Finished The Transaction At Break-Neck Speed

, | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(I am fresh out of high school. I work at a popular fast food chain and my long-term partner lives about an hour away. I have just returned from a short vacation, during which I spent my time at her house. As we didn’t see each other often we had to make the most of our time together. A customer in his 50s, male, is at my counter.)

Customer: “You’ve been a naughty girl.”

Me: “… Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’ve been very naughty.” *points at me*

Me: “Uh… what?”

Customer: “The marks on your neck.”

Me: *instinctively pull up my collar, embarrassed*

Customer: “That’s all right. Seems like you’ve got a lucky boy on your hands.” *winks*

The Mother Of Bad Pickup Lines

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m cleaning behind the registers alone when a customer comes up to the counter. He looks about 30 and is a little unkempt looking. I’m 18. He’s been staring at me and overall been acting creepy and talking about how he can’t buy more shoes or socks because his mother won’t let him. Finally at the end of the transaction, this happens:)

Customer: “You know… I think you’re very attractive… Would you, maybe.. Like to go out some time?”

Me: “Thank you. That’s very sweet but I’m still in high school.”

Customer: “Oh, what grade?”

Me: “12.”

Customer: “I don’t mind.”

Me: “Maybe another time, but thank you.”

(He then proceeds to ask again and I decline a second time.)

Customer: “So, where do you live?”

Me: “Oh, around here.”

Customer: “Well I live in [retirement apartment complex].”

(I assume this means he lives with his mother. He then proceeds to give me his email address and name on a post it note which I accept because at that point I just wanted him out. He’s been seen in the shopping centre near my store but hasn’t come back yet. Thank god!)

Doing Them A Flavor Favor

, | Ireland | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I work as a waitress and am waiting on a table of a really nice family with three kids. It is an unusually hot day and each of the children has one of those really tall, exaggerated slushies with in-built straws.)

Me: “Where did you get those slushies? They look pretty cool!”

Father: “Oh, just next door.”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t realize they sold them. I’ll have to get one next time I’m in. It’s been so hot recently.”

Father: “What’s your favourite flavour?”

Me: “I don’t know. All of them, I guess! So, are you guys ready to order?”

(I proceed to take their order. Their food is served and they have their meal, pay, and leave with no hassle or problems and nice chit chat all the way through. They’ve left after their meal for about 20 minutes when the father enters back in. I’m behind the bar at this point.)

Father: “Hey, I got you this. It is really hot today!” *hands me one of the slushies, with all the flavours mixed together*

Me: “Oh, thank you!”

(He smiled and walked out again. It made my day! Sometimes, the customer is the good guy!)

Mothers In Disguise

| OH, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I am shopping to get some polos for my mom and my little brother, who are at a concert. I am a 20-year-old woman; however, my voice makes me sound younger. I also love a particular robot franchise. I am searching the toy aisle for a figure that I don’t have, when I approach another customer in the aisle.)

Customer: *huffs, turns to her husband* “Look at her. Can’t keep them together.”

Me: *looks at her*

Customer: “Yes, I am talking about you! You shouldn’t be having children at your age!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “And how can you afford to spoil your kid? You can’t get a decent job like that!”

Me: *realizing what she is implying* “Actually, I can spoil my kids.” *reaches into my shopping basket to pull out a can of cat treats* “See?”

Customer: *crosses her arms*

Me: “This…” *pulls a buildable figure off the rack* “…is for me.”

Customer: “So immature!”

(I am used to getting criticism for liking the robot franchise, which is aimed at younger boys.)

Me: *shrugs* “So?

(Just then, the woman’s son peers from another aisle.)

Customer’s Son: “Mommy, I can’t find them with the Legos.” *looks at me* “Is that [Character]?”

Me: “Yes, it is!”

Customer’s Son: “That’s the one I want!”

Customer: *turns to face away*

Me: *kneels down to hand it to her son* “Do you have [Other Character]? He goes with [Character].”

Customer’s Son: “Really?”

Me: “Yep! They and [Third Character] make a group known as a trine. They’re best together.”

(The woman’s husband grabs the other character’s box as the woman sulks away.)

Customer’s Son: “Thank you! Sorry Mommy was mean. She said [Franchise] is for little kids and I’m a big boy, but now I know it’s for big girls, too!”

Bored To Death At School

| Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working as a cashier when a man and his young daughter (about nine or ten) come in. The girl looks upset.)

Me: *to the girl* “Hi, there! How was school?”

Girl: “I HATE school!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. What don’t you like about it?”

Girl: “Everything, except for lunch and recess.”

Me: “Well, what DO you like? What interests you?”

Girl: *looking me right in the eye and smiling* “DEATH!”

(Needless to say, I was speechless.)

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