Fools Give Vent To Their Rage

| Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

(We have a full house of baseball teams, 14-16-year-old boys. At approximately 11 pm, a mother comes up to the front desk.)

Mother: “Why is there pornography on channel 16? We obviously didn’t order anything!”

(We don’t have the option to order movies or pornography, so we look up what channel this was and find out it’s our [Cable Channel] channel playing a movie called ‘Erotic Engagement.’)

Me: “Ma’am, that is our premium channel [Cable Channel], which is commonly known for playing adult themed movies this late at night. Our suggestion would be to keep an eye on your team as to not be watching [Cable Channel] this late at night.”

Mother: “That is not [Cable Channel]. That is graphic pornography. You either refund my stay or we will check out right now.”

Me: “Ma’am, I understand your frustration, but again, we do not have pornographic channels—”

Mother: “You obviously don’t know what you are talking about and now my child is scarred for life. I hope you are happy and I hope God strikes you down for your disregard for protecting us from that filth!”

Me: “Proverbs 29:11, if you want to get biblical. Have a nice night, ma’am.”

(The scripture states: ‘Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.’)

A Backwards Understanding Of Technology

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Are you a real person?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am.”

Caller: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “How do I know you’re not just programmed to respond like that?”

Me: “Well, sir, I guess you’ll just have to take my word on it.”

Caller: “No, that’s no good. Tell ya what. Tell me the name of the current Prime Minister, but say it backwards.”

Me: “Harper, Stephen.”

Caller: “I’m still not sure I’m convinced. I think I’ll just go talk to someone at one of your stores. Bye.”

Reached Rock-Bottom Dollar, Part 2

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

(My store closes at 9:00 pm and I am the last register open on a Friday night. A couple came through my line around 8:45 with a cart full of groceries. I ring them up and finish around 8:55.)

Me: *cheerily* “That’ll be $87.95.”

Woman: “Oh, I have coupons!”

(She proceeds to take out a handful of coupons and hands them to me hastily. I scan them in.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $79.45.”

Woman: “Um, you didn’t scan them all in.”

Me: “Yes, I did, ma’am. One of them is expired so I can’t use it but the rest I scanned.”

Woman: “But you’re missing one. I gave you ten coupons and there are only eight there.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. You actually only gave me nine.”

Woman: “Well, I had ten; it was for a dollar off so just ring it in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss. I can’t put the coupon in unless you have it with you. I need it so my drawer won’t be off.”

Woman: *screams* “This is completely ridiculous!! I had ten coupons so give me my other coupon!”

Husband: “Just give it to her. It’s fine.”

Me: “No, it’s not. I’m not allowed to give you the coupon unless you have it. Sorry, it’s my job.”

(At this point the woman’s eyes looked like they were about to bug out of her head as she threw the cash on the register.)

Woman: “Just give me my change.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Your change is $19.55, have a great night.”

Woman: *huffs, grabs her cart, and sprints out of the store, husband trailing behind*

(My manager walks over and just stares after them. It is 9:15 pm at this point.)

Manager: “If anyone like that b**** bothers you again let me know so I can take care of them. People are f****** awful.”

Related:
Reached Rock-Bottom Dollar