I ‘Find’ That Hard To Believe

Lincoln, NE, USA | Right | January 7, 2016

(I work in an outbound call center at a student loan guarantor. We call people who are past due so that we can go over their options to become current and then transfer them to their servicer if necessary. Wrong numbers are often associated with accounts, but we remove them as soon as a person tells us it’s a wrong number.)

Me: “Hello, is [Name] available?”

Kid: “If you call this number again, I will PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE! And then I’ll FIND you!” *click*

Me: “Um…?”

The Customer Is Not Always Copyright, Part 2

| Lincoln, NE, USA | Right | January 7, 2016

(I am working at the customer service desk at a well-known box store. A customer comes in to return some movies. He looks a little shady and his voice/actions are entirely monotone, but he seems normal enough.)

Customer: “I would like to return these.” *he dumps a few movies on my counter; they are all unwrapped*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Since these are already open I can’t return them for you. If there is something wrong with them, I can exchange them for copies of the same discs.”

Customer: “No. I want to return these. You need to accept them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but copyright law prohibits me from—”

Customer: “You know, I could just sue you.”

(I think he’s joking, so I laugh.)

Customer: “I have won lawsuits against [Fast Food chain] and [Giant box store] and I will sue your a**.”

(I’m still not entirely convinced he’s serious. His voice is almost cartoonishly monotone and he’s showing no signs of anger.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s nothing I can do unless you want to exchange these.”

Customer: *picks up DVDs* “I’ll be back. I’ve won a million dollars against [Fast Food chain]. You will lose.”

Me: *calling after him* “Good luck with that!”

(I never see him again.)

 

Jon Snow Works Here

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Right | January 6, 2016

(I work at an art and craft shop. I have only been working two months at most so I am still timid. A lady and her daughter come in and ask me some questions about decoupage, which I hadn’t heard of. I apologize and explain that I’m new and direct her to another employee who answers all her questions. She returns happy and friendly. Whilst I’m processing her sale she starts asking me more questions.)

Me: *apologizes again* “Sorry, ma’am; I’m new. I’ve only been here two months and I’m still learning. I don’t know anything about decoupage. But I can grab my coworker and she can help you.”

Customer: *turns to daughter* “See! You could work here!”

(The daughter leaves the shop.)

Customer: *turns back to me smiling* “I’ve told her she should apply for a job here but she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t know anything about art and craft.” *turns to daughter outside and yells* “See! This girl doesn’t know anything!”

H2-Slow, Part 11

| Highlands Ranch, CO, USA | Right | January 6, 2016

(My younger, newer coworker approaches me for help with a customer asking question he doesn’t understand. The customer has a 5 gallon jug water exchange in a cart.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve got a question about this [Brand] water?”

Me: “Sure, what can I tell you about it?”

Customer: “Does this have an expiration date?”

Me: *stunned* “Um… it’s water.”

Customer: “So… does it?”

(I told him if the water is held to EPA and FDA standards it would be properly filtered for pathogenic organisms and protozoan. I’m still stunned that anyone would think water could expire.)

 

The Look Is Priceless, Unlike Your Groceries

| Right | January 6, 2016
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