Not Very Closed Minded, Part 3

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(It’s just about closing time. I am preparing the paperwork and getting the tills counted. A customer walks in and heads back to look at the drinks. He’s still shopping when closing time hits, and we turn out the lights. I’m going to lock the doors, when a new customer starts walking up to the door I’m about to lock.)

Customer: “Oh! You’re closing. I’ll go elsewhere.” *turns to leave*

Me: “No, it’s fine. Come on in.”

Customer: “Nah, it’s all right. I’ve worked retail; I know how much it sucks to get kept after close.”

Me: “No, really. There’s already a guy in here. You won’t be slowing us down.”

Customer: “Ah, okay, thanks.”

(He comes in, heads straight to what he wants, and brings it to the counter. Elapsed time, 20 seconds. He sees I have the drawer open and am counting cash when he walks up.)

Customer: “Are you counting out the drawer?”

Me: “Yeah, just hoping to get a head start on getting out of here.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll use credit then. Thanks for staying open for me.”

Me: “It’s no problem. Thank you for doing that!”

(He swipes his card and heads out. After he leaves, the original customer comes up to the counter. He throws down a hundred dollar bill for his under-$10 purchase, then looks around at the darkened store.)

Customer #2: “Are you guys closing?”

Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction, Part 2

| Lynnwood, WA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I was getting my best friend some candy at a grocery store to cheer her up, when I am approached by a lady who is at a sample station with dog treats.)

Customer: “Do happen to have a dog at home?”

Me: “Actually, I don’t. We only have a bunch of reptiles.”

Customer: “Reptiles, huh. When I was out this state, we caught large iguanas about this big—” *stretches out arms, maybe four feet* “—from the jungle and ate them.”

Me: “Iguanas can get very large.”

Customer: “It was delicious, but I don’t recommend eating your pets.”

Me: “No, that would be pretty messed up.”

(Luckily some people walked up to her table and she went to help. I wasn’t sure how to react to someone telling me they enjoy eating the pets I love.)

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Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction

Should Have Been A Piece Of Cake

| QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in a cafe that also serves gelato. We also make ice cream cakes which are entirely made of ice cream. We just put layers of different flavors in a pan, freeze it and unmold it. To prevent any sort of misunderstanding, we also put a big sticker on each box saying ‘keep frozen.’ Even then, the concept seems to be hard to get for some customers. A customer that bought a cake four hours ago rushes into the shop looking really angry.)

Customer: “I want to have a refund! The cake you sold me did not work!”

Me: “What do you mean, it did not work?”

Customer: “Your cake melted before I could serve it to my guests! I want a refund!”

Me: “Did you leave the cake on the counter for a little while before serving it to your guests?”

Customer: “Of course not! I’m not an idiot! When I put it out of the fridge it was already melted!”

Me: “Wait… what? You left the cake in the fridge?”

Customer: “Yes, I did!”

Me: “But, sir, it needs to be kept in the freezer. It’s ice cream!”

Customer: “And?”

Me: “Ice cream needs to be kept frozen if you don’t want it to melt!”

Customer: “You really think I am stupid? I know ice cream melt! We are talking about a cake!”

Me: “Yes, a cake made of ice cream.”

Customer: “And?”

Me: “Like ice cream it needs to be kept in a freezer.”

Customer: “But it’s a cake!”

Me: A cake made of ice cream!”

Customer: *pause*

Me: (pause)

Customer: “But it’s a cake!”

Taiwannical Behavior, Part 2

| Taiwan | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Politics

(I am Caucasian and work in Taiwan. Taiwan is a de facto independent country, even though China claims otherwise. Chinese tourist are notorious for harassing the locals on that issue, but I never had to deal with that personally.)

Customer: *rudely, as she enter the store* “You work here?”

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Customer: “You live in this city?”

Me: “Yup, for many years now.”

Customer: “Why you choose here and not Beijing?”

Me: *cautiously, as I realize from her accent she is Chinese* “I like the life here.”

Customer: “But Beijing is better! You should come to Beijing instead.”

Me: “Beijing is probably very nice. Maybe I will visit someday.”

Customer: “You better move. This city is no good. Beijing is better.”

Me: “So, may I assume you are from Beijing?”

Customer: *proudly* “Yes, I am!”

Me: “Cool! So we are both foreigners here!”

(She gave me a very black, angry look, then left the store without saying another word.)

Related:
Taiwannical Behavior

Wish You Could Jew Something

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

(A heavily tattooed bald man walks in to the restaurant where I am working. I am at the register. The guy orders his lunch.)

Me: “That’ll be [total].”

Customer: “Good, you didn’t overcharge me. Last week there was some Jewish b**** who got my order wrong. Of course, what do you expect? F****** Jews.”

(I grit my teeth and smile. He hands me a some money.)

Me: “Here’s your change and your receipt. Have a good day sir.”

(During the course of this conversation he insulted me, my brother, my mother, my grandfather, my late grandmother, and my best friend from school, all without knowing it. I kind of wish I could have told him, but I doubt my manager would have been happy!)

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