Keeping It One Place Is EXACTLY What A Store Does

| Sault Ste. Marie, MI, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

Customer: “Where are your Jean Auel books?”

Me: “Oh, those are in historical fiction, the next aisle over.”

Customer: “Ugh, why can’t you put everything in the same place so I don’t have to walk?”

Not In His Salad Days Anymore

, | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Military

(I am a civilian contractor at a military installation’s dining hall. Unlike some of the comfort facilities at the installation, we don’t have restrictions on who can dine here; as long as they can access the installation, they can eat. It is my turn to tear down the salad bar at the end of dinner. I have taken out all of the utensils and begun to pull the dishes, when an older man in civilian clothing comes up behind me.)

Customer: “What are you doing with the salad bar?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Did you order a salad?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted to get a few of these.” *gestures at the fruit mix at the end of the bar*

Me: “So, you did order a salad bar?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted to get a few of these.”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “Oh, you mean I have to order a salad bar to get things from the salad bar?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Artificial Unintelligence, Part 2

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Welcome to the support team. You’re speaking with [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Check claim status.”

(I realise he thinks I’m a recording.)

Me: “Not a problem, sir. Can I ask which service your claim was for?”

Caller: “Skip questions.”

Me: “Um… sir, I do need to know the details of your claim so I can track it?”

Caller: “Eugh! Stupid machine… SKIP questions!”

Me: “Um.. I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not a machine. I need to know—”

Caller: “Main menu!”

Me: “Sir, I’m not a recording. I can help with your enquiry, but I have to ask a few questions first.”

Caller: “Oh, thank god. A person!”

Related:
Artificial Unintelligence

The Collapse Of Human Decency

, | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Top

(I work in the fuel kiosk at a popular chain grocery store. There is only one person in the kiosk at a time, unless cash office people are counting the safe money. I have not been feeling well, but come into work anyways.)

Cash Office Worker: “Could you shut the safe for me?”

Me: “Sure.” *notice a customer at the window and stand* “Hi, how can I—”

(Suddenly I get very dizzy and pass out, hitting my head on the concrete floor. When I come to, my coworker is standing over me.)

Cash Office Worker: “The manager is on his way, and an ambulance. Don’t try to sit up yet. Are you cold? Do you hurt anywhere?”

Customer: “ISN’T ANYONE GOING TO F****** HELP ME?!”

Cash Office Worker: “He’s been yelling for about two minutes now, even though he saw you pass out.”

(The manager comes running into the kiosk.)

Manager: “Is she okay? The ambulance is almost here. I heard the sirens.”

Me: “I’m okay but I think my head is bleeding.”

Customer: “ARE YOU THE MANAGER? GET YOUR LAZY-A** EMPLOYEES TO DO THEIR F****** JOBS!”

Manager: “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

(The customer not only stood there and yelled the entire time, but later filed a complaint against me!)

Top 5 Funniest Stories Of July 2014

Not Always Right | Roundups

July 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for last month!

  1. Didn’t Have The Backbone To Say It (2,786 thumbs up)
  2. Wants The Number Of The Devil (2,425 thumbs up)
  3. A Bark As Bad As The Bite (2,286 thumbs up)
  4. Filled With Creamy Justice (2,166 thumbs up)
  5. That Snobby Attitude Isn’t Working For You (1,992 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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