In Need Of Some Dedication Medication

| IA, USA | Right | August 17, 2015

(I work at a busy pharmacy; we usually look up patients by name, then confirm date of birth. A customer walks up.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m here to pick up medication.”

Me: “All righty, for who?”

Customer: “For my dad.”

Me: “Name?”

Customer: “John.”

Me: “Last name…”

Customer: “Smith.”

Me: “All right, and birthday?”

Customer: “John Smith!”

Me: “No, date of birth.”

Customer: “I don’t know; it’s my dad.”

Me: “Address?”

Customer: “Something, something, street…”

Some Blood Is Thicker Than Others

| MO, USA | Right | August 17, 2015

(I am a nurse. At the hospital where I work, we take care of many patients who are from small, rural towns and are lacking in education. In this situation, the patient needs a blood transfusion. I am teaching the patient and family about the process.)

Me: “I will call the blood bank and get the blood ready to go. When I have the bag, I’ll come hook it up to her IV to infuse it. I’ll be monitoring her vital signs throughout the transfusion.”

Family Member: “How does the blood know where to go?”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m not quite sure what you mean.”

Family Member: “The blood. What tells it where to go?”

Me: “Well it goes into the veins, through her IV catheter.”

Family Member: “How does it know where to go from there?”

Me: “That’s where blood is. In your veins.”

Family Member: “Oh! I’ve always wondered how that worked.”

(Later, after I have received the blood, I am priming the IV tubing with saline. Saline is essentially salt water, so it is clear.)

Family Member: “Is that the blood?”

Me: “…No, this is just saline to prime the tubing.”

Family Member: “Oh, good! I thought my mom was getting some new kind of white blood!”

Me: *face palm*

The Color Of Stupid, Part 2

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Right | August 17, 2015

Customer: “I have some old photos that I want printed, but I want them to be in colour.”

Me: “Okay, sir, we don’t actually Photoshop colour into the photos here. You’ll have to use a different service for that. We only print and copy photos.

Customer: What are you talking about? Just scan the photos and colour copy them.”

Me: “Oh, so the photos are already in colour?”

Customer: “You’re not listening to me. The photos are in black and white so I want you to make a colour copy of them so they come out in colour.”

Me: “Sir, that’s not how photos work. I can’t bring colour out of a photo that has no colour to begin with.”

Customer: *now yelling* “Just listen to me and maybe you’ll get it through your thick head! Just copy… my black… and white photos… in COLOUR.

(I take one final attempt to explain it to him.)

Customer: “FINE. If you won’t do that, I’ll just have to take a photo of the black and white photo with my colour camera, and then you can print that out because it will be in colour! Or are you too dumb to figure that out as well?”

(I hung up after that point. I truly worry about people.)

Related:
The Color Of Stupid

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Refuses To Move From The Subject

| MS, USA | Right | August 17, 2015

(I work at an adult store in the same building as a topless club. I answer the phone for both sides. As you can imagine, we get a LOT of prank calls. Having worked here for over a year, I’ve gotten the same people more than once. This guy in particular I’ve gotten three times.)

Time 1:

Caller: “You sound like you’re ready to go home.”

Me: “Yeah. I’ve been here almost all day.”

Caller: “Well you do me a favor. If someone gets in your way on the way home, you tell them to ‘move b****.’ Can you do that for me?”

Me: “Um… sure.”

Caller: “What are you going to tell them?”

Me: “Move.”

Caller: “No, you tell them to ‘move b****.'”

Me: “Okay. Byyyeee.”

Time 2:

Caller: “You sound like you’re ready to go home.”

Me: *it had been a while since the first time and I’d forgotten about him* “I guess?”

Caller: “Well you do me a favor. If someone gets in your way on the way home, you tell them to ‘move b****.’ Can you do that for me?”

Me: *remembering* “I don’t like to give in to road rage.”

Time 3:

Caller: “You sound like you’re ready to go home.”

Me: *immediately remembering even though it’d been a while* “Actually I love my job.”

Caller: “Yeah, but sometimes you’re just ready to go home.”

Me: “Nope. I love being here.”

Caller: “Well, I bet when you get off you’re just ready to get home.”

Me: “Not really. I love my job. I love being here.”

(He keeps trying to get me to give him his opening.)

Me: “I don’t really like driving at night.”

(I immediately realized my mistake but it was after midnight and I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before.)

Caller: “Well if someone gets in your way—”

Me: “G** d*** it.” *click*

(Next time I’m telling him I live here.)

Getting Too Old For This S***

| Allentown, PA, USA | Right | August 16, 2015

(I arrive for my work shift and greet my coworker. After I clock in and the only customer in the store leaves, she decides to use the restroom. I’m working on the store computer when I suddenly hear her shriek.)

Me: “What happened?! Are you all right?”

Coworker: *comes out looking pale* “There was an old woman in here about an hour ago, who really needed to use the bathroom. So we let her.”

Me: “Okay…?”

Coworker: “She left a pile of paper towels full of s*** in the sink!”

(Stunned, I follow her into the single-toilet bathroom and stare in horror at the mess, which is exactly as she described. We get the mess cleaned up and try to joke each other out of our disgust, when her phone rings.)

Coworker: *looks at the text and chuckles* “It’s my daughter. She’s taken a job as a hostess at [Restaurant Chain], and she just messaged to say she had to clean up vomit. Now I can reply and say I had to clean up s***! They don’t pay us enough for this!”

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