Not Noteworthy Enough For A Return

| Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I work as a cashier in a drugstore. I see a customer come in the front door empty handed as he goes to the back of the store. He comes to me with a pricey protein pack.)

Customer: “I want my money back for that protein pack. It’s $60.”

Me: “Do you have your invoice?”

Customer: “No, I forgot it at home.”

Me: “I can’t pay you back.”

Customer: “Keep it for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

(The customer comes back 15 minutes later.)

Customer: “I didn’t find the receipt, but I’m going to buy it instead.”

Me: “It’s going to cost $60.”

(The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

Me: “I can’t accept that. It’s a fake.”

Customer: “No, I’m sure it’s real. How can you tell?”

Me: “You only printed it on one side, and it’s black and white.”

Taking The Credit And The Blame

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I work in a newsagent that sells prepaid credit for mobile phones. The computer that prints out an individualised code to redeem the credit is unable to perform refunds so it is important that our staff triple checks the transaction before we hit the final OKAY. Sometimes customers would find this a little irritating. It was especially important because two of the different phone companies you could buy credit with had similar names. One was one of the major phone companies in Australia, the other very rarely purchased.)

Me: “Sir, I would just like to confirm that you would like to purchase $30 credit to use with your [Less Popular Brand] phone company.”

Customer: “For the last time, yes. How many times do you have to ask me?”

Me: “I do apologise, sir, but we are required to ask twice per transaction because I cannot give you a refund if you change your mind. I have asked you a third time to be extra careful because you have ordered the [Less Popular Brand] which people often misread as the [Popular Brand] one.”

Customer: “It is absolutely right. It is 100% definitely the [Less Popular Brand].”

(I complete the transaction and wish him a wonderful afternoon with a large grin, despite his grumpy attitude. Half an hour later, he storms back into the store, demanding to talk to my manager.)

Customer: “This d*** b**** sold me the wrong f****** credit! I want a refund! I am going to buy my credit card from the other f****** newsagent in the shopping centre!”

(He continued to rant for another ten minutes before my manager realised it wasn’t worth the hassle and gave him a refund. Note: he did go to the other newsagent to buy his phone credit but I don’t think he realised it was the same franchise, with the same owners.)

Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 3

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Most of the products in our bakery are dusted with flour. I am running the register when a customer walks up with a dusted loaf of bread.)

Customer: “I wanted to ask: what is this white powder on the bread?”

Me: “It’s just flour, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, then I can’t buy this then.”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “I’m buying this for my daughter, and she can’t eat gluten. Don’t you know? Flour has gluten in it.”

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 2
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Religion

(I’m not a thin woman, but never considered myself to be HUGE. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and it makes it very hard to get my weight to go down, so I’m kind of touchy about it.)

Customer #1: “Aw, when are you due?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Were you just talking to me?”

Customer #1: “Yes, when is your baby due?”

Me: *quietly, so as not to embarrass either of us any further* “I’m not pregnant, miss; I’m just a little large.”

Customer #1: *quite loudly* “What! That’s not a little large. You’re huge! You look like you could pop at any second!”

Me: “Um, well, I’m sorry, but I’m not pregnant, and I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your comments to yourself.”

Customer #1: “It is my duty by God to inform you that you are living an unhealthy lifestyle and gluttony will lead you straight to Hell. What do you weigh? 500lbs!?”

Me: *now on the verge of tears, as EVERY customer is looking at us* “Ma’am, please keep your voice down. First off, no, I weigh 220lbs. I lead a very active lifestyle. I have a disease that makes it hard for me to lose weight. Please, you’re embarrassing me.”

(Another customer, who has witnessed the conversation, approaches.)

Customer #2: “Miss, you need to stop. I can clearly see your upsetting her.”

Customer #1: “NO! She must learn the dangers of her ways. It’s not too late for her to repent and change. You get down on your knees right now and beg God for forgiveness and you’ll be saved.”

(At this, she actually pulls a bible from her bag and starts waving it at me.)

Me: “Ma’am, please just buy your items. You’re upsetting me. Please.”

Customer #2: “Ma’am, I’m going to call the police if you do not stop this.”

(I am now crying as the customer is reading furiously from one random passage of the bible, almost screaming. She notices I have a bowl of candy on the table next to the register. She picks it up and flings it.)

Customer #1: “You see! It’s these that cause that! Gluttony! You’ll burn if you don’t repent!”

Me: “Those are for children! I don’t even like suckers!”

Customer #2: *tries to take her by the arm and lead her from the store she smacks him in the head with her bible*

Manager: *comes running from in the back* “What in the world is going on here!?”

Customer #1: “You allow sinful, gluttonous employees here! She must repent or she’ll burn in Hell! It is my duty to make her see the evil of her ways!”

(The customer now goes to the door and opens it and starts screaming this outside at everyone who walks by.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’ve called the police. You need to leave right now. You’ve upset my employee and injured a customer.”

Customer #1: “He’s assisting the devil! He’ll burn with the harlot! You’ll all burn!”

(She rants like this for 10 more minutes before the police arrive and arrest her. The man she hit with the bible had to have dental work done on his front teeth. She was charged with disturbing the peace, harassment, resisting arrest, and assault. She was sentenced to 90 days in jail and a $2,000 fine. My boss gave me a week off with pay.)

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
Cause For Pregnant Pause

More Thanks-taking Than Thanksgiving

| Kansas City, Mo, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Holidays, Wild & Unruly

(I am working in a grocery store meat department on Thanksgiving day stocking the hams and turkeys as fast as I can. I have just announced over the speaker that we have five fresh, unfrozen turkeys left, and we are waiting for the rush of people to get them. When there is only one left, predictably two customers grab for it.)

Customer #1: “Hey, this is mine. I saw it before you did.”

Customer #2: “No way! I walked all the way across the store to get it. It’s mine! I’m going home with it.”

Customer #1: “Why don’t you get a ham or something? I need this turkey for my dinner tonight. You can get something else.”

Customer #2: “Listen, you fat cow, you can buy the f****** ham. I’m getting this turkey.”

(At this point I figure I’d better get involved and run over.)

Me: “Ladies, we do have fresh turkey breasts available as well as hams and ducks. There are even a couple of geese leftover—”

Customer #2: “F*** you! I’m getting this d*** turkey and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

(Customer #2 then shoved her cart into the other woman, causing her to fall into the display of stuffing next to her, and ran off with the turkey. Hoping it was over, I went to help Customer #1 get up, but she slapped my hand, got to her feet, and tackled the other customer. I called security. Before they could get there I saw that Customer #3 had spotted Customer #1’s now abandoned cart and purse. She ran over and dumped Customer #1’s purse into her own and then grabbed just about everything out of her cart, including a bag of prescription medication, before running off. I shouted at her but she disappeared into a crowd of people. Customers #1 and #2 were by then rolling on the floor in the bread aisle while security was trying to pull them apart. While this went on, Customer #4 approached Customer #2’s cart and grabbed the turkey and most everything in her cart. Security eventually pulled them apart and they were both arrested. Sadly, Customer #3, who stole Customer #1’s purse, was never caught as the cart was in a blind spot.)

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