Marie, Marie, Quite Contrary

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Funny Names

(Though I’m not the receptionist, I answer the main phone line at work, so I’m responsible for routing calls and answering general questions.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Can I talk to Marie?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have anyone here by that name.”

Caller: “Marie Stevens?”

Me: “Sorry, there’s still no one here named Marie.”

This Flowered Into Nothing

| OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(It is pouring down rain, and I’m called outside to help a customer in the garden area. I get soaked within seconds, and find an elderly woman gazing at hanging baskets.)

Woman: “I’m looking for flowers to refill my hanging basket.”

Me: “Well, we have a large variety of flowers right now. All would look lovely in a basket, or we have the pre-filled baskets ready to go and in bloom.”

Woman: “I want the same thing I got last year.” *looks at me expectantly*

Me: “Uh… did you get it here? Perhaps a fuchsia?”

(At this point I am shaking from cold and wondering what exactly she wants from me.)

Woman: “Just grab the one I bought last year. I don’t know where I got it, but I want the same one.

Me: I’m sorry; I don’t know what you had last year. Do any of these flowers look familiar?”

Woman: “Oh, I don’t know. Why can’t you remember what I bought? I just want the same flowers! Just help me!”

Me: *desperate to leave* “I think you bought fuchsias last year! Right here!” *shows her the plant*

Woman: “Oh, yes, thank you! Oh, those are much too expensive. Well, have a good day!”

(She bought nothing, took 15 minutes of my day, and left me sopping wet and freezing. I love customer service.)

Doesn’t Quite Get The Message

| Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

(I am a receptionist and all incoming calls come to me, I also have two coworkers with the same first name.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Company].”

Customer: “I missed a call from this number.”

Me: “I am sorry. All incoming calls come through my desk and I have no way of knowing who placed an outgoing call to your number. What company are you with? I might be able to look up who your project manager is.”

Customer: “[Other Company].”

Me: “I am sorry, but I don’t seem to have your company in my system. Did the person that called happen to leave a message?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t listen to my messages.”

Me: “I apologize, but the best way for us to know who called you is for you to listen to the message.”

Customer: “Fine!” *click*

(Phone rings, it is the same customer.)

Customer: “Can I talk to [Coworker First Name]?”

Me: “May I ask, is that [Coworker First and Last Name #1] or [Coworker First and Last Name #2]?

Customer: “How am I supposed to know? They only said [First Name].

Me: “All right, did they tell you the nature of this call in the message?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I didn’t listen that far. Just let me talk to [First Name].”

Me: “Okay, sir, please hold while I determine which one of them called you. May I please get your name and company again?”

Customer: “No!” *click*

(He didn’t call back after that so I don’t know if he ever figured it out.)