Teaching Them About The Honey And The Bees

| Aurora, CO, USA | Right | November 28, 2015

(I’m working as a cashier at a local health food store when I notice a gentleman standing in the honey section and staring at all of the jars looking really distraught. Eventually he comes to me for assistance.)

Me: “Hi! Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “Do you have any bee honey?”

Me: “Yes, of course. It’s right over here”

Customer: “No, I looked there already. All you have is clover honey.”

Me: “Sir, clover honey just means that the bees used mainly clover plants to make the honey.”

Customer: “No! My girlfriend told me to pick up some bee honey! I need honey made by bees not by clover!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you, all honey comes from bees. Clover honey means that the bees used nectar from clover plants. Wildflower honey means the bees used nectar from wildflowers. Both honeys come from bees, just the taste is a little different.”

Customer: *stares blankly then narrows his eyes at me* “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I assure you; it all comes from bees.”

Customer: “…I don’t believe you.”

Me: “I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you. If you buy some and it’s not what your girlfriend wants, you can return it.”

Customer: “…Okay. I’ll buy it. But I still don’t think it’s from bees.”

(He didn’t return it, so I guess he was happy with it!)

A Tinny Tiny Problem With Her Hearing

| IL, USA | Right | November 28, 2015

(Customers are packed in a tight aisle, so to get out of the way my brother and I go to the end of the aisle and stand there. We are in front of the coffee creamer and are talking about mp3 players. Suddenly, an old lady appears.)

Old Lady: *in a loud, almost yelling, voice* “You’re in front of what I need!”

(My brother and I move away and continue our conversation. The old lady takes literally five minutes to choose her creamer and just as she’s about to walk away…)

Me: *directed towards my brother* “Yeah, but your mp3 player sounds so tinny.”

Old Lady:  “What did you say?!”

Me: “Uhm… a certain type of mp3 player sounds tinny?”

Old Lady: *getting mad* “What did you say to me!?”

Me: *louder* “This mp3 player sound tinny!”

Old Lady: *really mad* “What! Are you serious?! Tell me again, what did you say to me!?”

Me: *pretty loud* “My brother’s mp3 player sounds bad!”

(There’s silence for a moment, then the old lady walks away without saying a thing.)

Brother: “Her hearing must be tinny.”

Roundup: The Most Popular Stories Of The Week

Not Always Right | Right | November 28, 2015

Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (November 21st – November 27th 2015)!

See more roundups here!

The Jewel Fool

| USA | Right | November 27, 2015

(I’m in the TSA pre-check line, since I have *paid* for clearance for such. Recently, the policy has been that flyers over 65 get automatic pre-check, for the most part. In front of me in the security screening line is an older woman, who I assume got the “elderly flyer” clearance.)

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, you need to remove your jewelry to go through the metal detector. You can probably go through with a single necklace or ring, but not with the numerous pieces you’re wearing. If you have something really valuable, we can hold it within your sight while you walk through.”

Elderly Flyer: “I’m not letting any of my very valuable jewelry out of my sight… It’ll be fine; just let me through.”

TSA Agent: “We can’t really stop you from trying… Please walk through the metal detector.”

(Of course the metal detector goes nuts with her piles of jewelry, but despite TSA’s requests to take the jewelry off or step aside, she continues ranting and raving and blocking the metal detector so that no one else can proceed. Eventually, they get her off to the side, and let people behind her go through the metal detector. I don’t remove my wedding set since I know that it doesn’t contain enough metal to set off the detectors, but that is literally the only metal on my person.)

Elderly Flyer: “NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE! She just walked through the metal detector wearing a hunk of a rock, and you didn’t hold her up for one second. Why am I being persecuted?”

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, she was wearing just one ring, and a typical wedding ring won’t set off the detectors. You are wearing several necklaces, bracelets, and rings. You don’t have to take it all off, but more than one necklace, bracelet, or ring will probably set off the detectors, and then we have to re-screen you. Again, if any one of your pieces of jewelry are very valuable, we can hold it while you walk through the metal detector, and it will never be out of your sight.”

Elderly Flyer: “I just don’t understand why I’m being subject to such intense screening. I’m an innocent old lady!”

Me: *finally snapping* “Look, lady, you were put in this line just because you are old. If you were even a few years younger, you’d be standing in a long line downstairs and have to take not only your jewelry, but also shoes and coat off, plus remove the iPad I saw you using a few minutes ago from your bag, and I’m going to bet you have liquids in your bag you didn’t have to remove, either. I paid $100 and went through a background check and in-person interview to use this line… You got here for free because you are old. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. If they asked me to take my wedding set off because it set the metal detector off, I would do it, even though it’s worth at least 10 times what all your costume jewelry is. Take your jewelry off, put it through the x-ray machine, and GET OVER IT.”

(She stood there mouth agape that someone would tell her what’s what. The TSA agent at the end of the line, where I was retrieving my carry on, gave me a discreet high-five.)

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Bird Brained, Part 11

| USA | Right | November 27, 2015

(I have just bought four cups of nectar to feed the rainbow lorikeets at the zoo. After finding a somewhat calm place to stand, I make no indication I notice the birds and am soon covered in them. The birds are only going towards the adults and older (quieter) kids. The younger kids start coming over to me trying to get birds to jump onto them and drink out of their cups.)

Kid: “You’ve got so many birds! I want one!”

Me: “Here, just stand next to me and don’t move. They’ll come right over!”

(He stands next to me but squeals every time a bird comes near him and scares it away. Then his mom comes over.)

Mom: “Oh, wow! You have so many birds with you! Can you pass one to my son?”

Me: “I’ll try, but the birds don’t like noise. If he can stand still and quiet they’ll land on him.”

(I try to pass a bird to the kids hand but it jumps back to mine.)

Mom: “Stop hogging all the birds! This is really unfair to the kids!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just been standing here. The birds are coming to me.”

Mom: “So you should be passing them to the kids, then! This is a zoo! This is a place for CHILDREN, not immature adults!”

Me: “You’re being very rude. I’ve already tried passing the birds off but it’s not my fault if they don’t want to sit with them. The zoo is a place for anyone to enjoy, not just kids.”

(She doesn’t respond but starts trying to grab birds off of me or shoo them away. One of them starts squawking and bites her.)

Mom: “Ugh! This zoo is atrocious! How dare they have such untrained, disgusting animals allowed to hurt people!”

(She stormed off to complain to a zookeeper.)

 

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