No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 7

| Southampton, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Geography

(The shop is just about to close for the day when a customer comes in with a very minor issue, and while I am sorting the problem my colleague has closed the doors. The fix doesn’t take long, and I have just escorted the customer to the door to let him out when he appears to remember a separate issue:)

Customer: “Oh, yes, while I’m here I was wondering if you could take a look at this weird line that keeps showing up when I use my maps app. Now, where was it..?”

(He zooms right out on the maps so the whole world map is virtually visible.)

Customer: “Here we are, you see? Straight through Africa there”

Me: “Uh.. That’s the equator, sir. There’s not much I or anyone else can do about that, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Well, it definitely wasn’t there before.”

Me: “I think it probably was…”

Related:
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 6
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 5
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4

Thankless And Helpless

| Lexington, SC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(I’m wearing a red polo and khaki pants while walking around a store whose logo looks like a bulls-eye. I notice a woman is kicking a large stereo in a box down the main aisle heading to the registers with her foot and carrying her son in her arms.)

Me: “Can I help you carry that?”

Her: “YES! It’s about time someone offered to help!”

(I am shocked as I pick up the box and follow her to the register.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything all right?”

Her: “No! I called for help for 15 minutes and no one showed up so I had to slide the box along the floor by myself. Then after I’ve been pushing this box for the last 10 minutes, this a***** FINALLY shows up to help!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, he… he doesn’t work here.”

Her: “Of course he does! He’s wearing your uniform!”

Me: “No, I just happen to like the color red.”

Her: “Well, you shouldn’t wear a red polo and khaki pants in [Store]!”

(She stormed out of the store after putting her box in a buggy. I assumed some humility and a thank you would have been asking for too much.)

Never Too Old To Live

| OH, USA | Bizarre

(An old man approaches me. I can’t remember the first thing he said to me because it made absolutely no sense.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, what was that?”

(He puts out his fist to me. I’m unsure what to do for an awkward two seconds, then I put out my fist. He proceeds to fist bump me.)

Old Man: “YOLO.”

(He walks away as I stand there in shock.)