If It Ain’t Broke, Book It!

| New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(This conversation takes place over the messaging system on my website.)

Customer: “Hi. Are you available to come out to [Place approx 50 minutes from where I am located] to take some photos of my car club’s meet up?”

Me: “Hi, there. What date are you having the meet up?”

Customer: “The 18th of this month. How much will it cost?”

Me: “Yes, I am free then. Cost will depend on how many hours you require me to be there, All your photos are included in the price and will be edited and placed on either USB or disk for you.”

Customer: “Um, I don’t know. A couple of hours or so.”

Me: “Okay, well, the best deal I can give you is $[total] for the first hour and $[other amount] for every half hour after that. The travel costs are included in the first hour.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t afford that; I’m a bit broke at the moment.”

Me: That’s fine. Unfortunately, I cannot lower the price anymore. However, if you do change your mind let me know and I would be happy to schedule you in.

Customer: “Bummer, Do you have a camera I could just borrow for the day? I won’t wreck it or anything.”

Me: “I am sorry, but I cannot lend my equipment out.”

Customer: “I will be real careful; I could even give you a $20 bond.”

Me: “No, sorry. I am unable to do that, maybe you could ask a friend to borrow their camera.”

Customer: “Nah, they are broke, too.”

Me: “Okay, then. If you change your mind about scheduling in with me let me know. Have a nice day.” *bangs head on desk*

Thoughts Are Mega-lite

| Augusta, GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am working at a call center that handles cell phone services. One of our plans offers to let you add extra data for a certain amount of money.)

Me: *confirming* “So, you wanted to pay five dollars for 500 megabytes, right?”

Customer: “Right. And how many megabytes is that?”

Not Sue-table Clients

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I am giving a tour of my home daycare to prospective clients.)

Mother: “This is quite lovely. I really like your outdoor space and the type of toys you have for the children in the playroom. I was wondering, how do you deal with discipline?”

Me: “Well, it depends on the type of behavior I am dealing with. I mostly redirect, show appropriate behavior, and say no when I have to. I only resort to time-out when a child really needs to cool down and their actions are directly affecting the other kids.”

Father: “Well, how do you deal with hitting or biting?”

Me: “Some children, not all, will go through a phase or episodes. It’s a matter of getting them to understand it hurts, showing them alternate ways to express frustration, anger, or excitement, and also teaching the other children to say no firmly. As hands-on as I try to be, it cannot be always be avoided, but we work through it. Both parties learn from it, in terms of self-control and assertiveness.”

Mother: “The reason we are looking for daycare for our daughter is because at the last place, a little boy bit our daughter. We are both lawyers, and I can assure you that we sued the bejeesus out of that provider.” *disturbing giggle*

Me: *thinking to myself* “And that makes me want to take you on as clients because…?”

Me: *out loud* “Some things will happen. This is a safe space, regularly inspected, but toddlers are learning to handle their feelings and emotions and sometimes it manifests in physical ways. I am here to guide them and show them better ways. I cannot condone litigious responses to fairly normal occurrences that cannot possibly be prevented, though they can be corrected. Are you fine with being sued if your little girl hits another child at the park?”

Father: “She would NEVER do that. If she so much as grabs food without asking first she gets a spanking, so I can guarantee you she’s not going to physically attack another kid.”

Me: “…”

(Needless to say, I made the rest of the tour as brief as I could and when they emailed me to ask about enrolling, I turned them down politely.)