Icy Receptions

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | September 15, 2015

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer #1: “Vanilla latte.”

Me: “Would you like that hot or iced?”

Customer #1: *blank stare*

Me: “Ma’am? Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Medium.”

Me: “Okay, medium vanilla latte. Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Sarah.”

Me: *it clicks* “Oh, your name is Sarah. Okay, is this hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “I don’t need a receipt.” *begins attempting to swipe card*

(I give up, total the order, and write her name on a hot cup. The next customer approaches.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer #2: “Large caramel latte.”

Me: “Is this hot or iced?”

Customer #2: “Phillip.” *begins to swipe card*

Coworker: “And so sets the tone of the day.”

(The first customer comes back in.)

Customer #1: “EXCUSE ME, I WANTED THIS ICED!”

Me: “Of course you did.”

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Won’t See A Single Slice Of That Refund

| Columbus, OH, USA | Right | September 15, 2015

(I work for a one location pizza shop. A woman calls and orders a pizza and a salad and spends around fifteen minutes ordering, price checking, and deciding on her personal pizza and salad. My driver returns and ten minutes after she calls.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Pizza Shop] Pizza! Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Woman: “Neither. I got a pizza from ya’ll and there’s a problem.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that! How may I assist you?”

Woman: “See, when I ordered, I thought ya’ll were [Chain Pizza Shop].”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Woman: “So, yeah, I don’t want this. Send the driver back with my money.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that.”

Woman: “Why not?”

Me: “I answer every phone call with our shop’s name. You ordered from us; we fulfilled your order. Our transaction is done.”

Woman: “I must not have heard you. I don’t want this, though.”

(This continues on in this manner for another few minutes while my driver is stand there watching me incredulously.)

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I will not send my driver out with a refund. This shop has never been [Chain Pizza Shop], this phone number has never been associated with [Chain Pizza Shop]. There is not a [Chain Pizza Shop] for ten miles.”

Woman: “I want to speak with your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager.”

Woman: “I want speak with your supervisor.”

Me: “That’s me right now.”

Woman: “Well, who’s above you?”

Me: “That’d be our owner. He’ll be here at 11 am tomorrow morning.”

Woman: “What’s your name?”

Me: “My name is [My Name], ma’am.”

Woman: “Well, I’m going to call him and tell him how rude and unhelpful you’ve been.”

Me: “You tell him whatever you feel you need to, ma’am. Have a great night!”

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Not Always Right: The Comic – Pay It Forward, Driving Backwards

, | USA | Right | September 15, 2015

Read the full story here.

Accentuating The Problem, Part Trois

| France | Right | September 15, 2015

(I’m on one of those 12-countries-in-8-days bus trip through Europe. Our group, mostly composed of Americans, pulls into a gift shop. Behind the counter, a young French girl, apparently new to the job, is excited to be able to practice her English. As a Canadian, it is also a chance for me to practice my French. We’ve been able to communicate pretty well and I tell her that her English is quite good. She is delighted.  An old Southern gentleman walks up the counter, places an item in front of the clerk.)

Customer: “Emma chizzit?” *how much is it?*

(The clerk just stares, crestfallen. She is not even sure that her customer is speaking English, much less what he means.)

Me: “Qu’elle prix?” *what price?*

(And the clerk bubbles back to life, able to answer the customer in, again, decent English!)

Related:

Accentuating The Problem, Part Deux
Accentuating The Problem

Stupid By Half

| GA, USA | Right | September 15, 2015

(A customer comes up with two separate checks. The server put one dinner on the first check but should have been on the second check. Not a problem… or so we thought.)

Customer #1: “This dinner wasn’t supposed to be on my ticket.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. I’ll just deduct it and move it over to the other ticket.”

(Customer #2 hands me her ticket and I make the changes. When the changes are done…)

Customer #1: “Now, I want to pay for my ticket and half of that plate you just put on [Customer #2]’s ticket…”

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