First Name Problems

| Right | December 29, 2015

99dba268a39bd9ef580c6ca9903884d1

Fails To Sea The Level

| Maui, HI, USA | Right | December 29, 2015

(I am working a beachfront restaurant with a clear view of the beach and ocean.)

Tourist: “How high above sea level are we?”

(I look at him then at the water and then back to him:)

Me: “I don’t know about you but I’m about four feet.”

(They were facing the water…)

Doesn’t Know What Dang Beef She Wants

| Australia | Right | December 29, 2015

(I work at a little Southeast Asian curry take-away place, and we have ten different curries, and three sizes. Among that we have rendang and Penang beef.)

Customer: “I’ll have the beef.”

Me: “Which one?”

Customer: *says something like pedang, redang, renang, rendang, and pointing at the opposite one they wanted*

Me: “Okay, cool. Which size?”

Customer: “Meal size.”

Me: “…!!!”

Threatened By Your Own Threat

| Tacoma, WA, USA | Right | December 29, 2015

(It’s a typical busy time with folks who’ve just gotten off from work dropping by to grab smokes, beer, drinks, snacks, or other sundries on their way home. A man who appears to be, at the most, 21 years old has approached the counter asking for cigarettes but doesn’t have any ID on him. The typical bouts of arguing and cussing from him followed by me stating it’s policy and I have to card him ensues, up until he pulls out his phone and brandishes it at me like a weapon.)

Customer: “All right, let’s try this in a way that you might understand. I’m a personal friend of the head honcho of this chain. I press a few numbers on my phone, say a few words to him, and he will literally give me the order to fire you and boot you out the door myself!”

(A pause ensues as I try to process if he’s being serious.)

Customer: “Hey, you listening to me? Give me the d*** smokes or your worthless a** is going to be hitting the pavement outside.”

(I lean to the side and look at the line behind him.)

Me: “Sir, do you know how to run the register here?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Have you been trained in the pricing of items or our stock?”

Customer: “What? No!”

Me: “Do you know the codes to our safe? How to make change? How to mop and clean the store? How to lock up?”

Customer: “I just said, no!”

Me: “Then I feel I should point out that if you do get me fired there will be no one to ring up you or any of the folk behind you as it’s just me running the store today. Kick me out and you’ll basically be ensuring no one can buy anything from here, meaning you’ll also have to send everyone away empty handed and probably lose the store a lot of money. I don’t think your friend will like that.”

(The customer pauses and looks again at the growing number of folks, many of whom are now looking rather annoyed.)

Man In Line: “I just finished a 12-hour shift. All I want is to buy some beer, go home, and relax. If you’re going to tell me I can’t do that simply because of your own incompetence in not bringing ID then your friend, the head honcho, is going to be getting a very strongly-worded complaint. Probably it’ll be more than one considering how many of us are waiting for you to finish your business!”

(Several other customers voice their agreement, causing the problem customer to scowl.)

Customer: “Man, f*** this! I’m not wasting any more time here!”

(He storms out and I start serving the man who spoke up.)

Me: “Just goes to show most folks like him don’t actually think about the logistics of their threats before screaming their heads off. After all, if it weren’t for us lowly workers they’d have to be the ones doing all these menial jobs.”

1 Thumbs
1,077
VOTES

A Tale Of Two Cities

| Madison, WI, USA | Right | December 29, 2015

(I am delivering to an address which seemed like it was out of our range. I get to the business and go upstairs. A lady helps me to the unmarked room of the woman who has ordered. I knock on the door…)

Woman: “Oh! You’re here. I didn’t even get a phone call. You know, the new guy you have there doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Me: “Oh?”

Woman: “He said I was in a different city.”

(Since she was out of our range, he recommended that she call the store that was in range. It happened to technically be in a different city.)

Me: “Well, I believe this store is a little out of our range.”

Woman: “Well, you figured out how to get here. It wasn’t that far, was it?”

(She digs around in her purse… babbling on as she does so.)

Me: “That will be $6.11.”

(She’s holding on to $7.00, but still wants to find the coins. She finds a quarter and starts handing me the money. She then realizes her “error” and takes back a dollar leaving me a whopping 14-cent tip!)

Me: “Would you like change for that?” *okay, so I had to be a bit of an a**-hole*

Woman: “No, you can keep it.”

(I’m gonna put the 14 cents in my piggy bank and someday I may be able to afford a gumball…)

Page 975/3,937First...973974975976977...Last
« Previous
Next »