Unable To Please You

| Lancashire, England, UK | Right | January 30, 2016

(I am a cashier. Two customers approach the counter; one of them has an item of fruit.)

Customer #1: “Is this [price #1]?”

Me: “No, sir, it’s [price #2].”

Customer #2: *in a stern tone* “Please.”

Me: “…sorry?”

Customer #1: “So you should be. You say please when you tell me the price.”

Me: “It’s [price #2]… please?”

Customer #2: “That’s better.” *to Customer #1* “Don’t they teach people manners these days?”

(They put down the fruit and walk off.)

Me: “But… I… I was answering a question.”

Ordered The Chef’s Special

| Bloomington, IN, USA | Right | January 30, 2016

(I’m working the lunch shift in a downtown farm-to-table restaurant. We get a wide range of customers, from college kids and professors, to ladies who lunch. I’ve seated a normal casually dressed man, and one of my servers goes to help him.)

Server: *to me* “There’s something weird about him. He’s not making sense and doesn’t seem to want to place an order.”

Me: “That’s weird. He seemed pretty normal when I sat him. I’ll go talk to him.” *to customer* “Sir, can I start you with something to drink today?”

Customer: *unintelligible mumbling*

Me: “Okay, then. If you don’t wish to place an order today, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: *more mumbles*

Me: “I’ll have to ask you to leave; the dining room is just for our customers. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself, but you need to leave.”

(I step away from the table and am walking across the dining room towards the server when she sees something behind me.)

Server: “No, sir! Please be careful! White Coats, I need the White Coats!”

(The customer had picked up a fork and was trying to stick it in an outlet behind the host station. I strong-armed him out of the building while the server got the “White Coats” as backup. The White Coats were our kitchen staff, all wearing chef coats. A wall of them made great backup. The customer wandered away while I called the police. They eventually picked him up; he was off his meds and harassing local shops.)

Half-Baked Assumptions

| VA, USA | Right | January 30, 2016

(I’m shopping at a store I used to work at when a man I don’t know walks up to me.)

Man: “Excuse me, do you know where I can find baking powder?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s over on aisle seven, near the flour.”

Man: “Thanks!”

Me: *after remembering I don’t work here and have nothing on that looks like the uniforms worn there* “Wait, why did you ask me that?”

Man: “Because you’re a woman. All women know where stuff like that is.”

Their Brain Was Dead On Arrival

| London, England, UK | Right | January 30, 2016

(Customer reported his car had broken down. The call went pretty smoothly until the end:)

Me: “So if you have no further questions, I’ll arrange the assistance for you now and give you a call back when we’ve got someone on their way, once we have an estimated time of arrival.”

Customer: “I’ve got one question. When will someone be here?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, I can’t be sure until we have made a few calls and gotten the technician on their way. If you could give us a little bit of time to arrange things, expect a call back in about ten minutes.”

Customer: “But when will he be arriving? Will I get a call?”

(By this point I knew the customer wasn’t listening at all and what should have been a quick easy call was going to take an extra five-plus minutes.)

Me: “Yes, sir, as soon as we know we will give you a call straight back.”

Customer: *long pause* “So you don’t know how long it’ll be?”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “But I’ve got to go out later. What if he comes when I’m out?”

Me: “Well, we’ll be letting you know in advance. I’m sorry, but I don’t have an idea how long it will be until I call the technician, you see.”

Customer: *another long pause*

Me: “…Sooo, if that’s all for now, we’ll let you know the estimated time of arrival in ten minutes.”

Customer: “Okay, great, he’ll be here in ten minutes? How did you know without calling him?”

Me: *face-palm*

(I then had to spend the next few minutes explaining that the tech won’t be there in ten minutes, but we will let him know ASAP. In the time it took me, I could have dispatched it, called the technician, had a long chat about the weather, gotten the ETA, and called the customer back.)

Different Degrees Of Understanding

| CA, USA | Right | January 30, 2016

(A customer asked me an irrelevant question I didn’t know the answer to…)

Me: “I’m really not sure. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, I guess that’s why you’re a waitress.”

Me: *in disbelief* “I actually have a Bachelor’s degree in education.”

Customer: “So you think having a degree automatically makes you smart?”

Me: “Well, you seem to think that being a waitress automatically makes you trashy.”

(She sat there speechless for a few seconds, and then demanded to speak to my manager about my rudeness. Other customers vouched for me and I did not get in trouble.)

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