One Copy With Cream Cheese, Please

| WV, USA | Right | December 4, 2015

(I work in a copy/print center and I work behind a counter that has five large copiers all around me and a twenty-foot wall sign that says “Copy and Print Center.”)

Customer: “Do you make copies here?”

Me: “Nope, I make bagels. Would you like one?”

Please Take A Health Tip

| ME, USA | Right | December 3, 2015

(I work in a small-town convenience store, specializing in tobacco.)

Customer: “I’ll have a box of those [Brand] cigars, too, please.”

Me: “I got ’em with plastic tips, or wood tips.”

Customer: “Oh, wood tips, always! Plastic tips’ll give ya cancer!”

On The Straight And Narrow (Minded), Part 4

| OR, USA | Right | December 3, 2015

(I am female. I work at a pool as a lifeguard/swimming instructor/supervisor for a few summers. The town is extremely conservative, and I am dating another woman.)

Me: *picks up phone* “Hello, this is [Pool]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve heard there’s a [lesbian slur] working at your pool. How can you let her around the children?”

Me: “Ma’am, our employees personal lives are not our business.”

Customer: “Well, I want her fired. It’s inappropriate.”

Me: “You do realize it’s illegal to fire someone based on their sexuality in this state, right?”

Customer: “I don’t f****** care. I don’t want her around my daughter! She’ll fill her head with horrible ideas and make her a sinner!”

(By now, my boss has noticed that I’m about to cry, so she picks the phone up and tells me to hang up. I only hear my boss talking. Note: My boss is a 50-year-old mother of two that comes off as quiet, and I’ve never heard her curse before.)

Boss: “Ma’am, that’s not how we operate here.” *pause* “Well, f*** you, too. All of our employees are valuable members of the team, and I’d rather lose you as a customer than her as a family member. You are no longer welcome here.”

 

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Saved From A Long Hairy Situation

| UK | Right | December 3, 2015

(I am a male, with very long hair, and am admittedly slightly feminine looking. A woman and her young daughter come up to the counter.)

Woman: “All right, sweetie, give the nice man the money.”

Little Girl: *confused* “But mommy, it’s a girl!”

Woman: *clearly embarrassed* “No, sweetie, it’s a boy; he just has long hair.”

Little Girl: *becoming distraught* “NO! It’s a GIRL! GIRL! GIRL! GIRL!”

(The child begins to bawl loudly, still screaming the word ‘girl’ over and over again while the mother continues to try and correct her.)

Me: *in defeat* “It’s okay… I’ll be a girl.”

(The little girl calmed down and they finally finished the transaction!)

Bags Of Common Sense

| USA | Right | December 3, 2015

(The bookstore where I work has recently switched bag printers, and there has been a delay getting the new bags. As a result we have run out of plastic bags to put purchases in. We have signs on the front door letting customers know. An older man and his son come up to the counter with a stack of about six books. I ring them up.)

Customer: “Where’s my bag?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we are out of bags.”

Customer: “How the h*** am I supposed to get my books out to the car?!”

Customer’s Son: “Dad, you carried them all over the store and up here to the register. You can carry them ten feet to the car.”

(I was so glad he said it so I didn’t have to!)

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