Moved On And Far Away

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(A colleague of mine has just gotten a job as an editor and left us, but she and I keep in touch as we are good friends. I am working in the shop when this happens but we both live in the area. Please note: she is very tall and good-looking. A customer comes in, does a few laps, and then comes up to me.)

Customer: “Where is [Colleague]?”

Me: “I’m afraid she’s moved on, sir. She doesn’t work here anymore. Can I help you?”


(Before I can answer, he storms out, enraged. I call my colleague on her mobile.)

Me: “Did you say you were having dinner out tonight?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m just two doors down from you actually. Why?”

Me: “When you’re done, don’t walk to the parking lot by yourself.”

Likes To Party Hard

, | Mexico | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice:)

Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

(Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

Top 5 Not Always Right Stories Of April 2014

Not Always Right | Roundups

April 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for last month!

  1. Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers (3,036 thumbs up)
  2. Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6 (2,950 thumbs up)
  3. Making A Mute Point (2,680 thumbs up)
  4. A Pint-Sized Understanding (2,673 thumbs up)
  5. Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness (2,532 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Sadly They Aren’t Cracking A Joke

| St. George, UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I work in customer service at a very large store. One day a customer comes up to me looking very upset and holding his cell phone in his hand.)

Customer: “I need to see a manager.”

Me: “Certainly! I’ll call them over now. May I ask what you need to see a manager for?”

Customer: “I need to file a complaint about an employee.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll call the manager over now.”

(The manager takes the customer to the side to talk, but I can still hear them.)

Manager: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I was browsing your store when I saw an employee stocking shelves. His butt was hanging out of his pants. Look!”

(The customer holds up his phone, and he has actually taken a picture of my coworker’s butt crack hanging out of his pants!)

Manager: *stifling laughter* “I’ll talk to that employee and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

(He never talked to said employee.)

Good Thing He Didn’t Hit The Ceiling

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal, Theme Of The Month

(A customer comes into the store. He has a jacket bunched up under his arm. I notice him looking up at the ceiling and approach him to see if he needs help. He doesn’t so I head to the counter. He is still looking at the ceiling and then back at me. I call a coworker over.)

Me: “That guy is freaking me out. He’s up to something.”

Coworker: *heads over* “Hi,. Can I help you?”

Customer: “No, just looking.”

Coworker: “Can I check what you have wrapped in your jacket?

(The customer unwraps the jacket to show that he has a black hair brush with a round hollow handle. Then he leaves the store. I head out for lunch and am sitting in a fast food place when I see the man come out of the toilet area. He again is looking at the ceiling and then around the restaurant. He sees me looking at him and quickly leaves. He still has that jacket under his arm, he heads to another fast food place. Again he notices me noticing him. I head back to work.)

Me: *to coworker* “I saw that guy again. He was acting suspiciously in [Fast Food Place] but as soon as he saw me he left. He was checking out the locations of the cameras, which is what he was doing here, too. I think that he was going to pretend he had a gun. The end of that brush could be mistaken for one.”

Coworker: “Yeah. We discussed it while you were gone and came to the same conclusion. I went down to the store that I saw him come out of and they had also noticed him checking out their cameras.”

(There were no reported robberies in the area. We were ready with our surveillance recordings if there were.)

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