Fractionally More Stupid

| Greenville, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I have recently started working in the deli of a grocery store.)

Me: “Hello. How are you today, miss?”

Customer: “Hi, I would like some [Brand] ham please.”

Me: “Sure, and how much of the [Brand] ham would you like?”

Customer: *thinking* “Um… I’ll take about a quarter — no! I’ll take less than that. I want more than a third of a pound, but no more than one quarter pound!”

(I tried my best not to laugh at the fact that a third is actually MORE than a fourth (difference between 0.33 and 0.25 respectively). I ended up slicing her one fifth instead. No wonder there’s a math joke saying that ‘5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions!’)

Seeing The Funny Side Of The Complaint

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am the assistant manager at a video rental store in a very small town. Most of the people who work here are friends outside the job. The store manager calls me and another girl into his office because there has been a complaint from a customer. He has to work really hard keeping a straight face while he tells us:)

Manager: “A lady has complained that you were smiling too much while you worked. I made her repeat herself twice because I couldn’t figure out what her complaint was. She got mad and said ‘your employees enjoy their jobs too much; work shouldn’t be fun!'”

(Since it was such a small town, it wasn’t very hard to figure out who the sour puss was and we made sure to put on our super serious faces whenever she came in. I’m not sure how effective it was since we’d always dissolve into fits of giggles whenever she wasn’t looking.)

You Just Drank PP

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(A lady and her husband walk into the store and order two medium coffees, one with milk, and one with double cream and double sugar. It is required that we mark the lid in order to determine whose beverage is whose, so I mark the drink with double cream and double sugar. Usually for this I write ‘dd’ on the lid. I put the drink on the counter, and the lady walks over to pick up her drink. She looks at the drink and asks me why I put two ‘p’s on the lid.)

Me: “Ma’am, those are ‘d’s. The drink is facing the opposite way”.

Her: “Why don’t you put the proper “D”s on the lid?”

Me: “I use that to indicate decaf coffee.”

Her:“But the ‘d’ is not a real letter anyway; learn to write properly next time.” *walks off in a huff*