Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 7

| USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I am folding clothes with a coworker in the maternity section of a large chain department store. My coworker and I are both in our early 20s. The racks are tall enough so you can only see our heads and shoulders. A middle aged woman approaches us from behind.)

Customer: “When are you ladies due?”

(I step around the rack and hold up my badge so she can clearly see I’m an employee and that I’m not pregnant.)

Me: “Oh, no, ma’am. We are just straightening up the department. Neither of us are expecting.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I guess you’re not.” *turning to my coworker* “When are you due?”

Coworker: “I’m actually not pregnant either.”

Customer: “Of course you are!”

Coworker: “No, ma’am, I assure you I’m not.”

Customer: “Don’t be silly. When are you due?”

Coworker: “I’M NOT PREGNANT. I’M JUST FAT!”

(The customer gets ready to say something else but just walks away.)

Coworker: “I’m never wearing this sweater again…”

Me: “I’m never working in the maternity section again.”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4

Won’t Find Modern Software In Modern Society

| London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

Customer: “Hi, yeah, I’m interested in buying some of your software but I got to know one thing.”

Me: “Sure, we’ll try and help in any way we can.”

Customer: “F***, I’m glad to hear that. Now listen; you got any of them f*gs or tree-huggers working for you? I can’t buy from you if you have.”

Me: “Okay, sir, the religion or preferences of our staff is not up for discussion as it isn’t relevant to our software.”

Customer: “I f**king KNEW it! You’re the eighth firm I’ve called today!”

You’re My Number One Problem

| MI, USA | Home Improvement, Pets & Animals, Top

(I overhear the following conversation between a resident and the manager of our building. The resident is notorious for being a nuisance, and for letting his yippy little rat of a dog relieve herself everywhere, both in his apartment, and in common areas.)

Resident: “The carpet in my apartment needs to be cleaned. It smells awful!”

Manager: “Maintenance deep cleaned it a month ago; it’s really smelling again?”

Resident: “Yes! It’s disgusting. You need to find staff who know how to clean things properly. I’m paying far too much to live in a smelly apartment.”

Manager: “The last time the carpet was cleaned, maintenance reported that the smell appeared to come from dozens of urine stains. Perhaps if your dog were to stop urinating on the carpet, the smell wouldn’t come back.”

Resident: “What!? My precious little [cutesy dog name] is housebroken, and I walk her several times a day! How dare you blame her? You people have been trying to get rid of her for years, and I won’t stand for it!”

Manager: “Oh, I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have made that assumption about [cutesy dog name]. Perhaps if YOU stop peeing on the carpet, the smell won’t return.”