Hashtag STFU

| Canada | Family & Kids, Technology

(I’m scooping ice cream when four girls approach, probably in their early teens. One girl doesn’t look up from her cellphone the entire time.)

Girl #1: “Like, O-M-G. We should totes get ice cream.”

Girl #2: “We should! Hashtag delicious!”

(At this point I sort of do a double take as I have never heard anyone use ‘O-M-G’ and ‘hashtag’ in an actual sentence. )

Girl #3: “Totes hashtag guilty pleasure. Hashtag favourite food.”

Girl #1: “O-M-G . What flavors should we get? Hashtag decisions!”

Girl #3: “Hashtag double scoops. Hashtag muffin top! Let’s each get two scoops! We’re soooo bad!”

(They proceeded to get their ice cream and then I witnessed them all smooshed together outside the store taking selfies with their ice cream cones, all while making a duck face. I needed to take a break after that to regather my faith in humanity.)

Factoring In The Factory

| Caledonia, NY, USA | Extra Stupid

(I’m a cashier and a customer comes in one day wanting to return a pair of earbuds, so I begin processing the return.)

Customer: “You guys need to learn how to make your electronics work better when you put them together in the back.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t manufacture any products in the back room. Everything is shipped to us.”

Customer: “What do you mean you don’t make anything here? I thought all stores did that!”

Generation ZZZ

| Caledonia, NY, USA | Family & Kids

(I’m a lead cashier and I notice a teenage boy walking up and down the aisles, so I approach him.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “No. I’m just bored so I’m gonna look around in here for a while, because I have nothing else to do.”

(What a generation…)

Silenced Her Cake-Hole

| Wasilla, AK, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am in at the customer service desk behind a lady who is attempting to make a return.)

Customer: “This is false advertising! You’re f****** lying to your customers!”

Clerk: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “THIS!” *slams a half-eaten cake onto the counter* “The label says it’s ‘German Chocolate Cake!’ I bought it for my book club as part of our International Cuisine week and they tell me it’s not from Germany at all!”

(The clerk and I both get the same look of utter disbelief.)

Clerk: “Erm, yes, ma’am. German cake is named after the man who created it, Sam German. It has nothing to do with the country.”

Customer: “Well, how the h*** are customers supposed to know that? Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was by this? I should sue you for emotional distress!”

Clerk: “Do you have your receipt? We normally don’t return food if it’s half-eaten but I’ll see what can be done for you.”

(The woman shoves her receipt in the clerk’s face and grumbles as the clerk goes off to check with her manager.)

Customer: “Honestly, can you believe the type of people they employ here?”

Me: “Yes, I know. It’s quite impressive, isn’t it? I doubt I’d have been that patient if it were me behind the counter.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Well, she’s happily making the effort to circumvent policy for something that is not at all her fault. If that had been me you were yelling at, you’d probably be wearing that cake right now, and have been kicked out of the store for being such a clueless, abusive idiot.”

(The customer opened her mouth as if to say something, but couldn’t think of anything. When the clerk came back, saying she could give the woman a full refund, the customer quietly accepted it and quickly took her leave.)

In A Very Angry Slate

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Bad Behavior, Home Improvement, Wild & Unruly

(A customer is trying to return a flat cart loaded with at least $400 worth of slate tile. I work as an inventory manager at this particular store.)

Customer: “I need to return this tile.”

Returns Associate: “Do you have a receipt or at least the box this tile came in?”

(The customer had neither, so the return could not be processed. The argument went back and forth until finally the customer stormed out of the store. He left his cart of slate tile by the front door, then got into his vehicle and drove it in front of the store. I assumed he was going to load everything back into his vehicle. Instead he dumped the tile onto the ground and moved the cart inside. He got back in his truck and drove it over the pile of tile, back and forth three times, then sped away. All of the employees watched this with wide eyes. We grabbed a couple of trash cans and loaded up the broken pieces. I asked a manager if I could take any of the whole pieces of tile home and was told I could. I was able to completely tile my front porch with all of the whole tile! The customer could have easily sold his tile to any of the contractors or resale shops in the city but instead decided to ‘show us.’)

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