Parking Back And Forth

| Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

Caller: “I’m leaving from your downtown terminal next week and I wanted to know if there is parking there.”

Me: “Sure! We have a small lot on our property, where you’re welcome to park if there is a spot available. There’s also a city lot, right out front, where you can park for about 3 days. And lastly, there is a pay parking lot at the office building just north of us.”

Caller: *impatiently* “I just wanted to know if there was parking there.”

Me: “Okay, great.” *thinking his question was already answered by the list of parking options*

Caller: “…so, is there?”

Reached The Tipping Point

| Huntsville, AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Money

(We are catering a Christmas party for a client and his seventy employees. The party includes an open bar and dinner. There are four servers, and two bartenders. I am a bartender. After five hours of making non-stop bar drinks, and receiving non-stop compliments on our drinks, last call arrives, and this conversation happens.)

Client: “I need to go ahead and sign the check. Can you print me one ticket for everything?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Here you are.” *hands over one complete invoice*

Client: “I needed this separate.”

Me: “Oh, yes, sir. I’m sorry. Here.” *separates food and drink tickets and hands them over*

Client: “No, this isn’t right. I need a complete ticket.”

Me: “I don’t understand. You want the tickets together?”

Client: “No! Where the h*** is [Server not working that night]? She knows how I want things done! I REQUESTED HER AND SHE ISN’T HERE TONIGHT!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know why she’s not working. Now, about the ticket…”

Client: “NO! I REQUESTED HER. She’s my friend; she knows how I want things done on the invoice. I won’t come back next year for my Christmas party if you won’t do what I want.”

Me: “If you could explain to me, I can help you.”

Client: “Never mind, I’ll just sign this ticket. Did you autograt this?”

Me: “Yes, sir, 15%.”

Client: “And you’re sharing that with everyone working tonight?                  ”

Me: “Yes, sir. Between six people.”

Client: “Well, then, that’s more than enough for you.” *signs, leaves no extra tip, and stomps out*

(He baffled the entire crew, since he spent five hours giving us nothing but compliments on our service, and never once mentioned the other server’s absence. I can only guess that when he saw the large bill, he made up a reason to be angry so he wouldn’t have to tip any extra for the incredible service we provided. Splitting the 15% between the servers, we barely made minimum wage.)

No Discount Requires A Recount

, | UT, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

(I am standing in line. There are two gentlemen in front of me who are together being helped by the cashier.)

Cashier: “Okay, your total is $36.74.”

(This total catches my attention, as this place has a high value-per-dollar. In spite of having a more-than-ample appetite myself, I can always fill up for under $6, so I am curious what two men are going to do with six people’s worth of food.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s too much. Is [Manager #1] here?”

Cashier: “Uh… I don’t know anyone by that name.”

Customer: “Really? [Manager #1] is a manager. He always gives us discounts. Can you just give us a discount?”

Cashier: “Uh… no, I really can’t.”

Customer: “Well, where’s [Manager #1]?”

Cashier: “I really don’t know. I can get a manager if you like.”

Customer: “Yeah, we want to know where [Manager #1] is.”

Cashier: “Hey, [Manager #2]!”

(Manager #2 is out of earshot, so a line cook has to relay the shout farther back in order for her to hear. She has clearly been too far away to know anything about the conversation that just transpired. Manager #2 arrives at the register.)

Manager #2: “Yes, [Cashier]?”

Cashier: “These—”

Customer: *interrupting* “Where’s [Manager #1]?”

Manager #2: “Oh, he doesn’t work here anymore.”

Customer: “Oh, really? What happened?”

Manager #2: “Yeah, apparently he kept giving out discounts to people who’d done nothing to earn them, so we had to fire him.”

(Another register opened to help me, so I didn’t hear the end of their discussion, but when I sat down with my order, they were two tables down with about $10 worth of food.)