Bird Brained, Part 11

| USA | Right | November 27, 2015

(I have just bought four cups of nectar to feed the rainbow lorikeets at the zoo. After finding a somewhat calm place to stand, I make no indication I notice the birds and am soon covered in them. The birds are only going towards the adults and older (quieter) kids. The younger kids start coming over to me trying to get birds to jump onto them and drink out of their cups.)

Kid: “You’ve got so many birds! I want one!”

Me: “Here, just stand next to me and don’t move. They’ll come right over!”

(He stands next to me but squeals every time a bird comes near him and scares it away. Then his mom comes over.)

Mom: “Oh, wow! You have so many birds with you! Can you pass one to my son?”

Me: “I’ll try, but the birds don’t like noise. If he can stand still and quiet they’ll land on him.”

(I try to pass a bird to the kids hand but it jumps back to mine.)

Mom: “Stop hogging all the birds! This is really unfair to the kids!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just been standing here. The birds are coming to me.”

Mom: “So you should be passing them to the kids, then! This is a zoo! This is a place for CHILDREN, not immature adults!”

Me: “You’re being very rude. I’ve already tried passing the birds off but it’s not my fault if they don’t want to sit with them. The zoo is a place for anyone to enjoy, not just kids.”

(She doesn’t respond but starts trying to grab birds off of me or shoo them away. One of them starts squawking and bites her.)

Mom: “Ugh! This zoo is atrocious! How dare they have such untrained, disgusting animals allowed to hurt people!”

(She stormed off to complain to a zookeeper.)

Related:
Bird Brained, Part 10
Bird Brained, Part 9
Bird Brained, Part 8

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A Jarring Experience

| Guelph, ON, Canada | Right | November 27, 2015

(I’m putting out stock in the electronics department when I overhear the following conversation between a co-worker and an older man carrying some groceries.)

Customer: “You’d better have a blu-ray copy of [Sci-Fi Movie that was released a few days prior] or I’m gonna shove this jar of peanuts up your a**.”

Coworker: “Well, sir, I personally prefer dry roasted peanuts, and those ones are honey roasted…”

(My coworker indicates a large display of the movie in question.)

Coworker: “…and here are 200 copies of [Movie], no more than a few feet away from where you are standing. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

(The customer grabs a movie and walks away quickly, pointedly not looking at my coworker.)

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‘Surprise’-ingly Good Parenting

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | November 27, 2015

(Our store is known for our “surprise bags”, where, for a few bucks, you get six randomly chosen accessories that are gathered from the old stock sent back to corporate. To keep the element of surprise, the bags are colored blue and not very opaque, which means that a lot of curious customers will tear open the bags to see what’s inside. I come around the corner and I see a young girl pull a long thin hair clip out of the bag where it had been against the plastic and uses it to try to wedge the bag open. If they’re really young kids, we usually just tell them that they can’t do that and deal with the bag, but this girl looks to be about ten and should know better.)

Me: “Excuse me, you can’t open that.”

Girl: *startled that she had been caught* “I didn’t open it.”

(What I didn’t notice this that at the same time I caught the girl, so did her mother.)

Mother: *to daughter* “What are you doing?!”

Girl: “Nothing.”

Me: “Your daughter was opening one of the surprise bags.”

Girl: “No, I wasn’t!”

Mother: *to me* “Oh, I know. I saw her do it.”

Girl: “I wasn’t opening it!”

Mother: “Then what were you doing?”

Girl: “…”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. Our policy is that we can’t force you to buy it. But, unfortunately I’m going to have to take the bag and put it in our damaged products bins.”

Mother: “Oh, no! She opened it; she’s buying it!”

(The mother grabbed her daughter by the arm and marched her over to the register where she made her daughter use her allowance money to buy the opened surprise bag. Even as they were leaving the store I still heard the daughter insisting that she didn’t open it.)

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8 Reasons Why Retail Workers Hate Black Friday

| Right | November 27, 2015
1. Thanksgiving is ruined.

For our American readers, hosting a Thanksgiving dinner, traveling to visit family, or relaxing is almost impossible. Instead, you’re stuck spending your time with total strangers.

2. The crowds are borderline zombie-apocalyptic.

Hundreds of shoppers, doorbuster deals, and limited stock: what could possibly go wrong?!

3. Customers are even more short-tempered than usual.

Everyone’s in a rush, lines are long, and items are often sold out. But remember, the customer is always right!

4. Shifts are exhausting.

Working overnight, coming in extra early and pulling multiple shifts are often required, and can wipe you out. Hope you got plenty of sleep the week before!

5. Black Friday seems to get earlier every year.

When stores open (and stay open) at 9 pm on Thursday, you have to wonder why they even call it Black Friday. Oh, that’s right — that’s Thanksgiving, the day you’re supposed to be spending with your loved ones!
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6. Your diet will consist of coffee and Red Bull.

You’ll drink enough caffeine to power a small city, and it still won’t be enough. A triple venti caramel macchiato? Don’t mind if I do!
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7. Clean up is horrifying.

Take a cattle stampede and run it through your store… and then repeat that about 100x. Add manure to taste.
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Photo Credit: Scurzuzu
8. Even when it’s over, you realize this is just the beginning of the holiday season.

We are all in for a “ruff” ride!

Not Always Right wishes our American readers a Happy Thanksgiving; to all our readers, best of luck for a safe Black Friday and holiday season!

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46

| Eugene, OR, USA | Right | November 27, 2015

(I work as a teller, and one of my jobs is to field phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]; this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m trying to make an online purchase with my debit card and it’s not working! I need you to fix this.”

Me: “Well, sir, it sounds like your card may be blocked. I can transfer—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No! This is a brand new card; I just got it today from the bank. Now they told me it would work, and it doesn’t!”

Me: “That’s odd, let me…”

Customer: “And another thing! How do you get away with issuing already expired cards?”

Me: “Well, sir, our temporary cards expire after a set time, but they are always good when issued.”

Customer: “No! This one says February 18th, right on there! Now today is the 24th, which means this is expired!”

Me: *face-palm* “Sir… all cards list the expiration date as month and year. That is February of 2018 listed on the card, and I assure you if you use that date you will be able to make your purchase.”

Customer: “That’s… that’s not what I was told! I was told this would expire this year!”

Me: “Yes, sir. The temporary card will. However it must have the same expiration date listed on it as the permanent card with the same number that is being mailed to you. I promise, February of 2018 will work.”

Customer: “Well… I suppose I’ll try it. But that’s darn foolish!” *click*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43

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