Black Friday Through The Years

| Right | November 27, 2015

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An Unrewarding Experience

| St. John's, NL, Canada | Right | November 27, 2015

(I work as a supervisor at a grocery store, and we have just launched a new rewards card for the store, and started asking every customer with their order if they want to get the new card. I am called over to this exchange between a cashier:)

Me: “Hi, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Your cashier is trying to track me.”

Me: “Excuse me?” *I exchange glances with my cashier, who is very confused, too*

Customer: “What don’t you understand?”

Me: “How is she trying to track you?”

Customer: “She wants me to sign up for this card so the government can see everything I buy and everywhere I go.”

(I almost start laughing, before I realize he is serious.)

Me: “Sir, this card is just a rewards card for us to keep competitive with [Competitor].”

Customer: “I don’t shop there because they’re trying to track me, too. This government wants to get me. I’ve gotta get out of here.”

(The customer proceeded to walk out of the story, leaving his groceries behind, and I haven’t seen him since.)

A Cent-less Discount

| Windsor, ON, Canada | Right | November 27, 2015

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name], and how is it I can assist you this evening?”

Customer: “MY SERVICE HAS BEEN OUT FOR AN HOUR AND HALF! FIX IT NOW!”

Me: “All right, sir. I can definitely assist you with that.”

(I go through basic troubleshooting and resolve the issue.)

Me: “All right, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?”

Customer: “YEAH! HOW DO YOU PLAN TO COMPENSATE ME FOR THIS?!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How do you plan to compensate me for this? I wasn’t able to use my service for an hour and a half. I had to just sit here with nothing to do, and then I’ve been on the phone with you for an hour and a half, and I want compensation!”

Me: “Okay, so you were out for an hour and a half and spent 15 minutes on the phone with me, and you want compensation. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes, and how much is that going to be?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir, let me check your bill and I’ll find out.”

(Since throughout the entire call the customer had been rude and screaming at me I decide I am going to go completely by the book and not just give him a 5 dollar credit, like I normally would. After checking his bill and calculating it down perfectly to the hour and 45 minutes I come back to the phone and inform him:)

Me: “All right, sir, so after calculating how much it cost you for the hour and 45 minutes you were out of service, it comes to a grand total of 37 cents. Would you like me to apply this to your bill?”

Customer: “Oh, h***, no! I want more than that. I want your supervisor!”

Me: “Well, unfortunately my supervisor is not available at this time of night, and it cost you 37 cents for that hour and a half and how long you’ve been speaking to me. Now, is there anything else I can assist you with?”

Customer: “No!” *click*

(I did apply the 37 cents credit just to rub it in his face for being such an unpleasant person.)

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The Jewel Fool

| USA | Right | November 27, 2015

(I’m in the TSA pre-check line, since I have *paid* for clearance for such. Recently, the policy has been that flyers over 65 get automatic pre-check, for the most part. In front of me in the security screening line is an older woman, who I assume got the “elderly flyer” clearance.)

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, you need to remove your jewelry to go through the metal detector. You can probably go through with a single necklace or ring, but not with the numerous pieces you’re wearing. If you have something really valuable, we can hold it within your sight while you walk through.”

Elderly Flyer: “I’m not letting any of my very valuable jewelry out of my sight… It’ll be fine; just let me through.”

TSA Agent: “We can’t really stop you from trying… Please walk through the metal detector.”

(Of course the metal detector goes nuts with her piles of jewelry, but despite TSA’s requests to take the jewelry off or step aside, she continues ranting and raving and blocking the metal detector so that no one else can proceed. Eventually, they get her off to the side, and let people behind her go through the metal detector. I don’t remove my wedding set since I know that it doesn’t contain enough metal to set off the detectors, but that is literally the only metal on my person.)

Elderly Flyer: “NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE! She just walked through the metal detector wearing a hunk of a rock, and you didn’t hold her up for one second. Why am I being persecuted?”

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, she was wearing just one ring, and a typical wedding ring won’t set off the detectors. You are wearing several necklaces, bracelets, and rings. You don’t have to take it all off, but more than one necklace, bracelet, or ring will probably set off the detectors, and then we have to re-screen you. Again, if any one of your pieces of jewelry are very valuable, we can hold it while you walk through the metal detector, and it will never be out of your sight.”

Elderly Flyer: “I just don’t understand why I’m being subject to such intense screening. I’m an innocent old lady!”

Me: *finally snapping* “Look, lady, you were put in this line just because you are old. If you were even a few years younger, you’d be standing in a long line downstairs and have to take not only your jewelry, but also shoes and coat off, plus remove the iPad I saw you using a few minutes ago from your bag, and I’m going to bet you have liquids in your bag you didn’t have to remove, either. I paid $100 and went through a background check and in-person interview to use this line… You got here for free because you are old. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. If they asked me to take my wedding set off because it set the metal detector off, I would do it, even though it’s worth at least 10 times what all your costume jewelry is. Take your jewelry off, put it through the x-ray machine, and GET OVER IT.”

(She stood there mouth agape that someone would tell her what’s what. The TSA agent at the end of the line, where I was retrieving my carry on, gave me a discreet high-five.)

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Bird Brained, Part 11

| USA | Right | November 27, 2015

(I have just bought four cups of nectar to feed the rainbow lorikeets at the zoo. After finding a somewhat calm place to stand, I make no indication I notice the birds and am soon covered in them. The birds are only going towards the adults and older (quieter) kids. The younger kids start coming over to me trying to get birds to jump onto them and drink out of their cups.)

Kid: “You’ve got so many birds! I want one!”

Me: “Here, just stand next to me and don’t move. They’ll come right over!”

(He stands next to me but squeals every time a bird comes near him and scares it away. Then his mom comes over.)

Mom: “Oh, wow! You have so many birds with you! Can you pass one to my son?”

Me: “I’ll try, but the birds don’t like noise. If he can stand still and quiet they’ll land on him.”

(I try to pass a bird to the kids hand but it jumps back to mine.)

Mom: “Stop hogging all the birds! This is really unfair to the kids!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just been standing here. The birds are coming to me.”

Mom: “So you should be passing them to the kids, then! This is a zoo! This is a place for CHILDREN, not immature adults!”

Me: “You’re being very rude. I’ve already tried passing the birds off but it’s not my fault if they don’t want to sit with them. The zoo is a place for anyone to enjoy, not just kids.”

(She doesn’t respond but starts trying to grab birds off of me or shoo them away. One of them starts squawking and bites her.)

Mom: “Ugh! This zoo is atrocious! How dare they have such untrained, disgusting animals allowed to hurt people!”

(She stormed off to complain to a zookeeper.)

 

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