Causing A Drama In The Drama Section

New York, NY, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV

(I work in a video rental store where new movies are put in the ‘premiere’ section for a few months before getting moved to ‘comedy,’ ‘mystery,’ etc. Even though ‘premiere’ movies had come out in the theatres about six months to a year prior to coming out for rental, people always seemed to make it a priority to pick movies from there.)

Customer: “Where is [Movie]? I don’t see it here.”

Me: “It was just taken from the premiere section about 30 minutes ago and put into the drama section.”

Customer; “Oh, no! I wanted to watch that.”

Me: “I just came from the drama section, just over there about 12 feet away, and I saw 10 copies of the film sitting there. I’m sure that there will be plenty there if you go now.”

Customer: “Oh, I never watch a movie unless it’s in the premiere section.”

(She turns to leave the store, sighs heavily, and sends her heartfelt complaint out to the store in general.)

Customer: “And I REALLY wanted to see that movie!”

5 Stories Of Spring Break!

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Spring Break! It’s spring break, where more idiots than you’d think descend upon coastal towns to cause mayhem and wreak havoc, as you can see in these stories below:

  1. Put Them In The Hot Seat (1,806 thumbs up)
  2. Jellyfishing For Giggles (2,056 thumbs up)
  3. TMI (Too Much Information) (2,366 thumbs up)
  4. Stuck In The Wake Of Spring Break (1,501 thumbs up)
  5. Getting Chesty About The Law (2,247 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Smile, And The World Scowls With You

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

Me: *sick and feeling nauseated* “Hi. Did you find everything okay, ma’am?” *starts to scan her items*

Customer: “I found everything.” *scowls at me* “You should smile more when you’re greeting people.”

Me: “I usually do. I’m not feeling well today, but I couldn’t call in. It’s a Saturday, which means we have a lot of balloon orders—”

Customer: “Whatever. We don’t care if you feel like dog s***. The customer is always right, and if I say I want a smile, I expect a d*** smile.”

Me: “Um, sorry, ma’am.” *tries a smile* “Your total is [total].”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and throws money at me* “It’s a wonder you have a job at all with that kind of attitude.” *storms out*

Failed The Geek Test

| SC, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

Customer: “Do you have The Hobbit?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s back in SciFi/Fantasy. Alphabetical by author’s last name. Tolkien.”

Customer: “Why is The Hobbit in SciFi/Fantasy?”

Me: “Uhh…”

Customer: “It’s a test.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *visibly annoyed* “Health Occupational Basics Entrance Test. Why is it in SciFi? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Me: “Oh! Hold on.” *looks it up on the computer* “Yeah, we don’t have anything like that in the store. I can order something if you want.”

Customer: “What?! I called earlier and the woman I talked to said you had it in the store.”

Me: “Yeah… she probably thought you were talking about The Hobbit. Do you want me to order a title for you?”

Customer: “NO!” *walks out with a huff*

Oh, Boy!

| New Zealand | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Top

(I’m working the checkout on a fairly light day. The next person in queue has a young girl with her, about six or seven years old. The girl pulls out a hat from her pocket and puts it on, then reaches for an energy drink on display.)

Mum: “Sweetie, you can’t have that. They’re not good for you.”

(The girl’s face and shoulders drop as she is visibly and suddenly deflated. She takes off her hat and puts the can back.)

Girl: “But mum… I was Mikey! He has them all the time! How did you know it was me? Mikey told me when I wear his hat you would think I was him and would let me buy it, and wouldn’t know it was me.”

Mum: “Oh, sweetie, I’m your mummy. I would recognize you anywhere, no matter whose hat you were wearing.”

(The girl calms down, but is still upset. As her mother and I exchange pleasantries, the girl puts the hat back on and pulls it down low over her face, but I can still see her lips trembling.)

Me: “What a lovely boy you have there, ma’am. He looks really big and strong.”

(The girl cranes her neck up to look at me under the low visor, her eyes huge and shining.)

Me: “Hi, young man. What’s your name?”

Girl: *smiling and trying to fake a deeper voice* “Mikey! Mikey! Michael.”

Me: “That’s a great name, son. You take good care of your mum there, okay?”

(She nods gravely, completely happy and satisfied. As they walk out, I hear the girl’s tiny voice.)

Girl: “Mummy, mummy, I knew it! I knew it would work! Mikey said it would! Do you think daddy would know it’s me, too?”

(The mother turns and gives me a thankful smile and a wink before leaving.)

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