If I Know Him I’ll Eat My Hat

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I vend at local arts and craft shows, selling handmade hats.)

Customer: “These hats are great! Do you know Sandy?”

Me: “Sandy? I don’t think so.”

Customer: “Oh c’mon! Sandy! He makes hats, too! Y’know, in Arizona? He’s famous!”

Me: “Nope. Can’t say I’ve met him.”

That Argument Went Straight In And Out

| Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(A customer wants a quote on replacing his radiator. I tell him that the repair time is listed at five hours.)

Customer: “Almost five hours to take out a rad and put another one in? It should be a simple in and out. All you have to do is remove a few hoses, bolts, and lift out the rad.”

Me: ‘If the standard labour rate is listed at just under five hours, it’s not just a simple in and out.’

Customer: “I can’t believe it would take anybody that long. Is there any way to get it done cheaper?”

Me: ‘Sure. How good are you with tools?’

Customer: “I’m not going to try do something like that!”

Me: “Even if it’s just a simple in and out?”

(Pause…)

Customer: “How does next week look?”

One Is In Sickness, The Other Is in Health

| France | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

(I am returning to a patient after we have received a call from his worried wife.)

Me: “Okay. So, we got your wife on the phone—”

Patient: “Which one?”

Me: “Which one what?”

Patient: “Which wife. I have two at the moment. She didn’t say her name?”

Me: “… No. She just said she was your wife.”

Patient: “D***.”

Me: “…”

Me: “Well, at least one of your wives is worried about you, sir.”

They’ll Toast To That

| Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am standing in line at a well-known coffee shop, fairly early in the morning. I hear this exchange between an employee and the customer in front of me.)

Customer: “Hi. Could I get a large coffee toasted with butter?”

Employee: “… Sorry?”

(The employee looks like she is trying not to laugh, when the customer suddenly notices what she’s said.)

Customer: “No! Wait! I mean a large coffee and a BAGEL toasted with butter.”

(They both burst out laughing.)

Customer: “Sorry, it’s early. Although if you’re willing to try and toast a coffee with butter, I’ll pay just to see how it turns out!”

Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength, Part Two

, | Australia | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Technology

(I work in the sporting department with another coworker. A customer comes up.)

Customer: “Hey, uh, do you have that thing? Where you put stuff in the thing and the thing turns it?”

(My coworker and I exchange confused glances.)

Me: “Sorry. What do you mean?”

Customer: *attempting to use confusing hand gestures* “You know, that thing where you put the stuff in the thing, and it turns and gets hot?”

Coworker: “You mean a microwave?”

Related:
Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength

Page 976/2,917First...974975976977978...Last
« Previous
RANDOM
Next »