Very Time (Un)Conscious

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Time

(I am the receptionist for a chiropractor’s office. A patient had just phoned in to book an appointment.)

Me: “Good Morning! Dr. [Name]’s office. How may I help you?”

Patient: “Hi, yes, I’d like to book an appointment for this morning?”

Me: “Sure thing. I have 10:00 am if that suits you?”

Patient: “Eeeeeh, I need something earlier.”

Me: “Well I also have 9:00 or 9:15.”

Patient: “That’s too soon. I need to stop at the bank and stuff first.”

Me: “Well… I might be able to get you in for 9:45.”

Patient: “I guess I’ll just try that. I might be a little later though.”

Me: “Well, I do still have that 10:00.”

Patient: “No! That’s too late!”

Me: “Okay…  We’ll see you then.”

More Taxing To Some People

| Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer brings a pack of gum to the counter. The MSRP, 69 cents, is printed on it.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be 75 cents.”

Customer: *practically yelling* “No, it says 69 cents right here!”

Me: “Yes, and sales tax makes it 75.”

Customer: “Tax is 8 cents to a dollar, and this is less than a dollar, so there isn’t supposed to be any tax on it!”

Me: “That’s… that’s not how sales tax works…”

(He left without buying the gum.)

Expecting A High Level Of Service

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work at a large department store. I am working the closing shift in the men’s clothing department one night. Two young adults come over to look at the underwear, and they reek of marijuana. As I get closer to them, they stop me to ask me a question.)

Customer #1: “Do you work here?”

Me: *pleasantly* “Yes, I do. How can I—”

Customer #1: “Woah. You act like you don’t even wanna deal with us.”

Customer #2: “Yeah. S***…”

Me: “I’m sorry… What can I help you w—”

Customer #2: “Nah, nah, never mind.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, you already treats bad, as a… customer.”

Customer #2: “I won’t come back.”

(They leave, and I am left to ponder what I could have possibly done. Later, I told my supervisor.)

Supervisor: *laughing* “What? What was their problem?”

Me: “High as kites.”

Supervisor: “Ah. Of course. Say no more.”

Happy Hypocritical Holidays!

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(I’m waiting for a supermarket to open. It’s a public holiday and so the opening hours are a bit different to normal.)

Lady: “Why is it taking so long to open?”

Me: “It’s a public holiday. They open later than normal.”

Lady: “But it’s a Monday! They should be opening at regular time. I’ve been here almost an hour!”

Me: “So you’re going to work today?”

Lady: “Pfft, no, it’s a holiday. No one works on holidays.”

Customers Like To Give You A Pizza Their Dirty Mind

| MI, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I and two other coworkers are on break in back room, having some pizza, when another coworker comes to grab some pizza. Everyone else is already sitting down and eating so he remains standing, eats some, and exclaims:)

Coworker: “This is sooo good. I could eat this every day.”

(After which I hear someone add on to that saying:)

Passer By: “Just like sex.”

(Everyone else continues eating and doesn’t say anything, until my coworker standing at the table asks:)

Coworker: “Did anyone else hear that guy?”

Me: “Yeah, the one that said ‘just like sex’?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I thought I was the only one who heard him.”

Me: “That’s what I thought, too.”

(We burst out laughing, then promptly close the doors so random creepers would stop eavesdropping or contributing creepiness.)

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