Adding Gallons Of Fuel To The Fire

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I work at a gas station that doesn’t require customers to prepay for gas. And yes, the pumps do display the number of gallons a customer pumps.)

Me: “Hi! Were you on pump two?”

Customer: “How many gallons did I pump?”

Me: “I can’t figure that out until you pay. I can print you out a receipt if you would like.”

Customer: “I just want to know how many gallons I pumped!”

Me: “I can’t tell you right now, but if you pay the $52.70 I can give you the receipt and it will say the amount you pumped.”

Customer: “WHY THE H*** CAN’T YOU TELL ME THE GALLONS?!”

Me: “I can get a calculator and divide the amount you owe by the price of gas, but it would be faster if you paid and I got you a receipt.”

Customer: *angrily throws money on the counter and walks out*

Me: *before he even reaches the door I have the receipt printed* “IT WAS FOURTEEN POINT TWO EIGHT GALLONS, SIR!”

Didn’t Play Their Cards Right

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(Our store is having an Easter sale and has sent promotional emails to our customers, which contain ads and coupons. I’m ringing up a customer who has made a large purchase, most of which consists of gift cards, which are never discounted. When I tell her the total and how much she’s saved, she becomes upset.)

Customer: “I spent nearly $300! My discount should be much higher!”

(I double-check the totals to make sure I haven’t rung up anything incorrectly.)

Me: “Ma’am, I believe your savings are lower because most of what you spent

was on gift cards, and we don’t discount those.”

Customer: “But the email I was sent had a picture of an Easter basket with a gift card in it! I should get my discount on the gift cards too, since there was a gift card in the picture! That’s false advertising!”

(Despite my best efforts to explain, she asks to speak to my manager.)

Manager: “Ma’am, a gift card is literally an exchange of money, dollar for dollar. We don’t ever give discounts on gift cards, and as you can see, we don’t charge tax on them either. That doesn’t happen until you purchase something with the gift card.

Customer: “Oh… well, I guess I learned something today.”

Manager: “For future reference, the fine print here on your coupon also states that we can’t discount gift cards.”

Customer: “I could spend all day reading fine print if I wanted to. I have a Ph.D.! Nobody reads the fine print!”

5 Stories Of iPhone Insanity

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of iPhone Insanity Another iPhone is released, another shopping frenzy is released upon the poor service workers…

  1. Not The Apple From The Tree Of Knowledge (2,728 thumbs up)
  2. A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Woes (3,165 thumbs up)
  3. Wired For The Stone Age (3,436 thumbs up)
  4. iNeed A Raise (3,306 thumbs up)
  5. At Least His Daughter Is On The Right Track (2,904 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Knows Zip About The Code

| NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

Me: “Thank you, Ma’am. Now I need your address so we can mail your order out to you.”

Caller: “I live at [Street, City, State, USA].”

Me: “OK, ma’am, I have all that. May I have your ZIP code, please?”

Caller: “My what?”

Me: “Your ZIP code. It’s part of your address. After your address.”

Caller: “After my address? No, I don’t have one.”

Me: “Everyone has a ZIP code. It’s the number that follows your address. If you live in the USA, you have a ZIP code. All addresses have one.”

Caller: “And I’m telling you I never heard of such a thing, I’ve lived in this house for 15 years and there’s no ZIP code here.”

Me: “You live in [City], right?”

Caller “Yes. In [City] in [State].”

Me: “Then your ZIP code is a five digit number and would probably begin with [number].”

Caller: “You’re out of your mind! I am looking out my window RIGHT NOW at my house number, on the front porch and there is NO ZIP CODE!”

Trying To Clean Up His Act

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

Coworker: “We had another shoplifter yesterday. Another one of our regular customers that we always look after.”

Me: “Really? Who?”

Coworker: “This guy who brings a bike in.”

Me: “Oh, I saw him as I was leaving yesterday. Had a funny feeling about him.”

Coworker: “Yes. He shopped for about half an hour while I stayed at the counter and kept an eye on his bike. He then came up to ask if we had soap making kits. I told him no but when he bent down to pick up the bag he left by his bike I saw a package with a pair of scissors in it, stuffed down his pants.”

Me: “Down his pants?”

Coworker: “Yes, the back of his pants. I told him he needed to pay for them so he pulled them out and threw them on the counter. But when he turned I noticed another item down his pants so I asked for that as well and he pulled that out. Then I noticed he had something in his pocket so I asked him what that was. He claimed it was something of his. I told him to show me and he pulled out more of our stock and threw it on the counter.”

Me: “I knew I had a strange feeling about him.”

Coworker: “Yes, and I was doing him a favour by watching his bike. I have no idea what else he bought. I watched him leave and saw him go in the fishing shop, so I raced up to warn them. They warned other shops as well. Each made sure he was followed in the store.”

Me: “Hopefully he won’t come back.”

Coworker: “Me, too, but the weirdest part was not long after there was a phone call. It was his voice asking if we had soap making kits.”

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