A Calculated Attack

| USA | Right | August 10, 2015

(I am working in a coffee shop, getting ready to leave. There is a girl there who is usually very quiet. She is a year older than me and it looks like she had been studying math. She is carrying a large graphing calculator on top of her binder and she is walking out the same time I am.)

Girl: *drops her graphing calculator and it hits me* “You have just been attacked by the power of math.”

We All Scream For The Wrong Ice Cream

| NE, USA | Right | August 10, 2015

(I’m stocking product in an aisle while two older gentlemen are browsing through it. One is practically shouting into his phone.)

Customer #1: *on phone* “HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF CHIPOLLETA ICE CREAM?”

Customer #2: “GELATO!”

Customer #1: *on phone* “GELATO ICE CREAM?”

Can’t Think Under The Box

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Right | August 9, 2015

Customer: *calling* “You didn’t give me my entire order.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what was your order?”

Customer: “I got a 16-piece family meal, and you didn’t give me my fries!”

(I had bagged the order myself, and knew the fries were in a box in the same bag as the box of hushpuppies.)

Me: “Did you look under the hushpuppies?”

Customer: “Yes, there is nothing in there but the hushpuppies.”

Me: “No, not the same box as the hushpuppies. Did you take the hushpuppies out and look under them?”

Customer: “Yes. We took ALL the hushpuppies out. There aren’t any fries in here at all. We are coming back up to get our money back.”

Me: *sigh* “Did you take the hushpuppies out of the box, or did you take the box out of the bag?”

Customer: “We took the hushpuppies out.”

Me: “Take the box out of the bag.”

Customer: “Oh, there’s a whole ‘nother box here.”

Me: *in Bill Engvall voice* “Here’s your fries!”

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Use Your Inside Voice Invoice

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Right | August 9, 2015

(I work in a cafe and store that serves a large corporate staff which works in the building, and only them. I am in the back office working on orders and balancing accounts when I overhear an exchange between a member of my staff and a customer escalating.)

Cashier: “Okay, ma’am, all told that will be $11.30.”

Customer: “Ya’ll are too f****** proud of your f****** food. No way in h*** am I paying that!”

Cashier: “I am sorry, ma’am, but all our prices are clearly posted and this is the total for the items you have selected.”

Customer: “Like h***! I worked in food, I know how it works, and this is overpriced! I want to see your b****-a** manager; where’s he hiding!?”

(I come out of the office and address the customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, I have heard, quite clearly, everything you have said, and I assure you the prices are right.”

Customer: “Prove it. Prove that the s*** cost you four bucks!”

(I dig through my paperwork and find the appropriate invoice and bring it out to the customer. She looks through it with an expert eye.)

Customer: “See! F*** you! This s*** should have only been like $13!”

Cashier: “Okay, ma’am, that’ll be $13.”

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I Too Like To Live Dangerously

| Right | August 9, 2015

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