it’s not women like her it’s twelve year olds trying to sneak into the back. You’re fired. How about I take your discount card and give you those last three punches?”

(He gave me my ID back and let me pick out a free piece of jewelry with my purchase.)

Even The Batcave Has A Woman’s Restroom

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m the customer in this story. I am with my girlfriend and her sister checking out one of the many Halloween stores that just opened up. I have purple and blue hair, a snapback on, facial piercings, and my arm was around my girlfriend’s shoulders. An older woman approaches me.)

Woman: *says something I don’t catch*

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Woman: “Women’s restroom?”

Me: “Uh, I don’t know. I don’t work here.”

Woman: *walks off*

(I didn’t realize until she left that she must have thought that the fact that I was wearing a lanyard meant I was working. It was a Batman lanyard with my girlfriend’s car keys on it.)