Say Your Prayers

| Guilford, NY, USA | Right | August 12, 2015

(I work as a waiter at a religious Jewish camp. The way we normally clear the tables is tie up the ends, remove anything reusable or of value that was left behind, and drag the whole thing into the trash. One night I just cleared one of my tables when one of my campers and her counselor walk in.)

Me: *smiling* “Hey, what’s up?”

Camper: “I left my pink siddur (Jewish prayer book) behind.”

(I search the shelves, benches, and floor to see if it was picked up or fell somewhere, but I can’t find it.)

Me: “Where’s the last place you remember seeing it?”

(She points to table I just cleared. I stare in horror and rush to the trash can I just dumped the tablecloth and all of the night’s meal into. I shuffle the can around to see if I can see anything but no dice. I look back up at her.)

Me: *beginning to panic* “Are you sure you left it on the table?”

(She nods yes. I look back down at the trash. This was a religious item so it was extremely important. I roll up my sleeve and reach into the trash. I shuffle and move things around, looking for any hint of a pink prayer book. Instead I touch all the leftovers the kids didn’t finish. After a while I bring my arm out, apologize and go to wash my entire arm with soap. Twice. When I come back I begin to apologize to her again but she that’s when she interrupts me with a realization.)

Camper: “Wait a minute! My friend borrowed it from me after dinner!”

Me: *staring at her long and hard while trying not to laugh at the situation and what I just did for her* “YOU TELL ME THAT NOW?!”

(I became her favorite waiter from that point on.)

Unfair Daycare

, | Richmond, VA, USA | Right | August 12, 2015

(I work at a gym daycare. We have a very strict policy that we cannot watch a child for more than three hours per day. Also, parents MUST be in the building while we are watching their children. A man (who was wearing no workout clothing) walks in with his two daughters.)

Customer: “Hi, this is my first time dropping my kids off here. Do I need to sign anything?”

Me: “Yes, sir, just sign here!”

(I hand him a “first time” liability waiver and he glances over it.)

Customer: “Three hours? That’s it?”

Me: “Uh, yes, sir… we aren’t allowed to watch children for more than three hours per day.”

Customer: “Well, all right, I guess.” *signs waiver*

Me: “Okay, you’re all set; have a good workout, sir!”

(He walks out. Our gym is quite large so I assumed he brought workout clothes and planned on changing. Three hours go by and he’s yet to pick up his daughters. After multiple announcements over the PA system I decide to investigate. Turns out he’s nowhere to be found in the entire gym. The gym manager pulls up his contact information and calls him.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Manager: “Hi, is this Mr. [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Manager: “This is [Gym] and we have your daughters… It’s been well over three hours and you aren’t allowed to leave the building if your children are in daycare.”

Customer: “But… I’m at work right now. I don’t get off for another five hours. You’re going to have to watch them until I’m off work.”

Manager: “Sir, we are not a daycare. We are a fitness club. We can only watch your children if you’re in the building working out.”

Customer: “Then why do you call it a daycare?! I can’t just leave work right now!”

Manager: “Sir, if you don’t come get your children we will have no choice but to call the police.”

Customer: “What? You can’t do that! I signed a form saying I could keep my children there!”

Manager: “That’s correct; the form you signed specifically mentions that guardians are not allowed to leave the building or keep their children here for more than three hours.”

Customer: “All right, fine!”

(He hung up. Twenty minutes later he came and picked up his daughters. My manager informed him that he was no longer allowed to keep his children in our care, and he subsequently cancelled his gym membership.)

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How To Fry Their Canadian Bacon

, | Quebec, QC, Canada | Right | August 12, 2015

(I’m a European immigrant: I don’t necessarily look foreign, as I’ve been told by some… But I sound foreign. While serving an older customer:)

Customer: “And what race are you?”

Me: “I’m from the human race, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, of course? I mean what “race” are you?”

Me: “There are no race among humans, ma’am. If you want to know my phenotype, I’m Caucasian, like you.”

Customer: “I’m a proud Canadian!”

Me: “That’s your nationality, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, uh, I’m never shopping here again!”

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Making This Harder Than It Needs To Be

| TX, USA | Right | August 12, 2015

(I run a small bookstore that specializes in first edition hardbacks. We had our fair share of weird requests. One day, a lady calls to see if we have a book.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m looking for a book but I can’t remember the title.”

Me: “Okay. Who was it written by?”

Caller: “I can’t remember that either.”

Me: “Do you remember what the book was about? That would help me narrow it down.”

Caller: “Can’t you just list the books you have in the store? I’m sure I would know the name if I heard it.”

Me: “Ma’am, you seriously want me to list the 18,000 books we have in stock, over the phone?”

Caller: “Would it help if I told you it was a hardback book?”

Me: “Ma’am. We only sell hardback books.”

Caller: “Then just list them and like I told you before, I’ll know it when I hear it.”

Not Always Right: The Comic – Fifty Shades Of (Christian) Grey

, | OR, USA | Right | August 11, 2015
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