I Used To Work Here, Does Not Work Here

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m currently shopping at a department store. I did in fact work in this store… more than ten years ago. Since then it has renovated twice, totally reorganizing the layout and expanding the tiny grocery section to nearly full supermarket size, but because I shop there so often I know my way around. I also have long hair, for a male, that I keep well washed and trimmed in a ponytail.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, I know you don’t work here, but do you know where [products] are?”

Me: “Last I saw them, they were down just on the other side of the produce stuff.”

Customer #1: “Thank you!”

(Another customer approaches after this exchange.)

Customer #2: “Wait, you work here?”

Me: “Not for about a decade, no.”

Customer #2: “Then why did you help her?”

Me: “Because she asked and I knew?”

Customer #2: “Well, that’s horribly rude of you! You’re taking away the jobs of the people that still work!”

Me: “No, I was saving someone the hassle of either finding an employee, or buzzing for one and having to wait.”

Customer #2: “That’s still the employees’ job! And what, you quit a decade ago and you’re still not working?!”

Me: *laughing at this point* “Are you serious? WHY would you think that?!”

Customer #2: “That ridiculous hair of yours, for one. You look like a slob!”

Me: “Funny, that’s not what the CEO of the company said when he was congratulating me on my promotion to the manager of the shipping department where I work now. Now, do YOU need help finding anything? Or can I get back to getting my groceries?”

(I’m not sure whether she was more astounded by the fact that I ‘dared’ talk back to her, or that I was calm yet laughing the whole time, but she was still giving me a death glare when I went to go about my business!)

Some Customers Really Need To Change

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work as a cashier in a small grocery store. An older woman comes to my register with two gallons of milk and some bread.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total comes to $10.08.”

Customer: “I only have ten dollars!” *waves a ten dollar bill in my face*

Me: “You know what? I’ll just pay the difference for you, since you’re a regular.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(I take a quarter out of my pocket, complete the transaction, drop the change in my pocket, and hand her the milk.)

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

Customer: “Where is my change? The screen says my change is 17 cents.”

Me: “Well, since I used a quarter to pay just the eight cents I took the rest of the change back.”

Customer: “You should give it to me! You’re stealing from me, you little b****! Let me talk to your manager!”

(She continues to yell at me and my manager for a few minutes, calling us evil thieves.)

Manager: “No one is stealing from you, ma’am. She didn’t even need to pay the difference on your total.”

Customer: “I’m never coming back here again!”

(She storms out.)

Fishing For A Fisherman

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, History

(I am working at the seafood counter of my store when a little old lady walks up.)

Old Lady: “Did you catch these fish yourself?”

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Heh, good one.”

Old Lady: “Well? Did you?”

Me: “… No, ma’am.”

Old Lady: “Well, which one of the people here did catch them?”

Me: “No one here caught them, ma’am.”

Old Lady: “You mean you didn’t catch them locally? What kind of fisherman are you?”

Me: “I’m not a fisherman, ma’am. I’m a retail employee, as is everyone else here. Also, we’re right in the middle of the Florida peninsula, 45 miles to the ocean in either direction. And I couldn’t tell you anything about the fish living in local lakes or rivers, but I’m betting they’re not good to eat.”

Old Lady: “Well, then how did you get these fish?!”

Me: “They were farm-raised in Vietnam, frozen, shipped overseas, and driven here in a refrigerated truck.”

Old Lady: “What’s happening to America?! When I was a little girl, we used to go down to all the Mom-and-Pop general stores and buy fresh fish, caught right here in God’s country!”

Me: “Mom-and-Pop general stores don’t exist anymore, ma’am. My company had Mom and Pop locked up and burned their store to the ground.”