Go From Feeling Low To Feeling J-Lo

| Cornelius, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I am checking out a customer and her young son.)

Me: “Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

(Meanwhile her little boy is staring at me open mouthed. I figure it’s because I’m a little shorter, not as skinny as his mom, and have thick poofy hair that looks like it belongs to a witch. But I smile at him.)

Me: “Hi!”

Little Boy: *in awe* “Mommy! She’s pretty like Jennifer Lopez!”

Me: *stares back in shock as my heart melts* “Aww! Compliment lying already! You’re going to make your girlfriend very happy when you get older!”

You Haven’t Seen Anything Yette

| USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I help a mother find a dress for her daughter for a special occasion. It is really busy since it is prom season but we are able to find a dress. She is a bit demanding, but we try to accommodate as much as we can. Before deciding, we are talking about possibilities for alterations.)

Customer: “So the dress will be finished by then, RIGHT?”

Me: “Yes, I assure that it will all be fixed by then.”

Customer: “It better be since I’m paying all of this money for one dress.”

Me: “Well, if you prefer, there is another place that does alterations right around the corner. If you want, we can leave the dress on hold so you can check to see if their prices are within your price range.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to. It’s such a hassle.”

Me: “All right, then.”

(My coworker turns to me for help.)

Coworker: “How do you spell ‘corset?'”

Me: “C-O-R-S-E-T.”

Customer: “…T-E! It is spelled; C-O-R-S-E-T-T-E.”

Me: *sighs with an awkward smile*

Some Parenting Choices Can’t Be Made Up

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I am stocking the make-up aisle in a large drug store. A customer is next to me trying on lipstick at the stand I am filling, with her three-year-old son sat on the floor next to her. I see him take the lid off a tube of foundation and raise it to his mouth.)

Me: “Miss, you might want to stop your kid before he eats that. It won’t be good for him.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah.”

(Without looking away from the mirror she is using to try the lipstick, she pats the boy on the head.)

Customer: “Don’t do that.”

(The kid ate the foundation while his oblivious mother continued to test the products, and I moved away before I said something I’d regret.)

Theme Of The Park Is All Natural

| New River Gorge, WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

Customer: “How do you get the boat to spin like we just did? Is it hooked up to wires?”

Me: “Um… ma’am, we are rafting on a river. This is not a ride. There are no wires.”

Customer: “I thought this was a ride, like at a theme park.”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is a real river.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Guess I better not fall out, then.” *continues paddling*

Got Him Out Of A Pickle

| AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(It is nearing the end of my shift and I am busy with cleaning the lobby since I have no customers. A girl’s volleyball team from one of the local schools enters and I wait on them. When they sit at their tables, they begin getting quite loud and obnoxious, deliberately spilling their meals everywhere, and some even throwing pickles at the window and seeing if they could really race them as they slid down, like in the movie ‘Billy Madison.’ While they are getting ready to leave, I am getting the mop bucket and such ready to clean up the mess straight away. The coach of the volleyball team stops me.)

Coach: “Give me those.”

Me: “Oh, no, sir. It’s quite all right. This is just part of my job.”

Coach: “I understand that, but my girls were very irresponsible tonight. I need to teach them this kind of behavior is not acceptable.”

(In a surprised daze, I give all my cleaning supplies over to the man and he gathers up all the girls.)

Coach: *to his team* “You think this kind of behavior is funny? That you can just come in here, make complete fools of yourself, trash the place up, and just leave? I expected better from all of you. I hope you all have as much fun doing this young man’s job for him as you had making this mess.”

(The coach forced his entire team to clean up the mess, from sweeping to mopping to cleaning off the windows, until the entire lobby was clean. The entire time he watched with a look of disappointment. I applauded the man for taking amazing action with teaching a lesson above and beyond a spot.)

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