Bugging Out About It

| NE, USA | Money, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(We always know in the summer rental cars will come back with lots of dead bugs on the front bumper and windshield. This was a joke we used frequently.)

Me: “Wow, looks like you hit a lot of bugs on the road out there!”

Customer: “Yeah. I was out on a lot of country roads.”

Me: “You know it’s a $1 per bug cleaning charge, right?”

Customer: *immediately irate, stands up in a huff* “THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS. I WILL NOT PAY THAT! I WANT TO SEE YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Whoa. Just a little joke, sir.”

Customer: *sitting down, still upset* “Well, that’s stupid. And not funny.

(I stopped telling the bug joke after that…)

Some Employees Never Grow Up

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Funny Names, Theme Of The Month

(When employees forget their name tags we have temporary tags for them to write their name on and stick them to their shirts. One day I forget my tag, so I grab a temporary one and write ‘Smee’ as my name. I am called to assist an older couple with an issue at a register. After the issue is taken care of the conversation goes as follows:)

Wife: “Smee? What kind of name is that?”

Me: “Oh, it’s an old family name. Goes back many generations.”

Wife:  “Really? Is it European?”

Me:  “English, actually. It started with a famous relative.”

Wife:  “Oh, how famous?

(The husband turns away and suppresses a laugh and smile.)

Me: “Well I had a great, great, great, great, great uncle who sailed with a famous sea captain as his first mate.”

Wife:  “Really? What sea captain was that?”

Me:  “Oh, you know, Captain Hook!”

(The husband cracks up.)

Wife:  “Oh, my. Wait. Who?”

(At this point I got called away to another register. As I left the husband and the cashier were laughing and the wife was asking who Captain Hook is.)

Carded If The Card Is Discarded

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(Per company policy, if a customer wants to pay with a card they need to have it with them. We can’t authorize them over the phone unless it is a credit card issued by our company. There are occasional exceptions, but really only for regulars. We are also always supposed to check an id. A woman came in to buy a bunch of supplies for her office. As she’s at the register to pay. She pulls out a piece of paper.)

Customer: “I’d like to pay with this.”

(The paper she pulls out is a photocopy of a company credit card.)

Cashier: “Uhm… we can’t take this.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Cashier: “Because we need the physical card.”

Customer: “Get a manager!”

Manager: “Can I see an id?”

Customer: “Why? My name won’t match. It’s a company card.”

Manager: “Then, I’m sorry but we can’t accept it. I really shouldn’t do it, even if the names did match. It’s against policy.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! How can you not take it!? Why do you even need to see my ID?”

Manager: “Ma’am, there is way too much risk for identity fraud. I have no way of knowing that’s your card, or company. Anyone could have taken that card and made a copy, or found the copy lying around somewhere.”

Customer: “Are you accusing me of stealing this card information!?”

Manager: “Of course not! But wouldn’t you rather have stores check ids and only accept physical cards if yours was the one that was stolen?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! It’s our company card! And accusing me of stealing?! I’m never shopping here again! You’re losing so much business!”

Manager: “Well, it’s better than getting in trouble for a fraudulent charge. Sorry we couldn’t help you.”

(The customer stormed out in a huff.)

Exposed For What It Really Is

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I’m working the opening shift at a chain coffee shop. It’s six am and I’m prepping for the morning rush at the bar.)

Female Customer: *quietly and embarrassed* “Hi. So, that man sitting outside by the window over there… I think he has his penis outside of his pants.”

(I look over and it’s a regular customer who pops in throughout the day. I turn back to her.)

Me: “Him, over there?”

Female Customer: ” Yes. I don’t know if maybe a male employee can go check and see?”

(I summon my male shift lead, who is confused at the accusation.)

Me: “If it’s true, I don’t want to know that much about him. Will you take a peek so I can help this woman feel, you know, not sexually harassed?”

(He reluctantly goes outside and talks to our regular and quickly heads back inside holding back a smile.)

Shift Lead: “He’s holding his sunglasses case in his lap.”

(The case was the exact same color as his skin tone. We told him about it later and all cracked up.)

5 Stories Of Super-Size Mayhem

Not Always Right | Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Super-Size Mayhem With the recent news that a New York court has refused to ban super-sized sugary drinks, it might be a good time to reflect on other super-sized fast food mishaps:

  1. When Super-Sized Burgers Meet Bite-Sized Brains (2,676 thumbs up)
  2. Would You Like To Super-Size That Band-Aid? (1,803 thumbs up)
  3. Tiny Pooch With A Super-Sized Grudge (2,173 thumbs up)
  4. Combo Number Four(skin) (2,096 thumbs up)
  5. Serving Your Pie And Eating It Too (2,314 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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