Reached Rock-Bottom Dollar, Part 2

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

(My store closes at 9:00 pm and I am the last register open on a Friday night. A couple came through my line around 8:45 with a cart full of groceries. I ring them up and finish around 8:55.)

Me: *cheerily* “That’ll be $87.95.”

Woman: “Oh, I have coupons!”

(She proceeds to take out a handful of coupons and hands them to me hastily. I scan them in.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $79.45.”

Woman: “Um, you didn’t scan them all in.”

Me: “Yes, I did, ma’am. One of them is expired so I can’t use it but the rest I scanned.”

Woman: “But you’re missing one. I gave you ten coupons and there are only eight there.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. You actually only gave me nine.”

Woman: “Well, I had ten; it was for a dollar off so just ring it in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss. I can’t put the coupon in unless you have it with you. I need it so my drawer won’t be off.”

Woman: *screams* “This is completely ridiculous!! I had ten coupons so give me my other coupon!”

Husband: “Just give it to her. It’s fine.”

Me: “No, it’s not. I’m not allowed to give you the coupon unless you have it. Sorry, it’s my job.”

(At this point the woman’s eyes looked like they were about to bug out of her head as she threw the cash on the register.)

Woman: “Just give me my change.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Your change is $19.55, have a great night.”

Woman: *huffs, grabs her cart, and sprints out of the store, husband trailing behind*

(My manager walks over and just stares after them. It is 9:15 pm at this point.)

Manager: “If anyone like that b**** bothers you again let me know so I can take care of them. People are f****** awful.”

Related:
Reached Rock-Bottom Dollar

They Don’t Charge Extra For Time

| UK | Math & Science, Movies & TV

Customer: “Two tickets to see [Film] this evening, please.”

Me: “Of course. Would you like to watch in 2D or 3D?”

Customer: “Oh, I wish you had 4D, too, That would be cool!”

Me: “Well, technically, since films are moving images our 3D films are 4D. They move through time!”

Customer: “The fourth dimension!”

Coupons Can Be Taxing

Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month

(I manage a fast food/coffee shop. A customer presents a coupon for $1.99 coffee. I make her drink and I ring it up.)

Me: “That’s going to be $2.11.”

Customer: “That’s with the coupon?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “But it’s supposed to be $1.99.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. $1.99 plus tax.”

Customer: “But why is it $2.11? That seems like too much.”

Me: “Well its $1.99 plus 12 cents tax which comes to $2.11.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense! It should be $1.99!”

(This goes on for a couple minutes and my boss is next to me counting money.)

Customer: *to my boss* “You understand what I’m saying right?”

Boss: “I’m not sure I do. The drink is $1.99 plus tax and the tax is 12 cents so the total should be $2.11.”

(The customer stops and thinks for a second and then, looking quite embarrassed turns to me.)

Customer: “OH, MY GOSH I’m so sorry! I really need this coffee!”

A (Religiously) Extreme Reaction

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading, Religion

(Our inbound services take calls for a lot of the as-seen-on-TV products. I am working there soon after 9/11 and we have a particular caller who would often call to rant about how we were a scam.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Why the h*** would I want to buy a thing of Charlton Heston reading the Bible? Do you know what kind of a man he is?”

Me: “You’re calling for the ‘Charlton Heston Reads the Bible’ then, sir?”

Caller: “H***, yes, I’m calling about that. I want to know what sort of d*** outfit you’re running there that you think I’d want to buy a thing of Heston reading the Bible.”

Me: “Well, I can’t say what you would like, sir, but a lot of people seem to like this product. It has been fairly popular. Possibly because Charlton Heston played Moses in The Ten Commandments.”

Caller: “Like h*** he did! And like h*** this is popular. Didn’t you know that Charlton Heston was part of the NRA!”

Me: “Yes, I was aware of that.”

Caller: “Then why the hell would anyone let him read the Bible? You know, I’ll bet he was working with this Al Qaeda people!”

Me: “No, sir, I’m fairly certain that Charlton Heston is affiliated with an entirely separate group of religious extremists.”

(I somehow never got written up for this.)

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 6

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I am around five and I am at the grocery store with my dad. We are waiting in line and it is long because only a few registers are open. When we are next to be rung up a business lady defiantly walks in front of me and my dad and proceeds to unload her cart.)

Me: “Hey, dad, that lady just budged us!”

(To this my dad replied loudly enough for everyone around us to hear:)

Dad: “Well, [My Name], it’s all right for her to do that because she is important. Far more important than we are. In fact, she probably works for the government and she has to cut in front of us because they need her to help save the world. So, don’t get angry that she walked in front of us like we didn’t exist because she’s way too important to the country to wait in line like a normal person. In fact, she probably doesn’t wait in line anywhere because lives could be lost if she doesn’t get her milk and eggs three minutes sooner.”

(At this point the cashier has stopped ring her items up and everyone around us was watching. The woman turned to us, a mixture of annoyed and embarrassed.)

Woman: “I, uh… You can go in front of me if you’d like…”

(My dad holds up his hand.)

Dad: “I would never, ma’am. Your time is far too important for us mere peasants to waste. You go off and keep protecting our country.”

(She was completely red as she finished her purchase and walked out quickly.)

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 5
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 4
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 3

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