Repeating Their Missed Steak

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | January 12, 2016

Customer: “Do you have a one-pound prime rib roast?”

Me: “…That would be a rib steak.”

Customer: “No, I want it to be a roast.”

Me: “…It isn’t.”

Would Have Been Ice To Know

| USA | Right | January 12, 2016

(My coworker just finished making a drink for this woman who had been watching her intently the whole time and is handing it to the customer at the end of the bar.)

Coworker: “Here is your drink!”

Customer: “Oh, I wanted that iced.”

Coworker: “Well, ma’am, just so you know, that is important to say when you order your drink.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 23

| TX, USA | Right | January 12, 2016

(I work at a bowling alley as a waitress. Near the end of my shift, four customers get a lane in the bar side of the alley. It’s painfully obvious that none of them are old enough to buy alcohol. The first customers are a young man who looks 19 and his girlfriend, who appears to be 17.)

Me: “Hello, may I take your order?”

Young Man: “Yeah, we’d like a plate of nachos and a shot of [Brand] whiskey.” *tries not to look at his girlfriend*

Me: *overly brightly* “Of course! May I see your ID, please?”

Young Man: *fidgets* “No, that’s cool. Never mind.”

(I walk off, shaking my head when he’s out of sight. The next time I walk by, his girlfriend seems angry with him. The girl, who was sitting right next to her boyfriend when I asked for his ID, waves me over.)

Me: “Yes, may I help you?”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, a [Same Brand] whiskey.”

Me: *even brighter than before, smiling so widely my jaws hurt* “Of course! May I see your ID, please?”

Girlfriend: *stares coldly, then turns away*

(I didn’t hear a peep out of them the rest of the night except for more nachos. Playing dumb beats real dumbness every time!)

 

How Em-Bra-assing, Part 2

| PA, USA | Right | January 12, 2016

(I work at a popular chain of plus sized women’s clothing stores. A woman comes in with her son, who looks about eight or so. Our bras are in the back corner of our store. The mother instructs her son to sit on a bench, and has me size her for a bra and then help her figure out what one(s) work best.)

Me: *turns around to show the woman a rack of new bras and sees that her son is no longer on the bench* “Uh, ma’am? Did you have a kid with you?”

Customer: *whips around* “What? Oh, god! [Kid]?! Where are you?” *starts searching the whole store, including under the panty tables and in clothes racks*

Me: *quietly use my walkie to tell the manager a woman’s kid likely ran off somewhere and ask if I should call mall security*

Customer: *starts coming back, looking like she’s either ready to cry or rip my head off because some people think it’s my job to watch their kids*

(The kid suddenly crawls out from underneath a dressing room door, in our leopard corset lingerie (completely fastened, mind you) with his T shirt stuffed into the bra cups and the stocking straps clipped onto his shorts.)

Kid: *clearly very proud of himself* “MOM! I’m Catwoman!”

Me: *goes entirely silent and just stares, at a complete loss as to what to do*

(My manager steps out of back room and then abruptly turns back in, but I can hear him on my walkie earpiece.)

Manager: “I am NOT dealing with that.”

(Things ended up fine. The kid did get scolded for disappearing, but his mother really couldn’t get mad at the corset thing because it was just too funny. Normally, I hate children, but this kid was great. He’s going somewhere in life, I just know it.)

 

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Thought It Was One Giant Smoking Mirror

, | PA, USA | Right | January 12, 2016

(We sell cigarettes, and you can clearly see them as soon as you walk in the door.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you guys sell cigarettes here?”

Me: *being humorous, thinking he is as well* “No, we don’t, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll go somewhere else.”

(As he started to leave, another cashier motioned to the wall of hundreds of cigarettes behind the counter, and lucky us, he found humor in his mistake, as well as we did.)

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