Some Customers Really Need To Change

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work as a cashier in a small grocery store. An older woman comes to my register with two gallons of milk and some bread.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total comes to $10.08.”

Customer: “I only have ten dollars!” *waves a ten dollar bill in my face*

Me: “You know what? I’ll just pay the difference for you, since you’re a regular.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(I take a quarter out of my pocket, complete the transaction, drop the change in my pocket, and hand her the milk.)

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

Customer: “Where is my change? The screen says my change is 17 cents.”

Me: “Well, since I used a quarter to pay just the eight cents I took the rest of the change back.”

Customer: “You should give it to me! You’re stealing from me, you little b****! Let me talk to your manager!”

(She continues to yell at me and my manager for a few minutes, calling us evil thieves.)

Manager: “No one is stealing from you, ma’am. She didn’t even need to pay the difference on your total.”

Customer: “I’m never coming back here again!”

(She storms out.)

Fishing For A Fisherman

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, History

(I am working at the seafood counter of my store when a little old lady walks up.)

Old Lady: “Did you catch these fish yourself?”

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Heh, good one.”

Old Lady: “Well? Did you?”

Me: “… No, ma’am.”

Old Lady: “Well, which one of the people here did catch them?”

Me: “No one here caught them, ma’am.”

Old Lady: “You mean you didn’t catch them locally? What kind of fisherman are you?”

Me: “I’m not a fisherman, ma’am. I’m a retail employee, as is everyone else here. Also, we’re right in the middle of the Florida peninsula, 45 miles to the ocean in either direction. And I couldn’t tell you anything about the fish living in local lakes or rivers, but I’m betting they’re not good to eat.”

Old Lady: “Well, then how did you get these fish?!”

Me: “They were farm-raised in Vietnam, frozen, shipped overseas, and driven here in a refrigerated truck.”

Old Lady: “What’s happening to America?! When I was a little girl, we used to go down to all the Mom-and-Pop general stores and buy fresh fish, caught right here in God’s country!”

Me: “Mom-and-Pop general stores don’t exist anymore, ma’am. My company had Mom and Pop locked up and burned their store to the ground.”

Needs To Clean Out More Than The Hard Drive

| NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I work in the electronics section of a home store. I deal mostly with computers, tablets, and the like. A customer is having troubles setting up a computer after purchasing it the previous day. He needs to do a local account reset so the computer can be used like new. I tell him to come back down to the store, because it would be easier to show him how to do it. The customer in question is probably in his 80s. I am a girl in my 20s. My coworker, who is also a girl in her 20s, is standing next to me.)

Customer: *smelling of stale cigarettes and other things* “Hi, I spoke to you on the phone about my computer.”

Me: “Yes, of course. Go ahead and take your computer out and we will plug it in and take care of your issues. Other than the problem that you spoke to me about do you have any questions?”

Customer: “No, I just want to download some things and it won’t let me without a password.”

(I proceed to walk the customer through the steps of resetting the computer, adding accounts, changing passwords, and installing software. All this time I have been touching the computer and inputting the customer’s information so that we can get him out the door. He has me download one last thing and right when we are about to finish up he asks me another normal question.)

Customer: “So, can you show me how to delete files and emails? It has been a long time and this computer is different from my other one.”

Me: “Sure, not a problem. Do you know where your files are located in the computer?”

Coworker: *standing next to me* “Here, they might be located in this section.”

(She looks through the computer, but can’t seem to find anything so I resume my search.)

Customer: “Well, they are more so movies than files….”

(I see where this is going and I sort of freeze up.)

Customer: “Yeah, I was watching a lot of porn last night and I can’t seem to get it off of my computer.”

(I am now slowly removing my hands from the keyboard and suddenly realizing that it didn’t look like he had cleaned the computer before he brought it in. My coworker’s face has gone pale and she slowly walks away from the department to wash her hands. I stand there wishing I could do the same.)

Customer: “Yeah, I was watching a lot of stuff last night and I came across some things that I don’t know if I really wanted to see and now I want you to delete them for me.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “So can you do that, too?”

Me: “No… sir. I can’t attempt to access anything of that… er… nature. If something were to pop up unexpectedly I could be fired… or we could be sued.”

(My coworker has come back and that point and reiterates to the customer what I just said about things of that nature.)

Customer: “Oh… okay. I really wish you could do that for me….”

(He proceeds to ask me to do more and more things as I just sit there stunned that he allowed me to touch his computer knowing what he had done. He refused to type in anything after that. He finally ran out of questions to ask me and started putting his computer away. As he walked away I immediately booked it to the bathroom and scoured my hands with soap and water and then proceeded to empty a bottle of hand sanitizer on them. I then walk to tell my manager what happened, so that I could ask him what I should do if that situation ever occurred again.)

Manager: “The next time that happens, tell him you can’t help him because his computer is now classified as a biohazard.”