Has A Latte Demands

| VA, USA | Right | October 28, 2016

(I manage a small cafe & coffee shop in a VERY small town that happens to be close to the interstate and several universities. As such, we get a fair amount of tourist traffic, especially from the motel across the street. One early morning, when only I and a fairly new coworker are in the cafe, we notice two women, mother and adult daughter, walking over from the motel.)

Coworker: “Good morning! How can we help you today?”

Older Woman: *looks around at our tables and coffee station while her daughter stays blocking the door* “Do you have food here?”

Coworker: “Yes, we do! Our menus are right here, and we have some specials on the board over here…”

Older Woman: *interrupting* “Do you have a chai latte?”

Coworker: “Um, I don’t think so…” *looks at me for help*

Me: “Good morning! I’m afraid we don’t have lattes, as we don’t have an espresso machine or a steamer for milk. We’ve got locally roasted coffee and loose leaf teas, though.”

Older Woman: “But you don’t have a chai latte.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Older Woman: “Could you make one anyway?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We don’t have the right kind of tea. Our teas are all from China and are unflavored.”

Older Woman: “Well, the only reason I walked all the way here from the motel was to get a chai latte.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any chai type tea.”

Older Woman: *makes a sour face* “Well, did you ever think about GETTING chai?” *stares at me with expectant glare*

Me: *blinks a few times*

Daughter: “Mom, let’s just go. There’s probably a [Worldwide Coffee Chain] somewhere near here.”

(They leave.)

Coworker: “Did she expect us to go out and buy some, just for her?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, she did.”

Unable To Face His Small Reality

| MI, USA | Right | October 28, 2016

(I work in the smallest size category location of a national chain. I hear Customer #1 and Customer #2 talking to each other across the aisle from me.)

Customer #1: “…don’t even have an upstairs or nothing?”

Customer #2: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Hello! Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer #1: “Is this all there is?” *gestures vaguely at the store in general*

Me: “Yup, we’re the smallest possible size [Store].”

Customer #2: “So you don’t have like comforter sets or anything?”

Me: “Not here in the store. We can order them for you, and the bigger stores carry them, but we only have clothing, accessories, shoes, and jewelry in this location.”

Customer #1: “So where’s the nearest REAL [Store]?”

(I gave the customers the names of two towns, both an hour’s drive away, that have locations with the kind of merchandise they were looking for. But I WANTED to say, “This IS a real [Store]! I get a paycheck and everything!”)

A Bit Too Cheese-Thick

| UK | Right | October 28, 2016

(The pizza place I work at has an item on the menu called cheese-sticks, which is pretty much garlic bread with cheese on a pizza base cut into sticks instead of slices.)

Customer: “Hi, can you do garlic bread with cheese, please?

Me: “Well, we have cheese-sticks which is garlic bread with cheese, just cut differently!”

Customer: “Er… no, I want garlic bread with cheese?”

Me: “That would be cheese-sticks then, sir.” *adds item to order*

Customer: “No, I want garlic bread with cheese? Can you remove cheese-sticks from the order, please?”

Me: “The cheese-sticks is garlic bread with cheese, sir, just cut differently. I can have it cut into slices if you want?”

Customer: *looks at a bunch of his friends and gives them the ‘is this girl thick’ look*

Manager: “[My Name], do what he says.” *gives me dead eye*

Me: “Garlic bread with cheese, then!” *types in cheese-sticks*

Customer: “Thanks, wasn’t too hard was it?”

Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 4

| USA | Right | October 28, 2016

Customer: “Hey, I want to rent a truck for this weekend.”

Me: “All right, sir! Let me see what’s available!” *goes through the steps*

Customer: “I need a 20′ truck.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it looks like the 20′ is unavailable.”

Customer: “How can that be? I just drove by your place, and it’s full of trucks.”

Me: “Well, sir, they’ve been reserved for this weekend.”

Customer: “But they’re right there. I just saw them.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but customers have called in advance, kinda like what you’re doing now, and claimed them for the weekend.”

Customer: “So why are they still sitting on your lot?”

Me: “Well, sir, it’s Tuesday. They haven’t been reserved until this weekend.”

Customer: “Oh, so they’re not reserved yet! Well, why can’t you reserve one for me this weekend?”

Me: “…”

That’s Rich Coming From You

| Brampton, ON, USA | Right | October 28, 2016

(I work as a sales associate at a very popular children’s store in a very busy mall. As we are cashing out a customer we are supposed to capture their email so we can send them coupons and promotions. A customer returned $300 worth of clothes and is now making a purchase.)

Me: “Would you like to leave your email so we can send you a 20% coupon for your next purchase?”

Customer: “No, I am rich.”

(I look at her with a little look of shock and she points around the store.)

Customer: “I make more money than any of you!”

(After working a full shift during ‘back to school,’ I lose my patience.)

Me: “With all due respect, if you really are as rich as you say, don’t you think it would have made more sense to donate the $300 worth of children’s clothes to a charity?”

(Customer finished the transaction, grabbed her purse, and left – flipping me off!)

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