Bachelor Chow Is The Cat’s Meow

| Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I am the customer in this story. The vet sells cat and dog food in the lobby. Though my mum takes my cat here when he’s ill and to buy food, I have never been to buy food before.)

Me: *picks up a large bag of cat food and takes it to the desk* “I’ll have this, please!”

Vet’s Receptionist: “That’ll be £15.00 please.”

Me: “Okay, great.” *I pay*

Vet’s Receptionist: “We have to note down sales in this book. Can I have your surname and your cat’s name, please?”

Me: *without thinking, I look up in surprise and say* “Huh? How did you know I have a cat?!”

Vet’s Receptionist: “Well… unless you plan on eating that yourself…”

Got Ants In Your Pants About Buying This Animal

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a well known pet store chain. Late at night, just a half hour before closing, we get a phone call from a tired sounding woman.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Pet Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *sounds of customer trying to silence a barking dog* “Uh, yeah, do you have any anteaters?”

Me: *I pause because I’m a little surprised by this* “I don’t believe we do.”

Caller: “Are you sure? Because you kind of hesitated like you weren’t sure.”

Me: “You said anteaters? Is that a name of a product or—”

Caller: “No, like the animal. You know, like an anteater? Do you sell them?”

Me: “I’m sure we don’t.”

Caller: “You hesitated again. Maybe you should go make sure.”

(The store is not very large and neither are the animals we sell: nothing bigger than a guinea pig. I tell her I will check and put her on hold for a few seconds. I inform the working manager and he tells me to just tell her I didn’t find any anteaters, which is what I do.)

Caller: “Aw, man, really? I really need an anteater. Do you know if the other store carries them? What is it?”

Me: “[Competitor]?”

Caller: “Yeah! Do they have them? Do they have anteaters?”

Me: “I’m very certain they do not.”

Caller: “Are you sure? You kind of paused. Can you make sure?”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no way I can check a competitor’s stock but I am pretty sure they don’t sell anteaters.”

(After exclaiming her disappointment once again, she described to me her reason for needing an anteater. She told me she has a cousin who has a serious ant problem in her apartment and was told by a friend that they had solved a similar problem using an anteater, which, they said, can be purchased at some pet stores. What she intended to do with the large exotic animal after it served its purpose is still a mystery.)

5 Stories Of Coupon Craziness

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Coupon Craziness The Coupon Is Never Right…

  1. A Poser By Any Other Name, Part 2 (4,390 thumbs up)
  2. How To Disarm Volatile Customers (4,248 thumbs up)
  3. Sweet Candy, Bitter Purchase (3,281 thumbs up)
  4. She’s Been Placed On The Blacklist (2,875 thumbs up)
  5. Makes No Difference How Things End Up (2,630 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Can’t Go Without Within

| Detroit, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

Caller: “Why did you send me a letter saying I have to pay my bill 31 days before it’s due?”

Me: “Ma’am, that letter is simply stating that you have to pay the bill WITHIN 31 days of the due date.”

Caller: “Yes! The letter says WITHIN 31 days! That means BEFORE!”

Me: “Ma’am, I deal with accounts similar to yours all day every day, and I’m telling you, you have 31 days PAST the due date to pay the bill.”

Caller: “That’s not what this letter says! I want you to send me a letter in writing stating what you just said.”

Me: “Ma’am, if I sent you a letter stating what I just said you would receive the same letter you’re calling me about right now.”

Caller: “Well, I’m going to send your company a letter to tell them I still haven’t received my bill for next month! I can’t afford not to have coverage!”

Me: *finally giving up* “Would you like the address, ma’am?”

So Pho, So Crazy, Part 4

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I am half Vietnamese and look somewhat ethnically ambiguous.)

Customer: “Are you Japanese?”

Me: “No, Vietnamese.”

Customer: “Really? Are you sure?”

(Later, another customer runs into the store, heads directly for one of our Buddha statues, and rubs its belly. She is about to dash off again when she sees me looking in her direction.)

Customer: “I’m sorry! Every time I see a Buddha I just have to touch it. But you must understand. You have the look of the Buddha about you.”

(A third customer comes in and asks about the meaning of some Chinese characters on a teapot. Having taken some Chinese in school, and, more relevantly, having read the product description recently, I manage to tell her the meaning of a couple.)

Customer: “Are you Chinese?”

Me: “No, Vietnamese, but I took a bit of Chinese in school.”

Customer: “Really? But isn’t that shaming your family or something?”

Related:
So Pho, So Crazy, Part 3
So Pho, So Crazy, Part 2
So Pho, So Crazy

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