Should Keep Better Account Of Her Account

| SD, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a library that offers computer services to patrons. We get a lot of people who don’t know anything about computers.)

Patron: “Can you help me out? The computer won’t let me check my email.”

Me: “Sure. Let’s see what’s wrong.”

(We walk over to her computer.)

Patron: “Now see, I put in my email address and hit enter and it doesn’t sign me in!”

Me: “Well, first of all, you’re on the Google search engine, not an email site. If you have Gmail, then you click on that little button right there that says ‘Gmail’ and then you can enter your email address and password.”

Patron: “I don’t have Gmail. I have Yahoo!”

Me: “So you’re trying to access your Yahoo email through the Google search bar by typing in your email address and hitting enter?”

Patron: “Yes! It won’t let me on! Fix it!”

Me: “Okay, one second.” *types in Yahoo mail into the address bar* “There. Now put in your email address and password and it will sign you in. You need to be on the Yahoo mail site to access your yahoo mail.”

Patron: “Password? I don’t have a password!”

Related
Should Keep Better Account Of His Account

Taxing Faxing, Part 12

| NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a small public library with a self-service fax machine. The machine walks you through sending a fax with an automated verbal prompt. A coworker comes to find me at my desk.)

Coworker: “Can you lift the fax machine up?”

Me: “What? Why?”

Coworker: “She got her card stuck in it.”

(Our fax machine does not have a credit card reader. Now confused, I approach the patron.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Patron: “My card is stuck in the fax machine.”

Me: “Can you show me where?”

(She points to the paper feed.)

Me: *digging the card from the machine* “How did this happen?”

Patron: “The voice said, ‘put in the card number,’ so I put the card in the machine.”

Me: “Miss, it doesn’t scan the card. It scans the pages you want to fax. You have to manually type the card number using the number keys on the pad.”

(The patron gives me a dumbfounded look.)

Me: *pointing to the numbers* “The numbers on the front of your credit card are the actual account number. That’s how the machine knows to charge your account.”

(Same dumbfounded look.)

Me: *sigh* “Here, let me help you…”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 11
Taxing Faxing, Part 10
Taxing Faxing, Part 9
Taxing Faxing, Part 8
Taxing Faxing, Part 7
Taxing Faxing, Part 6
Taxing Faxing, Part 5
Taxing Faxing, Part 4
Taxing Faxing, Part 3
Taxing Faxing, Part 2
Taxing Faxing

A Good Sign

, | San Jose, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

(I pull into a drive-thru for a quick lunch. The cashier greets me and asks for my order, and just as I’m about to give it to her, I notice they have a ‘sorry, cash only’ sign taped up next to the speaker.)

Me: “Yes, I’d like a— Oh, hold on, I just noticed your sign. Let me make sure I actually have cash on me before I order.” *checks wallet*

Cashier: “No, sorry, our card reader’s down— Wait, what? You READ the sign? I’m not sure that’s actually ever happened before!”

Combo Number Four(skin)

, | Des Moines, IA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I’m working the drive-thru at about nine pm. A car comes up and a teenager gives his order of a burger.)

Me: “And what size do you want for that?”

Customer: “Uh… circumcise me!”

Me: “You mean supersize?”

Customer: “Yeah! Circumcise me.”

(He drives to the first window, paying. I stick an extra plastic knife in his bag. When he drives to my window, I hand him his food.)

Me: “Sir, I included one of our plastic knives. Unfortunately, we can’t perform your request here.”

Customer: “What?”

(The girl in the passenger seat, presumably his girlfriend, leans over and whispers in his ear.)

Customer: *eyes widen and looks at me horrified*

Me: “You did ask.”

Customer: *steps on the gas and speeds out of the drive-thru*

The Gift Of Friendship

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Customer: “I am going to pay with a gift card.”

Me: “Okay, swipe it there.”

Customer: *swipes gift card*

Me: “Would you like me to take the gift card for you? There’s nothing left on it.”

Customer: “No, I like to keep them on my desk.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “I keep them on my desk because when I invite my friends over, I see who’s really my friend. If the gift card is still there when they leave, they are a true friend. If not, I know to have a shotgun waiting for them when they come back!”

Me: “… Good idea?”

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