Happy Hypocritical Holidays!

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(I’m waiting for a supermarket to open. It’s a public holiday and so the opening hours are a bit different to normal.)

Lady: “Why is it taking so long to open?”

Me: “It’s a public holiday. They open later than normal.”

Lady: “But it’s a Monday! They should be opening at regular time. I’ve been here almost an hour!”

Me: “So you’re going to work today?”

Lady: “Pfft, no, it’s a holiday. No one works on holidays.”

Customers Like To Give You A Pizza Their Dirty Mind

| MI, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I and two other coworkers are on break in back room, having some pizza, when another coworker comes to grab some pizza. Everyone else is already sitting down and eating so he remains standing, eats some, and exclaims:)

Coworker: “This is sooo good. I could eat this every day.”

(After which I hear someone add on to that saying:)

Passer By: “Just like sex.”

(Everyone else continues eating and doesn’t say anything, until my coworker standing at the table asks:)

Coworker: “Did anyone else hear that guy?”

Me: “Yeah, the one that said ‘just like sex’?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I thought I was the only one who heard him.”

Me: “That’s what I thought, too.”

(We burst out laughing, then promptly close the doors so random creepers would stop eavesdropping or contributing creepiness.)

His Behavior Is Not Up To Scratch

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I’m ringing up a customer who is purchasing a replacement copy for a game that stopped working.)

Customer: “Yeah, this game just stopped working. It looks fine, though.”

Me: “We can get you another, but let me see if we can trade the defective copy towards the new copy.”

(I look the disc over, which has been scratched beyond belief, the is even marks around the center of the disc as if someone were trying to carve circles around it with a razor, but didn’t have a steady hand.)

Me: “It looks like someone intentionally scratched it to a point where it is not repairable.”

Customer: “That’s fine, we bought it at another store a week ago.”

Me: “We won’t be able to exchange it, if something like that happens to this copy.”

(I grab our last copy of the game for him, which he inspects.)

Customer: “Why would you even try to sell this. This looks like garbage.”

Me: “Sir, there’s just a fingerprint on it. It’s in far better condition than the one you had.”

Customer: “Well, you’d best find another one, because I won’t buy this.”

(After cleaning the fingerprint off and replacing the disc back in this case he purchased it and left. He returned a week later with a copy in the same condition as the one he was originally replacing. Turns out his kid was carving into the discs with a knife, and he had brought the kid in to make him pay $50 for the last copy, and pay his father back by trading his other games. Sweet justice.)