Can’t See The Gravity Of The Situation

| NY, USA | Right | January 28, 2017

(Part of my duties as an optician is fitting and adjusting eyeglass frames. One day, a woman comes in to get her frames adjusted. I look everything over and the fit looks fine.)

Me: “What problem are you having with the fit?”

Customer: “Gravity is pulling down on one side more than the other and making the frames crooked.”

Not Getting A RAW Deal

| MA, USA | Right | January 27, 2017

(I just recently finished my Master’s from a prestigious college. I still work for this retailer since student loans payments are high and they actually pay me good money at this store, working in the photo center, since I have been there for many years and the job market in my field is lacking at the moment.)

Customer: “Why are my pictures all blurry?”

Me: “The resolution of the photo was not high enough to be printed clearly.”

Customer: “These are professional photos taken by a PROFESSIONAL. They are of the highest quality possible.”

Me: “How did this professional send them to you.”

Customer: “By email.”

(This happens a lot and few know that with certain emailing services, they will compress the photo being sent in order for it to email properly. Basically, emailing even a “professional photo” will ruin the quality. I explain this to the customer.)

Customer: “Yes but this is by a professional. He knows what he’s doing and what he’s talking about, unlike you.”

Me: “Ma’am, I have a Bachelor’s degree in Photography and a Masters from one of the best universities in the country in Digital Curation and Preservation. With all due respect, I KNOW what I am talking about.”

Customer: “If you had those degrees you wouldn’t be working here. I don’t believe you. You guys are just doing a crappy job printing my professional wedding photos.”

Me: “The reason why I am working here is none of your concern. I am trying to explain to you why your photos are not coming out clear. We have a PROFESSIONAL printer. It is not our fault they came out this way. If you would just contact your photographer and have them put it on a flash drive or CD, the quality will be much better and we can print them.”

Customer: “Clearly you have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to professional photography. I am going to the drugstore down the street to print these.”

(Let’s see if she finds someone who knows what they are talking about there!)

Their Computer Experience Is Green

| UK | Right | January 27, 2017

(I’m working on the IT helpdesk of the store I work in when I get a customer call in.)

Customer: “I bought a laptop there yesterday and now it’s broken. What do I do to fix it?”

Me: “Could you please describe how it’s broken?”

Customer: “It’s green.”

Me: “Green?”

Customer: “Green.”

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “It’s green!”

Me: “So the casing is green?”

Customer: “I don’t know what that is. Why aren’t you helping me?”

Me: “I’m trying to, madam. Could you please describe what exactly is green?”

Customer: “It… it’s just green.”

Me: “Okay. Are you able to turn the laptop over and tell me what the information on the back is?”

(She reads me the information and I check the model. It isn’t available in green so I’m at a loss as to what she is describing, until I notice the laptop I have been working on through the day.)

Me: “Is it green on the front, like a small light?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Was it a different colour before?”

Customer: “Orange! I like orange. Can it be orange again?”

Me: “And is it connected to a live plug?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Madam?”

Customer: “A… what?”

Me: *while praying she knows what this means* “Is it… charging?”

Customer: “Like my iPhone? Yes, it is!”

Me: “Well, it’s doing what your iPhone does when you charge it up. The green light is when it’s fully charged.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Do you understand?”

Customer: “I think so. So when can you fix it?”

Me: “There’s nothing wrong with it. That is what the laptop is designed to do.”

Customer: “But I want the orange!”

Me: “If you take it off charge and use it for a while, then charge it up again, it will be orange again for a short time.”

Customer: “It will?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh, my God! It’ll be like a Christmas present only all year round! Thank you so much!” *hangs up*

Children Of Crime

| UK | Right | January 27, 2017

(It’s busy at work so I decide to hop on a checkout. I have processed a couple of customers when I notice everything on the conveyor belt for my next customer has been opened.)

Me: “Miss, we prefer to have you wait until after purchasing before… eating your shopping.”

Woman: “Oh, my son was hungry. You can’t expect him to sit there quietly when he’s hungry!”

Me: *looking at the toddler in the trolley seat and then at the woman’s shopping* “Sure, but, you gave him whiskey?”

(The woman turned beet red and decided to sprint for the door, leaving her shopping and CHILD behind. She jumped in her car and sped off. We got in touch with the police and while giving statements in the back the woman came back in wearing something completely different and trying to act incognito. We all went down and when she saw the police she tried to do a runner again. I was honestly trying to hold laughter in while the police arrested her for robbery, child neglect, and drunk driving. Her son was smiling and laughing throughout.)

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Not A Fan Of The Product

| Barrhaven, ON, Canada | Right | January 27, 2017

(I pick up the phone. The customer complains about an air conditioner he bought, saying it doesn’t work.)

Caller: “The air conditioner doesn’t work. It gives cool air. I want cold air.”

(I sense it might be a case of flipping the control knob on the unit from cold to fan.)

Me: “Have you flipped the knob to cold air? It might be on fan.”

Caller: “No. It gives cool air; I want cold air.”

(I go through various options. The customer keeps complaining the unit puts out cool air and he wants cold air.)

Me: “What air conditioner do you have, sir.”

(The customer reads off the brand.)

Me: “Sir, you’ve bought a fan.”

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