A Major Minor Mishap

, | Wales, UK | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I am 15 years old, and I work in my cousin’s burger van or cafe during the school breaks. Often I will be in the kiosk late at night when all the clubs close while my cousin is still working. One night a group of guys in their 30s comes up, slightly drunk, and ordered a bunch of food.)

Customer #1: “You having fun tonight?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Customer #2: “Oh, god, leave her alone, dude!”

Me: *laughs nervously*

Customer #1: “Oh, come on… Hey, you see that sausage on the hotplate?”

Me: “Uh, yeah?”

Customer #1: “I could give you double the sausage on that hotplate if you come back with me.”

Me: “Oh, is that so?”

Customer #1: “Oh yeah, totally.”

(I laugh and let him carry on, his friends just laughing at him.)

Me: “So, I’m curious. Do you always talk to minors like that?”

Customer #1: “What?!”

Me: “Well, I’m 15.”

(Customer #1 runs off in a hurry without his order, red faced.)

Customer #2: “Well, he won’t live that down any time soon!”

Can Give An Inch In A Pinch

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I’m a barista at a well known coffee chain. I only work the opening shift, which means I’m at the store at 5:30 am. This customer comes in around 6:15 am.)

Me: “Morning. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Americano.”

Me: “Sure. Do you need room for cream?”

(I think he answers no. I make the Americano, and fill the cup to the top, leaving no room for cream.)

Me: “Here’s your Americano. Have a great day!”

Customer: “You call this room?”

Me: “Sorry! I must have misheard you. I can pour some out for you, if you’d like.”

Customer: “Yes, please. Pour out about an inch.”

(I pour out a good inch of the beverage and hand it back to the guy.)

Customer: “You call this an inch? Clearly men have been lying to you your whole life, dear.”

(He immediately walks away, while I stand there, suffering from shock.)

Manager: “Did he just say what I think he said?”

Hard Drive Does Not Drive A Hard Sale

| MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Video Game Store], where you can trade in your old games and save. This is [My Name] . How may I help you?”

Phone Customer: “Hi. I was wondering that if I buy a Grand Theft Auto V, and my Xbox doesn’t have a hard drive, will I have to buy a hard drive? I can’t really afford to spend that much money right now.”

Me: “Well, sir, I can save you a bit by telling you another option. You can get a flash drive to store the GTA V install; they are much cheaper than buying an internal hard drive.”

Phone Customer: “So like a SanDisk or something like that?”

Me: “You bet. We’ve even got them in stock right now!”

Phone Customer: “Okay, thanks! I’m just calling from the supermarket across the street. I’ll just get them here. Bye!” *click*

The Slippery Subject Of Price

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A customer puts bananas on the conveyor belt at my till. I pick them up and type the

number for the bananas in.)

Customer: “Wait up. The bananas are [price] for one set of bananas, not [price] for one single banana.”

Me: “No. We have no scales here so the price of fruit is per single item.”

Customer: “You didn’t explain that fast enough so I’m not getting them.”

Birthright Is Wrong

| Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Language & Words

Customer: “Oh! What an interesting accent! Which country are you from?”

Me: “Thank you. I was born here, but my dad is Northumbrian, so I have a bit of his accent.”

Customer: “So when did you arrive in Australia?”

Me: “I never left. I was born here.”

Customer: “No, that’s impossible. I don’t think you were. In fact, I KNOW you weren’t.”

Me: “So, it’s impossible for my mother to have me in Australia with my dad, who migrated from the UK and has a strong accent that I picked up?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I was born here in Australia, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, you keep thinking that.” *winks and leaves the store*

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