This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

| Lewiston, ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(Working at a telesales company, I sold credit cards to people who wanted them.)

Me: “So, I need your total annual income. What is it?”

Customer: “$1200.”

Me: “That’s… $1200 annually?”

Customer: “Yup!”

Me: “And…. now I need to know how much you pay for rent or mortgage each month.”

Customer: “$500 a month.”

(We go through the rest of the call rather well. At the end of the application we can usually see if they are approved or not. In this case they were not approved, so this is the rest of the conversation.)

Me: “I’m sorry but you weren’t approved.”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Me: “Well… it’s probably because you pay more in rent or mortgage in three months than you make in a year.”

Customer: “No, I don’t! I make $1200 each month!”

Me: “Oh! So you meant that $1200 was MONTHLY and not ANNUALLY?”

Customer: “What does annually mean?”

Me: “It means yearly. How much you make a year.”

(The customer hung up. They were too stupid to be trusted with a credit card anyway.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28

Wrapped Your Hair Up In A Bun

| MN, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Spouses & Partners

(I work at a burger place that is known for their burgers but also for their frozen custard. A lady comes in with her husband who both seem to be in their late 30s. They order three separate orders: one order for her meal, which was just a burger and fries; another order of his meal that consisted of just a grilled sandwich; and the last order of two large blended frozen custard that both had some sort of candies mixed in. I’m doing my round of asking every customer how their nights are and how’s the food when I get to this customer.)

Me: “Hello! How are you two doing tonight?”

Customer: “We are actually not doing okay! My husband found a hair in his sandwich!”

Me: “Oh, I’m really sorry about that. Let me get you a new one of those!”

Customer: “While you’re at it, get me your manager over here right now! This is unacceptable!”

(I grab the sandwich to show the kitchen crew and to remake the sandwich and notice that the hair is blonde and all of us that are working are brunettes. I grab my manager to go talk to her and mention that I found blonde hair in it. All the while the husband still hasn’t said anything, which is odd considering it is his sandwich. I’m bringing out the remake of his sandwich and hear the rest of the argument between the blonde lady and my manager.)

Manager: “Was there anything wrong with your meal, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, no.”

Manager: “Then, I’m sorry, ma’am. I cannot refund you for your meal. There was nothing wrong with it, especially considering you ate most of it. I also cannot refund you for either of your large desserts. Just because you leave a fifth of both your desserts un-eaten and claim that they tasted horrible and that’s why you didn’t finish it doesn’t mean you would get a refund. I wouldn’t have even taken another bite if it was as horrible as you described. I’m only allowed to refund the sandwich, even when I have a staff full of only brunettes.”

(As the blonde lady was about to say something, her husband speaks up.)

Husband: “No. I know what you’re thinking. We are leaving.”

(Her husband drags her out of the restaurant, taking his sandwich and leaving behind the refund.)

Husband: “That was ridiculous and a waste of time just so you could save a couple of bucks. I don’t know why you couldn’t have just used your burger and just let me eat mine in peace.”

Closed To Fake Customers

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(Our store closes at 6 pm. It’s 6:20 and I’m standing by the front doors, waiting to lock up, while my coworker cashes out the last few customers at the store. While I’m eager to get home, I’m usually sympathetic when someone wants to grab something quickly. A woman walks up to me.)

Customer: “Hi, are you guys closing?”

Me: “Yeah, we’ve actually been closed for about 20 minutes.”

Customer: “Oh, I wanted to go in.”

Me: “Well, if you know what you want you can rush in and grab it.”

Customer: *very bright and chipper* “Well, I wasn’t going to buy anything. I just wanted to look around.”

Me: “Sorry, but we are closed.”

Customer: “So you’re not going to let me in?”

Me:“Um, no.”

Customer: “That’s not very good customer service.”

Me: “Well, that would be because you’re not a real customer.”

Animal Madness Theme Of The Month Roundup

Not Always Right | Roundups

Animal Madness Theme Of The Month Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s theme of the month!

  1. Like A Dog With A Bone About Your Dog (1,361 thumbs up)
  2. We’ll Sell You One When Guinea Pigs Fly (1,283 thumbs up)
  3. Not Dog’s Best Friend (1,226 thumbs up)
  4. An Ocean Of Reasons To Kick Them Out (1,127 thumbs up)
  5. Time To Separate The Horse From The Goats (1,441 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Listening Skills Don’t Carry Much Weight

| WV, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Transportation

(I am a cashier at a grocery store. Our management does not allow customers to take shopping carts outside. Instead, if a customer has a large order of groceries, we load them into a trolley and an employee follows the customer to their vehicles with the groceries. We always have employees on-hand to do these carry outs. An elderly customer comes to my register with several two-liters of soda and a box containing a 12-pack of soda, among other things. Thinking that this must be heavy, I offer to call a carry out for her.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, would you like a carry out today?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Would you like help out?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Would you like help out to your car?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *very slowly and deliberately* “Would you like someone to help carry your bags to your car?”

Customer: “Oh, no, dear. I don’t need that.”

Me: “Are you sure? It would be no trouble at all.”

Customer: “I’m sure!”

(I shrug and ring up her order. I bag her groceries, she pays, and I hand her a receipt.)

Me: “Thanks a lot. Have a great day!”

Customer: *stares at her bags of groceries* “Well, how am I supposed to carry all of this by myself?!”

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