The Brain Is Vacant, The Room Is Not

| Dubai, UAE | Right | July 28, 2015

(I work at the front desk of a big hotel, which is currently fully booked. One in-house guest would like to extend, but we have to decline. Finally, he comes to check out.)

Guest: “I think that what you are doing is really rude.”

Me: “How so, sir?”

Guest: “I wanted to extend my stay here, but you won’t let me.”

Me: “Yes, I am very sorry about that, but we are fully committed tonight, therefore we are not able to extend your stay. But hopefully next time, Sir.”

Guest: “But how can you possibly sell my room when I am still in there? You should ask me before you do that, so I can decide whether to stay or not.”

Me: “…”

Can’t Be Possible

| USA | Right | July 28, 2015

(During a call with an irate customer.)

Customer: “Don’t you know you can’t use the word ‘can’t’ in customer service?”

Me: “Okay, then, it’s not possible.”

Customer: *expletives*

Refunder Blunder, Part 15

, | Olympia, WA, USA | Right | July 28, 2015

(I work the return desk at a home improvement store that’s going out of business. We stop accepting returns unless the item was purchased prior to liquidation, and there are signs posted everywhere stating all sales are final. An elderly gentleman walks up to the desk with an item return.)

Me: *checking receipt* “I see this is a purchase made after the liquidation process started. I’m afraid all sales are final.”

Customer: *sputtering* “Well, you should have signs posted warning people!”

(I show him where the signs are.)

Customer: “THOSE weren’t there when I bought this!”

Me: “They have been there over a month.

Customer: “Well, you should print it on the receipts, so people don’t waste time!”

(I take out his receipt and show him the text.)

Customer: “YOU JUST PUT THAT ON THERE, YOU LITTLE B****!”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 14
Refunder Blunder, Part 13
Refunder Blunder, Part 12

Her Lips Are Sealed And Waterproof

| WA, USA | Right | July 28, 2015

(I am shopping for shelf brackets at a hardware store and I overhear this conversation between a nervous-looking woman and an apron-clad store assistant.)

Woman: “Yes, hi, I need to replace the edges of my bathtub. Could you tell me which aisle has those?”

Assistant: “Well, we have bathroom units and tub liners that cover your bath and give it a new surface. I can show you where those are, if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I don’t want a new bathtub. I just need to… there are some cracks and old spots around the edges that I just need to, um, reseal.”

Assistant: “Oh, well if you want to touch up cracks or worn places in the finish, I’d really suggest having a professional come look at it. We have the primer and finish here, but it’s not the easiest job for one person.”

Woman: *visibly flustered and fidgeting with her pocketbook* “No, it’s not the paint that needs to be fixed; it’s the edges near the wall. I need to seal them so I don’t get mold in the walls.”

Assistant: *I see his brow furrow as I sneak a peek at the odd conversation* “So something to waterproof the inside edges? Do you mean caulk?”

Woman: *turns an alarmingly bright red and stares at him for a few seconds with wide eyes before whispering* “Yes, that.”

Assistant: *looking amused, but stays professional* “No problem, ma’am, the waterproofing sealant is this way. In fact, we have some products that prevent mildew, so you don’t have to worry about your walls.”

(They walk off and I giggle to myself. The poor woman, around fifty years old but still too embarrassed to say ‘caulk’!)

Blowing A Lot Of Hot Air About A Lot Of Gas

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | July 28, 2015

(On this particular morning, the other baristas and I have to evacuate the building due to a gas leak on an upper floor. We are outside on the patio, waiting for fire rescue to finish checking it out.)

Customer: *walks up and tries to open the locked door*

Me: “Ma’am! Please do not go in!”

Customer: *pulls on the door again* “Why not? You’re supposed to be open!”

Me: “We had to evacuate the building due to a gas leak!”

Customer: “Well, you should have put up a closed sign!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we were instructed to exit the building as fast as possible so we didn’t have time.”

(The customer leaves in a huff. Two hours later, after we have reopened:)

Customer: “I can’t believe I had to come back because you guys were closed this morning!”

Me: “…Sorry. Again, we had to evacuate the building so we didn’t die.”

Customer: “Hmph!”

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