Will Likely Want Something For Three

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(I am a teenage girl. Over the summer and on school breaks, I work part-time as a receptionist in a hair salon run by a family friend in a Jersey Shore resort town. It is a slow Thursday morning in early September when the phone rings. I stop folding towels to answer it.)

Me: “[Salon], [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I would like to lodge a formal complaint.”

(We have no protocols for formal complaints. We are a tiny salon and our clientele are mostly friends of my boss and locals.)

Me: “All right, how can I help you?”

Caller: “My son, [Name], was booked for an appointment this morning at 8:30 and the shop wasn’t open yet!”

(My boss sometimes comes in a little late, but our limited clientele are very understanding. Obviously, this woman isn’t.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. Would you like to reschedule your son’s appointment?”

Caller: *ignoring me* “I just don’t understand why you would book us for an appointment when no one is going to be there! My son walked there by himself very early in the morning, and it’s very dangerous on the roads!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. We have open times this afternoon if you’d like to reschedule [Name]’s appointment.”

Caller: “MY SON IS THREE YEARS OLD! HE SHOULDN’T BE THERE IF NO ONE ELSE IS!”

Me: “If your son is three years old, why did he walk across dangerous, heavily-trafficked roads by himself?”

Caller: “HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE B****! I HOPE YOU DIE!” *click*

This Is How Musicals Are Born

| IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(My dad and I go to a hardware store needing eight bags for a gardening project.)

Employee #1: “Hi, can I help you?”

Dad: “Yeah, we need eight bags of mulch.”

Employee #1: “How many?”

Dad: “Eight bags.”

Employee #1: “Eight bags of mulch?”

Dad: “Eight bags of mulch.”

Employee #1 *shouting to Employee #2* “Eight bags of mulch!”

Employee #2: “Eight bags of mulch!”

Me: “Eight bags of mulch!”

Customer Behind Me: “Eight bags of mulch!”

(I laugh pretty hard at that. Later on, I’m putting the eighth bag into the trunk.)

Dad: “Wait, why are you putting that bag in there?”

Me: “…Don’t we need eight bags?”

Dad: “Oh, right! Eight bags of mulch!”

Me: “Eight bags of mulch!”

Rated ‘R You Serious?’

| Ashland, KY, USA | Movies & TV, Underaged

Customer: “I want two tickets to [Movie].”

Me: “The movie is rated R. May I ask how old you are?”

Customer: “17.”

Me: “May I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Sure!”

(I was happy to get someone not fighting me for once, but then…)

Me: “Umm… no offense but your ID says you’re 15.”

Customer: “Oh, they just printed it wrong.”

Me: “I am sorry but I have to go by the year on the ID and according to this you are 14.”

Customer: “Just sell me the ticket.”

Me: “I am sorry; I can’t. You can pick out another—”

(The customer huffs off. Five minutes later:)

Customer #2: “I need THREE tickets for [R-rated Movie].”

(The customer is slightly older but I see the first person over behind a pole and peeking around.)

Me: “The move is rated R. May I ask how old everyone is?”

Customer #2: “Well I am 19 and she is 18. And I am not sure how old the other person is.”

Me: “May see all the IDs, please?”

(The customer gives me both his and other girl’s ID and they are the right age.)

Me: “May I see the last ID?”

Customer #2: “He didn’t give it to me, but he is right behind that pole. Let me get him really quick.”

(Customer #2 then tries to go over to Customer #1, who promptly runs off.)

Customer #2: “Weird… He gave the money and everything.”